Canon Fodder
by Multikirby-Chaos7
Summary: A book in Multikirby's Trilogy. An adventure about a girl sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom (a la Pokemon Mystery Dungeon) who can't decide whether this is a good thing or not. Conflict! Adventure! Mystery! Suspense! Unique Format! Round Characters! Words! Proper Grammar! And best of all: NO MARY SUES! Maybe. No promises. This is a Multikirby production!
1. Prologue

**Here we go...A new adventure!...Great, now I sound like a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_****  
**

_Chapter 1: Prologue_

"Alright. Fine. I don't see how this is going to help, but...Hey, this says 'Introduction'. Is this like, a summary or something? Just...fill in the blanks, huh? No. That's boring. I'll make it like a paragraph. Gotta be unique, y'know? Right? Alright, no need to be so pushy!"

Hi. I'm Kylie. Kylie Kannett. I'm...pretty sure I'm eighteen, and I live in a small town in Massachusetts. Or, I _used_ to live there.

I have a pretty normal life. I'm loved by my parents, I'm loved by...my parents...Alright, fine. I never had that much of a social life, but since I never really _aimed _for much of a social life, it doesn't bother me. Although...it does have some drawbacks. For instance, although I said my life is normal, that means it is also boring.

My life basically consists of three things: school, homework, video games...well, besides eating, sleeping, basic dental hygiene...but whatever. I spend...a lot of time playing video games. I would be outside, with other people, but again, no friends. My parents say it's unhealthy how much I play, but in all honesty, there isn't really that much else to do. In terms of games, I'm mostly loyal to Nintendo, since that's what I grew up with, though I'm dabbling in Sony and PC gaming. I love certain indie games. My favourite so far is Shovel Knight, and...sorry. You don't want to read about that. I'll get to the point.

I realized my life was dull at a pretty early age. And ever since I played Wind Waker, I had a pretty good idea of the life I wanted. I wanted an adventure of a life. Like Link had. They were out there, seizing the day, _doing things,_ and I was sitting behind my TV screen, watching them. I wanted mystery! Unpredictability! Surprises! So every night (and yes, I realize this is childish) I knelt by my bed and wished to go on an adventure. My parents must have heard me one night, because when we went on spring vacation, they pointed out every flyer that had the word 'ADVENTURE' on the front. Of course, being young and naive, I jumped at the chance. But...these 'adventures' weren't what I wanted. Although ziplining and undersea diving is definitely cool, they weren't dangerous enough, risky enough...adventure-y enough, I guess...for me. They were predictable, they were...tours. I didn't want tours.

I wished by my bed ever since I was eight. By the time I was seventeen, I realized what I was doing was really childish. I'm in grade 11, I said. I shouldn't be doing this. So I vowed that if my wish wasn't granted by eighteen, I'd give up. I'd go after a normal life. And...because you are reading about this (because you know, future Kylie, exactly where I am writing in this diary and _who_ I am writing in this diary _with_), I don't have to say my wish came true. But since you might have Alzheimers or something, I'll detail it out for you. That's what the diary's for. But...I can't tell you how I came here. All I can tell you is I knelt by my bed and wished like I did every night. It was a few weeks before my eighteenth birthday. Then I climbed into bed and went to sleep.

I woke up to the face of Luigi 'Green 'Stache' Mario.

* * *

Dear Diary...

Today Mario went on another Mario Party. I was not invited. But that's fine. You can't be invited to every single Mario Party in existence, right? There's been parties Mario hasn't been to. And I've been to my fair share of parties, too.  
But...I can't help feeling jealous. He's only recently let me come on adventures with him, and that's only to help him. He's always the one to get the kiss from Peach. Is that selfish, Diary? For me to be thinking that way?  
As Mario left, I got ready to go to Vista Hill to...ah, who am I kidding, Diary? I went there to mope. I've been feeling really mopey for these past few days; I hope it clears up soon. But I had to go through Toad Town, which is never fun when I'm alone. Mostly because I keep getting mistaken for Link. It's not that hard, Toads! Link has a sword!  
But when I got to Vista Hill, something was different. Someone was already there. A human.  
This was pretty exciting, Diary. As far as I knew, there were only six humans, including myself, in the Mushroom Kingdom. So another one makes us all feel a lot less alone. So of course I got curious. And then she woke up.

* * *

**Okay, guys. I know it's short. Only 850+ words. But this is the PROLOGUE. Plot-heavy chapters will be bigger, I promise.**

**So in this story, I'm going to implement perspective. Each chapter will switch between perspective of Kylie and the other main character. I'm not going to spoil it, but you should already be able to figure out who it is.**

**This story is part of a trilogy. I have another book in the trilogy up, and you can read it on my profile. But you don't have to. The only reason I'm calling it a trilogy is because the plots relate to each other in a way I won't spoil yet. Each one still works as a standalone story. So you can read all three, only two, or just one. I'm writing them like this because the other two are in different categories (Pokemon and Kirby) and I don't want people who are only Mario fans to suffer because they don't know a Riolu from a Servine. So no, you don't have to read it. But if you're a fan of Pokemon and Kirby and like this story, chances are you'll like No Pokeballs Allowed and Window to the Past too.**

**I'm so excited. So, so excited.**

**-Multikirby**


	2. Can I Keep It?

**Luigi's perspective...**

* * *

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Can I Keep It?**_

Dear Diary...

Today I found a human.

* * *

Finally, Luigi emerged from the mental gauntlet that was Toad Town.

He hated Toad Town.

_But,_ he thought sadly, _it's the only way to Vista Hill._

Coming up to the hill itself, he slowly sat down on the grass, looking at the view to Bowser's Castle in the distance. Yes, that castle was the embodiment of evil in the Mushroom Kingdom, but it looked beautiful from so far away. That, and it was different every week from Mario's escapades. His favourite so far had been the carnival-themed one, but since he went on that adventure with Mario, he wasn't able to see it from Vista Hill. This week, Bowser's Castle was dark. Somehow, he had tinted the sky above it red, and it had purplish clouds circling above. The castle was lit from below by a molten moat surrounding the fort. Luigi guessed there must've been some lava pools along the second and third floors of the castle, too, since the outside sections of these floors had that characteristic orange glow. Multiple spires and towers took jabs at the sky, with the largest one in the centre. The front gates were swarmed with formations of Koopas, Goombas, Dry Bones, Magikoopas, and anything else Bowser had in his arsenal. And Luigi smiled as he recognized the huge stone face of Bowser himself adorning the front doorway.

He may be an evil Koopa King bent on world domination and Peach kidnapping, but Luigi had to admit it. He was a wonderful architect.

Suddenly, he heard rustling behind him. Whipping around quickly, he spotted a girl, asleep on the grass.

* * *

I had found a human, Diary. A _human. A human girl._ Diary, I thought that Mario, the princesses, the Wario Bros. and I were the only humans in the Mushroom Kingdom. But I just find one, sleeping on the grass. So of course I had went to take a look out of curiosity.

Don't get me wrong. It was curiosity. Just curiosity.

You know that saying about curiosity and the cat?

* * *

Luigi leaned over the girl in fascination. Her long blonde hair was spread across the grass, her limbs splayed as if she had taken a very long fall. She had round glasses, and freckles on her cheeks. Her eyes opened. They were a stunning color of green. Stunning. Luigi couldn't move, he was so taken by that mesmerizing shade of beautiful emerald

"Augh!"

_SMACK!_

* * *

And then she hit me. That wasn't how I imagined my meeting a new human to go. I mean, sure, I might've been a bit...taken by her eyes (why her eyes?), and sure, I might've looked a bit like a creep when she woke up to see me three inches from her face...but slapping me?

Actually, now that I think about it, that's probably what I would've done too.

* * *

She stood up quickly, backing away from Luigi.

"Hey, wait, be careful!" he yelled at her, eyeing the edge of the cliff.

"Who the heck are you, and what are you doing in my-" she stopped midsentence. Looking around herself warily, an expression of dawning comprehension came over her. "Where am I, and why did you take me from my room? And why are you dressed like Luigi? Are you one of those cosplayers? Those guys always freak me out, so you better not be a cosplayer!"

Luigi was baffled with what was coming out of this girl's mouth. This was definitely not how he imagined his meeting of another human to go. He tried answering as many questions as he could before she slapped him again. "I don't know what a cosplayer is, and I didn't take you from your room," he started, wracking his brain to remember any other questions she asked. "You're in the Mushroom Kingdom...and-"

"I'm not in the Mushroom Kingdom," She interrupted flatly. She put her hands on her hips. "Look, I know you cosplayer freaks try to be your characters, but you aren't supposed to _kidnap people!_ Where am I? I want to go home!" the girl screamed.

Luigi groaned. Nothing he said got through to her. This girl was beginning to frustrate him. "I told you, I'm not a cosplayer! I don't know what that means! And I told you, you're in the Mushroom Kingdom, on Vista Hill!"

"I am not in the Mushroom Kingdom!" she insisted. "If I was in the Mushroom Kingdom, there'd be Goombas and Koopas and clouds with smiley faces all over the place. I don't see any. Take me home."

Luigi brought his head back. She knew about the Mushroom Kingdom, at least. Well, if she knew about it, he could prove to her she was in it. "Turn around. If you want to know where you are, look behind you."

The girl groaned as she looked behind her. "How is turning around going to-"

Her face whipped back around to look at Luigi. Her expression was a strange one. Fear, realization, repentance, comprehension, disbelief, and...was that excitement?

"Oh my God," she whispered to herself.

Luigi was angry now. "You are in the Mushroom Kingdom."

The girl was no longer looking at Luigi. She was staring at Bowser's castle, slowly shaking her head. She was mumbling to herself.

Luigi's anger melted as the heat of the moment passed. He walked up beside her and looked at Bowser's castle himself. "It's pretty obvious you aren't from here."

"No."

Luigi waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "...Where are you from?"

The girl looked at him. "You wouldn't have heard of it."

"Try me," Luigi smirked. Not to brag, but he knew quite a bit of geography about this place. Mario told him stories of his adventures after every single

"Massachusetts."

"...What?" Luigi said quietly.

The girl refocused her gaze on Bowser's castle. She waited a bit before answering again. "Massachusetts."

"...Massachusetts? As in...the state, Massachusetts?"

Now it was the girl's turn to be bewildered. "You've heard of it?"

"I'm from Brooklyn. New York, Brooklyn," Luigi answered.

* * *

This was insane. Not only was this girl a human, but she was from the USA. Only Mario and I are from the USA! I didn't say a lot, but you have to understand, Diary, this was a lot to take in.

* * *

They stood there for a while, just looking at Bowser's castle in the distance. The girl suddenly stiffened, and put her palms to her face. "Oh, God. If I'm in the Mushroom Kingdom...then that means...You're the real actual Luigi."

Luigi said nothing. He had realized something too.

* * *

She had used my name. My _name,_ Diary. And she used the _right_ name! She called me Luigi! Not Link, not Mario, not green Mario, not green 'stache! Luigi! She knew who I was!

* * *

Then the girl realized something else. Apparently, this something was a lot more depressing. She gulped, started trembling, and slowly sunk down to the ground. She pulled her knees close to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them.

"What's wrong?" Luigi asked.

"I...I'm in the Mushroom Kingdom. Not Massachusetts. I'm not home...and...you're not home either..." she began as she broke into sobs.

Luigi became confused with a few things. How did he not being home have to do with her not being home? And how is she changing moods so quickly?

"I'm never gonna get back home!" she wailed.

_Oh, _he thought. _I'm from Brooklyn. I haven't gone home, so she thinks...oh, goodness._

Luigi hated seeing people sad. He crouched down alongside her, and looked down at the ground. He tried to think of something to say to comfort the girl, but nothing came to mind. Something was itching at the back of his head, though. Something he just couldn't remember.

The girl dug her head into her knees, continuing her sobbing. Luigi empathized what she must've been going through. Having your way of life ripped away from you just like that must not be an easy thing to adjust to. Then he frowned. At least he had Mario. This girl, she had nobody. She was alone, as far as he knew.

Then something ignited in his head. "What's your name?"

"It...it's Kylie," she said into her legs, not bothering to lift her head.

"O-okay, then. Kylie. I promise that I will do everything in my power to help you find a way home," Luigi stood up, putting a fist against his chest as he struck a pose.

* * *

Don't...ask. I don't even know now why I said that. Maybe I was starstruck about the girl. Maybe I felt like I needed to help her. Maybe I felt like I needed to impress her.

Actually...maybe it...maybe I thought I could get an adventure out of it. An adventure of my own. I mean, Mario's always out having adventures. Sometimes I tag along, but...it's not every time. I really wanted my own adventure, and...maybe I thought this was it. I was envisioning some sort of quest, traversing the land heroically, trying to help this helpless girl find her way back home. You understand, Diary.

But in latching onto that adventure, I made a promise. I made a promise to help her using everything in my power. And...I don't know if I'm ready to do that.

I've started something, hoping I've made an adventure for myself. I made a promise too, but...can I keep it?


	3. 404

**...Kylie's perspective. Not hard to comprehend, right? Sort of like the Hardy Boys series. Also, the word 'capitan' should be pronounced phonetically.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 3: 404**_

Dear Future Kylie,

So...today, I met Luigi. Yes, that one. Although, I'm pretty sure that this is going to be a pretty monumental part of my life, so I expect you remember that. So, not only did I meet the younger brother of the mascot and crown jewel of Nintendo, but he also promised to do everything in his power to help me get home. Knowing him, though, I'm not sure if he'll be able to follow through. I mean, he's a bit of a coward. This is, of course, assuming that everything happening right now is real and that I'm not having an extremely realistic hallucination.

* * *

"You mean it?" Kylie asked tentatively. "You'll really help me? I mean, you just met me. How do you know this won't be, like, uber hard?"

Luigi, still striking the pose, visibly paled. But he shook his head. "I'll do anything to help someone in need!"

Kylie shrugged. "Alright, thank you." She stood up. "So now what?"

This did not seem to be the reaction Luigi was expecting. He blinked twice, then turned to Kylie. "You said you're from Earth, right?"

Kylie gave him a strange look. "Uh...yeah. Massachusetts."

Narrowing his eyes, he nodded slowly. "Alright. I...I think I have an idea. But...we'll have to go back to my house," Luigi said, cringing.

"Why are you so upset about that?" Kylie asked.

"Because we'll have to go through Toad Town."

* * *

When he said that, I was kind of taken by surprise. He didn't want to go through Toad Town? What's so bad about Toad Town? It's just Toads. Sure, their voices are a little annoying, but...seriously? Hating an entire town just because of that seems a bit extreme to me.

* * *

Luigi stared up at the arches marking Toad Town. He heaved a sigh, then mumbled for Kylie to follow him. "Don't make eye contact with anybody."

"They're just Toads. How bad can they be?" Kylie looked around, seeing the mushroom people running to and fro. They reminded her of ants in an ant farm; dashing around as if they all had their head on fire. Not all of them were like this, however. Some were actually relaxing, sitting on benches. Some were just standing in the middle of the road, changing the direction they were facing every few seconds. Kylie thought they were kind of strange.

As Luigi and Kylie made their way through the town, Kylie began to see why Luigi hated Toad Town.

"Hey, is that Mario?" a Toad sitting on a bench asked another sitting next to him.

The other one shook her head. "Naw, that can't be Mario. Mario's got a red cap. Maybe he's Link."

"Link? From Hyrule? The elf boy?" the first one asked.

"Yeah. I dunno. Maybe he got a makeover or something," the girl Toad shrugged.

The boy narrowed his eyes, squinting at Luigi. "Why would someone get a makeover to look like _that?_"

"Don't ask me."

Luigi pulled his cap down over his eyes, and started walking faster. Kylie had to jog to keep up.

* * *

Okay. I'm beginning to see why Luigi hates Toad Town. I'd hate it too. Plus, all those Toads just sitting in the middle of the road kind of freaked me out.

* * *

They finally approached Mario and Luigi's house. Luigi unlocked the front door. "Okay, we're here."

"Those Toads were vicious..." Kylie marveled, looking back in the direction of Toad Town.

Luigi shook his head. "No, they're not vicious. They're just stupid. You know, they don't recognize me unless I'm with Mario or Daisy. Otherwise they call me anything from Yoshi to...Zero Suit Samus."

Kylie stifled a laugh. "Zero Suit Samus!?"

Luigi sighed. "Yep. They mistake me for a girl in a tight blue jumpsuit. I don't like Toad Town. Anyways, here we are."

Kylie hadn't really been paying attention, since she had been talking to Luigi. But when she finally looked around, she was both astounded and confused. A lump appeared in her throat.

Mario and Luigi's house was not how it was portrayed in the games. It was much larger. So much larger. Right now, they were in a medium-sized room with bookshelves that rose to the ceiling. The shelves were crammed with books, so much that they looked as if they could fly out and knock Kylie out like a bullet from a gun.

"Wh...How did you get all of this?" Kylie gaped, staring at all the books.

Luigi smiled. "Mario brings back a lot of coins from his adventures. And since he's always on adventures, he's left me to sort out taxes and payments. There's a lot of leftovers, so I...spend a few...hundred...thousand."

Kylie said nothing.

* * *

None of the games I had played had ever portrayed this room. Ever. How much else have I not seen? How big is this house? How many rooms does it have?

* * *

"This is the nonfiction room. I included legends and prophecies here, even though I know I shouldn't. Technically, they're fiction, but with all the prophecies coming true every week, you never know," Luigi explained as he led an astounded Kylie to a computer. "I've entered all the books I've gotten into this search program. If I have anything about Earth and how to get there, it should be in here."

"Y-y-you have a c-computer?" Kylie shivered a little.

Luigi gave her a look. "The Mushroom Kingdom may be a kingdom, but that doesn't mean we're in the middle ages. Now..." Luigi began typing into the search bar, looking for things like 'Earth', 'portal', 'travel', 'transport', and 'Vista Hill'.

Luigi frowned. Searching those terms didn't return any results.

"I'll have to get creative, then," Luigi mumbled, before typing away madly at the keyboard.

While Luigi looked through his library, Kylie looked through his library. She pulled books partially from the shelves, looking at their colourful covers. They were impeccably organized, and not a spine was out of place.

* * *

I didn't expect Luigi to be such a big reader. Who knows, maybe he isn't. How many of those books _did_ he read, anyways?

* * *

_Thirty minutes later..._

Luigi brought his head down on the keyboard. He groaned in frustration. "Well, Kylie, I don't know how you did it. But however you came here has never been heard of by anyone, ever."

Kylie, hearing her name, woke up from her nap in an armchair. She made her way over to the computer and looked over Luigi's shoulder.

"Luigi?"

Luigi currently had his head buried in the keyboard, the computer frantically typing the letter 't' into the search bar. "Mmph."

"Can I try?"

"Go ahead," Luigi grumbled. He stood up, and crossed his arms in frustration as Kylie sat down in the chair.

* * *

My parents always came to me to help them fix their computer. They thought I was some sort of whiz. I just knew how to use Google. Apparently, it's a skill. I just kind of knew how.

* * *

First, Kylie tried searching the same things Luigi did. Similarly, they returned no results. Luigi watched her with a critical eye. Kylie put a hand to her chin. Then she got an idea. She searched for 'Vista Hill legend'.

She turned to Luigi. "Vista Hill is the place I appeared at, right?"

Luigi nodded.

Looking back at the computer, Kylie looked through some of the books. Something caught her eye. It was an encyclopedia of the supernatural and strange in the Mushroom Kingdom. Apparently it had a legend about Vista Hill in it.

"Hey, Luigi, where's this book?" Kylie asked.

Luigi was already at the shelf, pulling the encyclopedia out. Kylie looked back at the computer screen. "It's on page...four twelve."

She heard the _thump _of a book cover hitting a table. She decided it wouldn't hurt to look more as Luigi went through the books.

"What does it say, Luigi?" Kylie called as she looked through the search results. She frowned, then revised the terms.

Luigi slammed the book shut. "It's a legend about a Toad couple that haunt the hill. Nothing about a portal."

"Dang. I'll keep searching. By the way, do you have any crotchety old people in Toad Town? They usually know a thing or two about stuff like this," Kylie said while turning to look at Luigi.

Luigi carefully placed the book back on the shelf, then swiped the spine of any dust from the table. Turning back to Kylie, he shook his head. "No, none that come to mind."

Kylie turned back to the computer and was about to continue searching, then stopped. "Are you just saying that because you don't want to go to Toad Town again?"

"...No?" Luigi chuckled nervously.

* * *

Sometimes I wonder whether Luigi is capable of helping. But he's all I have at this point, and I'll take what I can get.

* * *

_Back in Toad Town..._

"What's their name?" Kylie asked, crossing her arms defiantly as they stood outside the perimeter of Toad Town.

Luigi scratched the back of his head. "Krus T.," He mumbled.

"What?"

"Krus T.," Luigi said again, a bit louder.

"Of course. Of course it is," Kylie said, rolling her eyes.

Luigi gazed forlornly into the depths of Toad Town. "Do we have to?"

Kylie said nothing. Instead, she grabbed Luigi's arm and nearly dragged him into Toad Town. "Alright, where are we going?"

"S-slow down!" Luigi protested. Kylie let go, and Luigi fell to the ground. Getting up and dusting himself off, he huffed. "You know, you're lucky I keep my promises."

"What makes you say that?" Kylie asked.

Luigi stared at Kylie, then shook his head quickly. "Nothing. Krus T.'s this way."

* * *

Y'know, Future Kylie, I've been thinking about what Luigi said. About the promises. I'm not quite sure what he meant by that, but...for someone who offered to do everything in their power to help me get home, I've been pretty hard on the guy. Maybe I should be a little more lenient on him. I mean, he _is_ Luigi Mario.

Or is he? I don't really know if what I'm experiencing right now is real. I hope it is. I really _really _hope it is. But I'm not sure. The odds that this _is_ real are astronomical. And chances are I'm in some sort of coma. That or I'm passed out after an overdose on hallucinogens. But to me, not enough weird crap has happened for this to be a hallucination. I'm actually thinking this is happening. For real. Hey, Future Kylie, when you get the chance, go back in time and tell me whether I'm sane or crazy, 'kay?

* * *

**So the format of these chapters is pretty simple. The chapters will switch between Luigi and Kylie in terms of perspective. The diary entries will show the character's thoughts instead of italics. There'll probably be some sort of monologue near the end of the chapter. Maybe a summary of what happened, their basic thoughts about it, and...Oh, don't worry. You'll know why they're writing diary entries soon enough. But don't get too hyped up about it; it isn't a Mystery Dungeon-level plot twist.**

**Oh, and this is apparently causing a lot of confusion, but _no,_ Kylie and Luigi are not writing in their diaries throughout the entire chapter. I think of it like them looking back on the day and remembering everything that happened, and I'm just sorting it out chronologically for you. But I'll try to make that clearer in later chapters.**

**Until Chapter 4, g'bye!**


	4. Dimensions 101

**Luigi's perspective...Remember, guys, the diary entries are written retrospectively. As in at the end of the chapter. I say 'as in' not because I don't think you don't know the meaning, but because I don't think that's the actual meaning of retrospectively.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 4: Dimensions 101**_

She's really pushy, Diary. Really pushy. But I made a promise. And...again, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep it. But I'm going to try.

* * *

"Here we are, Krus T.'s house," Luigi stated, gesturing to the small, rundown shack in front of them.

Kylie tilted her head. "This? It seems a little out of place."

Luigi gave it a second look. It was true. The shack was flanked on both sides by normal, modern houses that met modern fire codes, and the shack seemed to sag even more by comparison. Nonetheless, Krus T. resided here, and she had for a very long time. Luigi motioned for Kylie to follow him, then went inside.

"H'llo? Who'sere?" A voice called from up a set of very brittle-looking stairs that were positioned right by the front door. "Did I forget to lock my door again?"

"You never lock your door, Krus T.!" Luigi called.

Kylie crossed her arms and smirked. "Nobody ever does," she quipped.

"Weegee? Izzat you?" Krus T. hollered. "Hold up for 'jes a sec', I'll be right with ye!"

* * *

I like Krus T. I like her for a myriad of reasons, the main one being she recognizes me. Most of the time. The other times like when she calls me something like Fiji I assume is because of Alzheimers, or whatever it is Toads get.

* * *

"Ah, Weegee, it's nice 'teh see ye again!" Krus T. said, smiling as she stood at the top of the stairs. She looked like a normal female toad, with the pig-tails, but her spots were a very light lavender. "What ken I do ye for? An' who's the lass wit' ye? 'S she yer-"

"No, no. Nothing like that. Krus, this is Kylie. I'm helping her with...a p-project. Right?"

Kylie nodded. "Yep. I'm studying legends and occult happenings. I've heard that you know a bit about those subjects."

Luigi stared at her in astonishment.

* * *

It had just rolled off her tongue. As easily as if she had been talking to me about the weather. I didn't say it out loud, but I was thinking something along the lines of _'teach me, master'._

* * *

"Well, then, is 'ere any specific one you'd like to hear?" Krus T. asked. "Och, hold on. I'm parched. I need to make myself some iced tea."

As she hobbled off into the kitchen, Luigi turned to Kylie. "You didn't find anything in my library?"

Kylie shook her head.

Luigi frowned. "Mamma mia...I spent a fortune on that library. I had this pipe dream that it had everything I'd ever need to know, but...I guess not."

"Aw'ight, come into the living room! I'm ready for ye!"

Kylie and Luigi walked through the kitchen, to come to a coffee table. There were two couches on either side of it. Kylie and Luigi took the couch opposite Krus.

"I was wondering...Are there any legends about interdimensional travel?" Kylie asked once she had sat down.

Krus thought for a moment, sipping her iced tea. "Ah...Well, the most prominent one is about that man right next to ye and his brother."

Luigi stiffened, before remembering. He had forgotten for a small moment that he wasn't from the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Really? Luigi, you're not native to the Mushroom Kingdom?" Kylie asked, turning to him.

"Um...no. I'm from a far off land called Brooklyn. It's a long way from here."

Kylie nodded slowly. If he didn't know any better, Luigi could've sworn this was the first time she had ever heard about this. "And how did you come here in the first place?"

"Mario and I were fixing a leak for one of our clients. We heard a cry for help down one of the pipes, and next thing I knew we were here. And...we've never been able to get back."

"Alright," said Kylie, before turning back to Krus T. "Is there anything else?"

"There's another story, but it's more of a made-up lesson than a legend," Krus T. said, before putting down her cup. "Y'see, the dimensions are very precariously balanced. As is common sense, everything that is made in a dimension belongs in that dimension. And if somethin' from one dimension crosses into another, things start to go wrong. F'rinstance, say that there's a lad from dimension A, and he crosses o'er to dimension B. Now, since he doesnae belong in dimension B, things in dimension B start to go wrong. Things like...ah...more natural disasters like earthquakes and fissures, certain people losing a sense of right or wrong, and in extreme cases, entire continents changing their structure. This is all because that lad from dimension A isn'nae supposed to be in dimension B. But the People Who Watch don't fancy that happening. So whenever something like that happens, they always make some sort o' opportunity for the person to get back to their home," Krus T. finished.

Kylie stared at her, then looked at Luigi. "But-"

"Ah, I know what yer gonna say. 'But Loogie isn'nae from the Mushroom Kingdom!' And as I said, it's a made-up lesson. It hasn'nae been proven. It's 'jes prose right now. But," Krus T. continued, taking another sip from her tea, "with all o' these legends comin' true e'ery week, ye never know. Now...is that all yer gonna be needin', or do ye want another one?"

"Uh, tell you what. I'll go and type this into my report, and if I need anything else, I'll come right back," said Kylie.

"Aw'ight. Sounds like a plan," Krus T. smiled wryly. "Now, off ye go. My favourite program's comin' on the telly, an' I don't want to miss it."

* * *

Another reason I like Krus T. is her accent. It's a really cool accent.

But what she said about the dimension A and B stuff disturbed me to some level. I'm not quite sure what it means, but if it is true (and let's face it, Diary, it probably is) then Kylie, Mario and I all being here at one time cannot be good for it. What if this place was normal until Mario and I got here, and suddenly all the residents turned into mushroom people, and floating blocks materialized out of thin air? And what's going to change now that Kylie's here? This whole adventure...well, it hasn't even started yet, and I'm already scared.

* * *

**The chapters in this story are going to fluctuate in length, more than they did in NPA, partly because of the perspective thing. I'm still going to aim for about the same word count as NPA, and I'm still going to try to update every day. So this story's going to go on a bit longer than No Pokeballs Allowed did, chapter wise.**


	5. Genre Savvy

**Kylie's perspective...I think you get the idea. You aren't morons. Most of you, anyways.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 5: Genre Savvy**_

Dear Future Kylie...

* * *

After being ushered out of Krus T.'s house, Luigi and Kylie sat on the curb.

"Any ideas on where this Deus Ex Machina might be?" Kylie asked as she turned to Luigi.

Luigi shook his head. "No clue, sorry."

Kylie put her head in her hands and began to think.

* * *

I was kind of proud of myself for thinking this up. 1. The Mushroom Kingdom is mainly within a game series. 2. Based on 1., that means that I am probably in or between a game games of some sort. 3. This probably means common tropes in Mario games apply to me right now. One of these tropes is the Sorting Algorithm of Threatening Geography, which states that stages that have calming meadows are first, and lethal volcanoes and fiery wastelands are last boss material. Therefore, if I am in a game, and this trope applies (which it usually does, especially in the New! Super Mario Bros. franchise), then we should go to some sort of volcano first.

I'm so Genre Savvy! #lampshade #tropergirl

...Okay, I swear on my life I'm never going to do that again.

* * *

"Do you have some sort of atlas around here?" Kylie said slowly, realizing that if she told Luigi right up front that she wanted to go to what could be the Mushroom Kingdom's equivalent of Mordor, he would abandon the prospect immediately.

"Yes, back at the library. Why?" Luigi asked.

"I was just wondering something. C'mon, let's go," Kylie stood up, before realizing she was starving. "Shoot, I didn't eat breakfast."

* * *

I really value breakfast. I think having a healthy, rounded breakfast in the morning is one of the biggest favours you can do for your body. Unfortunately, today I woke up on a cliffside, and didn't really get the chance to eat.

* * *

Luigi looked up at the sun. "Well, it is around dinner time, anyways. We could go back to Mario's house, and I could make something while you look through the atlas to find whatever you wanted to find."

Kylie nodded and smiled. "Alright, sounds good."

_Later..._

Kylie had about five atlases spread out before her. Currently, she was looking over the most recent one. Luigi was in the kitchen, probably making pasta of some sort. But Kylie didn't let his slightly off-tune singing distract her.

The Mushroom Kingdom was huge. And based on the historic atlases that she had already gone through (admittedly, out of curiosity), surprisingly inconsistent. The shape of the continent changed every month or so. This is why they had about five atlases for the past 20 years. And they were thick atlases. This really frustrated Kylie, because she wasn't sure which edition of the Mushroom Kingdom was the one she was currently in. The kingdom, at some points, seemed to revert to past editions, only to fluctuate to something completely new within two weeks. She felt like pulling her hair out in frustration.

It looked like she would have to talk to Luigi about it.

* * *

First of all: how. How on earth can an entire _continent_ completely shift within a few weeks? And it's not just this one, either! About three or so years back, they were neighbours to the Beanbean Kingdom for about two weeks. And then the Beanbean Kingdom just...vanished. Then not last year, they came right back. I mean, is this consistent to the games, or something? Because, Nintendo. You know I love you. But try to at least keep your main franchise's kingdom intact.

* * *

"Luigi?" Kylie called upstairs.

"Hold on a minute, I'm almost done!" Luigi answered.

Kylie was about to insist that it was important, then realized again she was hungry. So, she decided the fate of this dimension could wait about five mintues as Luigi finished preparing dinner.

_Around five minutes later..._

"Alright, it's ready!" Luigi announced.

Kylie gave one last look at the atlases, and headed up the stairs. She saw Luigi setting out the meal on the dining table. He had made hamburgers.

Luigi looked at the hamburgers with pride. "I wanted to make something quick. I realized I hadn't eaten all day. You probably haven't, either."

"No, I haven't. I skipped breakfast when I realized I was on the edge of a cliff overlooking Bowser's Castle," Kylie joked as she sat down.

After formalities such as asking whether she liked condiments on her burger, they began to eat. After a bit, Kylie decided that now would be a good time to bring up the issue.

"Luigi," Kylie started.

"Mmm," Luigi mumbled back, not speaking due to eating at the time.

Kylie bit her lower lip. "Um...I don't have a sure shot, but I have a pretty good candidate where that Deus Ex Machina could be."

"That quickly? That's good. Where is it?" Luigi asked, before taking a sip of milk.

Kylie was about to tell him, but realized he was drinking. Knowing what telling him would inevitably do, she wisely waited a few seconds for him to swallow before revealing the location. "...Blackfire Crater."

Unfortunately, what she had deemed 'wise' backfired. Luigi began to choke on the milk. "Haak! Haak! Bl-Bl-Bl-Bla-ha-hack!" Luigi coughed as he thumped his chest, trying his darndest to swallow the liquid lodged in his throat. He finally succeeded. "Blackfire Crater!? What makes you think that the Deus is there?!"

Kylie cringed. "It's...The process is a little too convoluted to put into words."

* * *

Actually, I didn't tell him because I was afraid that if I told him he was in a game, the world might implode or something. The fourth wall is not something to be messed with. Except by trained professionals.

* * *

Luigi was not impressed. "If we're going to Blackfire Crater, I'd like to know why."

Kylie frowned. "I'm sorry, I really can't explain it. Look, if it's not there, I'll...I'll owe you."

"That doesn't do much to change my mind," Luigi stated.

Kylie put her hands on her hips. "Alright, do I have to remind you that you made a promise?"

Luigi groaned. "That promise is going to be the death of me!"

"We aren't going now. We can go tomorrow if you want. Or the next day. But keep in mind what Krus said. The longer I'm here, the more bad things happen. And you don't want that to happen to the Mushroom Kingdom, do you, Luigi?" Kylie smirked.

"...Show me Blackfire Crater. I want to be prepared." Luigi stood up.

Kylie gave a smug smile. "But Luigi, you haven't finished your dinner!"

"Don't tease me. If we're going to go tomorrow, I need as much time as possible to prepare for...Blackfire Crater."

"Okay, okay," Kylie relented as she descended the stairs. "Trust me, I've looked it over, and the latest edition you have here isn't that bad. It's to the north of..."

* * *

Honestly, I'm not even sure if Blackfire Crater is going to be there tomorrow. I don't even know if it's in the Mushroom Kingdom right now. Although something that bothers me is...I've never heard of it before. But the most recent edition of the atlas had only that listed as World 8 material. So although the chance of the Deus Ex Machina actually being there is kind of slim, it's the best lead I've got right now. And one thing I've learned from these adventures is that you have to actually get out there before they really start.

Though these tropes I've been using...do they apply now? I mean, where I am is obviously real. I'm real. So this place has to be real, too. But how real is it, exactly? I mean, it was fiction up until this morning, and tropes applied then. But do tropes apply now? Is it only reality because I'm here, or has it always been?

Honestly, Future Kylie, if you get out of this alive, write a book on this stuff. At the most, you'll make millions. At the least, people will say you're...imaginative. Until then...I think I'm going to try to wean off of the tropes until I'm sure whether they apply or not.

If I'm going to be truthful...I don't want them to apply. I don't want to find the Deus in Blackfire Crater. I don't want this adventure to be over.

Not yet, anyways.

* * *

**Oh, TVTropes. There is no way to escape you. TVTropes Ruins Your Life, after all. Want to waste a few hours? TVTropes. Want to have a cynical view on every single piece of media you partake in? TVTropes. Want to have about twenty tabs open on your browser? TVTropes.**


	6. Kylie Doesn't Do Shrooms

**You know the pattern by now, right? Right? Also, I'm sorry for the chapter title. If I come up with a better one, I'll change it.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 6: Kylie Doesn't Do Shrooms**_

Dear Diary...

Blackfire Crater. Doesn't the name just give you chills? I don't think I'm ready. With a name like Blackfire Crater, things aren't going to be a walk in the park. So I had to get prepared.

* * *

Kylie knocked on Luigi's door. "Hey, are you ready yet?"

"Actually, I need your help with something," Luigi said from behind the door. "Could you come in for a second?"

"Sure," Kylie said as she opened the door. She stopped all motion once she saw Luigi. "What...are you doing?"

Luigi was standing in the middle of the room. On his head, instead of his cap, was a medieval knight helmet. He had a chest plate of the same making draped over his shoulders, reinforced with about three pillows on each side. His legs were also pillow-supported. He had steel toed boots instead of shoes, and he had shields in both hands. "Okay, Kylie, I can't decide. Should I put a visor on this helmet, or will it obstruct my vision too much?"

"Don't you think that's a bit overkill?" Kylie asked doubtfully.

"It's better to be overkill than killed over, or however that saying goes," Luigi replied. "I like to play defensively, and be prepared to run."

"From what, giant magnets?"

"I resent that."

* * *

Some people say I'm a coward. Some people say that I prepare too much. I laugh at those people when they rush in and die with nothing but the clothes on their backs.

Okay, I don't laugh, I cry, but the point is I don't want to be in their position.

* * *

"You need to take that all off," Kylie said flatly, gesturing to Luigi's body armour.

Luigi gaped. "All of it?"

Kylie nodded. "If you wear all that, it'll take months to get to Blackfire Crater."

"...All of it?" Luigi repeated, looking himself over, debating which of the stuff he absolutely needed. All of it. He needed all of it.

Kylie crossed her arms and put her foot out. "Luigi. You are not wearing a 'Full Suit o' Armor+'. You're going to take that off, you're going to pack _light,_ like I did, and we're going to go to Blackfire Crater, and we're going to find the Deus. Maybe."_  
_

"Is that 'maybe' attached to the whole statement?" Luigi asked hopefully.

"No."

Luigi heaved a sigh and began to strip the heavy armour off; Kylie wouldn't leave him alone otherwise.

_Later..._

"Hey, what do you use for healing agents?" Kylie asked as she packed one of Luigi's sacks with food.

Luigi looked at the food she was packing. "We usually use Mushrooms of some sort. Super Mushrooms, Ultra Mushrooms, Life Shrooms, 1-Up Shrooms..."

"Mushrooms? I can't say I wasn't expecting that, but is that all you have? Mushrooms?" Kylie asked, her face screwed up in disgust.

"Well, we have nuts," Luigi offered.

"Shoot, I'm allergic to nuts," Kylie said, frowning.

Luigi turned to her. "'Shoot'? Why 'shoot'?"

"I hate mushrooms."

* * *

She could have told me that she was actually an undead host of a pizza place, and I would not be as shocked as I was at that very moment. How the heck can someone not like mushrooms? We're in the Mushroom Kingdom, for crying out loud!

* * *

"We're in the Mushroom Kingdom, for crying out loud!" Luigi said, throwing his hands up.

Kylie shrugged, beginning to pack her bags, grudgingly, with a myriad of mushrooms. "I just don't. Why, are there assassins waiting for someone to say that they don't like mushrooms?" She took one look at Luigi's expression, and immediately looked out the window. "There are no assassins, right?"

"...No. I just...I can't comprehend how you don't like mushrooms. Maybe you just haven't tried one yet," Luigi said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Kylie came away from the window. "No, I've definitely eaten mushrooms before. I don't like them."

Luigi sighed. "So are we finished? Are we going now?"

"Almost," Kylie said. "Let's take one last look at the atlas. We don't want to get lost."

_Downstairs..._

"Alright, so it's directly north of here," Luigi said, nodding.

Kylie shook her head. "Not necessarily."

"What?"

"Luigi, take a look at this," Kylie said as she pointed at the book. She was outlining the continent. "See this? This is what the continent looked like three months ago, when this atlas came out."

She flipped back a few pages. "And this is what it looked like a year ago."

Luigi brought his head closer in disbelief. The entire continent was completely different. There were no islands in the year-old edition. Peach's castle, instead of near to the south end of the kingdom, was right in the centre. "H-how...?"

"You and Mario, I think. And...if that's what happens with two people, imagine what happens with three people."

Luigi began to shake.

* * *

I...I had never noticed that before. I'm kind of embarrassed about not noticing it. I mean, the adventures that Mario and I go on together have certain landmarks. One I remember is Thwomp Mountain. But I don't see that anywhere on the current version. And the Beanbean Kingdom. I haven't heard from them because they up and vanished. What is this place, and what are Mario and I doing to it? Should we go back to Earth with Kylie? I...Ever since Kylie came along, I'm having more and more questions about...my existence, actually.

Actually...Mario hasn't come back from his Party yet. I wonder if he's okay. I mean, he could just be in Spooky Land, where the party takes place over the course of a few days, but he would've let me know. I'm scared for him.

I'm scared for myself. Blackfire Crater...

* * *

**Chapter 6 already. If I want this to last longer, I've got to stop posting every day...though you guys wouldn't like that, would you? Oh, Cameron, the things you do to yourself...**

**Next chapter, things get real in Blackfire Crater. Maybe. No promises.**


	7. Lost in World 2

**This is the chapter I finally reveal Blackfire Crater!**

**...Maybe.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 7: Lost in World 2**_

Dear Future Kylie...

I started my adventure today. Or, I felt like this was the first official step. Sure, some people could argue that it started when I woke up on Vista Hill, but to those people I say 'shut up'.

I tried to hide it from Luigi, but I think I might've been more scared than he was. I mean, he's been around Goombas and Koopas and man-eating plants that spit out fire for years. I've been here for not even two days.

* * *

"Alright, Luigi, are you ready?" Kylie asked, standing on the threshold to the house, hands on her hips.

Luigi crossed his arms. "If it were up to me, I would've gone with the full suit of armour."

"Well, I want to get there this year. So, yeah. You're going like that," Kylie said. "Alright, which way's north?"

"It's directly north of my house?"

"Basically."

So Luigi pointed in a direction, and they began walking. At first, it was peaceful. Not much was said between the two. After a while, though, enemies began to show their faces.

"Eep! A Goomba!" Kylie jumped a bit.

Luigi gave her a look. "It's just a Goomba."

"Yeah, but...Wait, don't kill it!"

Luigi paused. He was prepared to jump, but he turned. "Why?"

"We're not going against Bowser. We have no reason to kill it, just like it has no reason to kill us. Right?"

"Right," Luigi agreed.

The Goomba looked up. "I owe ya, sister. As for you, ya fat oaf, try ta think things t'rough before ya act, a'ight?" it scolded before storming off in a huff.

Kylie simply looked after it with a mildly surprised expression. They continued walking north.

Luigi looked around as he walked. "Y'know, Kylie, I haven't really seen that many abnormalities, despite you being here. Maybe nothing's-"

"Don't. You. Dare," Kylie said lowly.

Luigi was taken aback. "What? I was just going to say-"

Kylie stopped walking. "If you say nothing's wrong, something's going to go wrong. Haven't you heard of Famous Last Words?"

"...No."

Kylie looked up. "Just...don't say it, okay? Now let's get going."

"Yes, uh...which way were we going again?" Luigi asked sheepishly.

"...You...don't know which way we were going?" Kylie's eyes narrowed.

Luigi put his hands on his hips. "Hey, I knew we were going north, and-"

"And then what? What happened?"

"We stopped, you talked to the Goomba, said that stuff about Last Words, and here we are."

"So you lose all sense of direction as soon as we stop walking?!" Kylie nearly screamed.

Luigi crossed his arms indignantly. "If you hadn't told me not to say that maybe nothing's wrong, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"But...you...UGH!"

* * *

There are few things more frustrating than arguing with someone, and suddenly you know they're right. You know they're right, and you're wrong, and yet you can't stop because you still have your pride. Even though if you keep talking, you're still going to look like an idiot. It's...infuriating.

* * *

"Okay, fine," Kylie grumbled. "Let's just...choose a random direction and hope I see something I recognize so we can finally get going."

Luigi took a deep breath. "...Kylie...are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Let's just go." Kylie began walking. The fields looked so generic, that Kylie couldn't remember which way she was walking in. Everywhere she looked were round hills with faces. It was...creepy. She didn't like it. But, if she was going to be here, she'd have to get used to it. As they walked, the grass began to fade out, leaving sand. Kylie frowned. Blackfire Crater was in a desert climate, but so is about eighty percent of World 2s.

She finally looked back at Luigi to see how he was holding up. He was holding up...something. It was a brown, wooden box with a speaker built into it.

"What's that?" Kylie asked.

Luigi turned it around. "It looks like a radio of some sort. It's probably battery-powered or something since I don't see a cord or anything. But...the batteries must be out."

"Can I see it?" Kylie asked. Luigi nodded, and handed it over. She looked it over once, before giving Luigi a chastising look. "It's off."

* * *

I know we fought. But...it's hard to say sorry, y'know? Most of the time, when I fight with...my parents, we don't say sorry. Some will say it's unhealthy to do that, but I always felt like it was unnatural. I guess my parents thought it was unnatural, too. They never said sorry either. When we fought, we fought, and the next day, we pretended nothing ever happened.

* * *

Blushing, Luigi took back the radio, and flipped the on switch. Static came through the speakers, and Luigi began fiddling with the dials, trying to find a channel.

"Do you think there's going to be anything out here in the desert?" Luigi asked absently.

"kkhhhkkhkkhhhhkkh...you know, the farmer?...kkkhkkhkkhk" the radio hissed.

Kylie perked at that question the radio asked. It sounded familiar. Not the question itself, but...who was saying it...how it was phrased, what it was saying. But she couldn't quite remember. She looked back north, and saw a small collection of buildings. These, she also recognized, but...not quite.

Luigi kept fiddling with the dial, trying to capture the channel he had stumbled upon about twenty seconds ago.

"Aha, I think I've got it!" Luigi exclaimed.

The radio whispered, "kkkhkkkhhh...Dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park. It is possible you may see hooded figures in the dog park. Do not approach them. _Do NOT approach the dog park._.."

"Turn it off," Kylie stated, fear heavy in her voice.

"What?" Luigi asked, confused.

"Turn it off, now. Please," Kylie said again.

* * *

Those words...I knew those words. I knew that town. I knew we had to get away from that town as soon as possible. I don't know what it was doing in the Mushroom Kingdom, but it was not good to be near that town.

* * *

"Luigi, let's leave. Let's leave immediately," Kylie insisted.

Luigi stared at Kylie in confusion. "What? Why? What's wrong?"

"We need to get away before the helicopters with the detailed murals depicting birds of prey come any closer."

"What helicopters?"

Kylie shook her head, grabbed Luigi by the wrist and began to run. Luigi struggled to keep up, protesting all the while.

_Later..._

Kylie had finally gotten away from that little desert town. They were safe. There were no helicopters anymore. Kylie rested her hands on her knees, panting from the physical exertion she was most definitely not used to.

"Wh...what was that...all about?" Luigi asked, obviously winded, though not as much as Kylie was.

Kylie shook her head. "That...was...a town...that you...don't...want...anything...to do with..." she forced out between wheezes.

"What town was it? Do I know it? How do you know it?"

"That...was Night Vale."

* * *

Night Vale. In the Mushroom Kingdom. I did not see this coming. At all. I think this might have to do with the fact that I exist here, or something. What's worse, is that if that's there, then the image of the Mushroom Kingdom I had from the atlas is moot. So...basically, we're lost in World 2. Or...I think it's World 2. I don't know anymore. Night Vale kind of threw me off.

* * *

**For those who don't know, Welcome To Night Vale is a radio podcast mimicking a radio show that takes place in a small desert community where supernatural things happen as often as the Weather (that's a Night Vale joke, by the way). It updates twice every month (on the 1st and 15th). I like it. You might. But...I wouldn't want to live there. Also, I've established the B-Plot. See if you can find it.**

**Reviews are always appreciated! You have no excuse not to review, since you can post reviews anonymously!**


	8. Campfire

**I did not put Night Vale into the story solely to promote it. I promise.  
**

**I wonder how many of you caught onto the B-Plot...**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 8: Campfire**_

Dear Diary...

Kylie freaked out once we got near that town...In my opinion, Diary, she knows things about the Mushroom Kingdom she shouldn't know. At least, not if she's been living in Massachusettes for her entire life. I think she isn't telling me something. But that's just a hunch. I'll try to be discreet when I confront her about it.

* * *

Kylie looked up at the sky. "It's getting dark," she said flatly. "We should probably set up a camp or something."

Luigi agreed, before frowning. Looking around the desert, he realized there wasn't a lot to work with. Nonetheless, he dug around in his backpack, and found a few things that would be useful. He began to get to work.

Kylie was looking through her bag as well, but she had only packed food and clothing. Luigi smirked as he remembered Kylie chastising him because he packed too much. Kylie brought her head up sharply, then turned to look at Luigi, who quickly went back into his bag. He pulled out two sleeping bags, some lumber and a pot.

"Alright, I think that's enough for tonight. You've got the food, right?" Luigi asked, turning to Kylie. This was when he noticed the dumbstruck look on Kylie's face as she saw exactly what Luigi pulled out of his bag.

"H...how did you fit all that stuff into your bag?" Kylie asked incredulously.

Luigi gave her a confused look. "What, you didn't?"

Kylie gave a quick look at her bag, which was filled to the brim with Mushrooms and sandwiches she had made. Or...she thought it was filled to the brim.

"That was all you packed?" Luigi asked.

Kylie threw her hands up. "I'm not used to Mushroom Kingdom physics, okay?"

* * *

I'm really surprised she didn't pack more. She could've fit so much more into her backpack. I took her advice and packed light, but she...that wasn't light, that was minimalist! It was as if she took one look at the outside of the backpack and decided exactly how much could fit in it...oh, I think I get it now.

* * *

The campfire crackled by their feet as they laid on the sleeping bags on opposite sides of the fire. Luigi smiled as he looked up at the sky. He always thought the constellations were beautiful. The walkways of World 9 connected them together, drawing lines between stars. He hoped one day he could walk up there with his brother. The stars seemed...so close. Luigi silently recalled what the sky looked like back in Brooklyn. It was a lot more dark. There were fewer stars, and they seemed further away. Luigi felt like he should think this sky was better, what with its complicated constellations and celestial walkways, but...he didn't. This sky felt much too...personal. The Brooklyn stars always made Luigi feel like there was still more out there. That...

"There are some things that haven't been discovered," he whispered.

Kylie sat up. "Hmm? What is it?"

"Oh, nothing," Luigi waved her off. "Just thinking about Mario."

Kylie seemed satisfied, and laid back down. "What do you think about Mario, anyways?"

"He's my older brother. He wears red, I wear green. He's usually the one to go out on adventures, get the girl, stomp the turtle, and-"

"No, I know who he is, but...what do you think of him?"

* * *

This, Diary, I was weirded out by. She skipped my introduction of Mario to her. She's heard his name, but not much more than that. How could she know? How does she know? She's...she seems a lot more used to the Mushroom Kingdom than Mario and I were when we ended up here. And...I'm getting suspicious.

* * *

"I think of him as a role model, I guess," Luigi said slowly.

"What kind of role model?"

"He's always going out on adventures, discovering new lands, kicking turtle butt, and...and-a savin' the a-princess...but when he takes me along...I just get so happy. Even if I'm scared some of the time, I remember my happiest moments adventuring with Mario. And...if I'm going to be truthful to myself, I don't know if I'm ready to go on an adventure all by myself."

Kylie sat up. "What makes you say that? You seem...competent."

"Thanks," Luigi said sarcastically, before continuing. "A while ago, I...I won a mansion. Mario went there early to plan a party for me. Then he got captured by King Boo. I had to go through that ghost-infested mansion and save Mario alone. I ended up winning, but...I'm really, really scared of ghosts."

"Wait, so _that's_ when you became a coward?"

Luigi had had enough of Kylie's cryptic speech. He stood up. "What is that supposed to mean? Don't you think I _know _I'm a coward? Or...or do you mean that I was _supposed_ to be a coward _before_ the mansion? And about that, how do you know so much about me? How do you know so much about the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I can't tell you," Kylie said quickly, defending herself.

"And why not?" Luigi was getting angry.

Kylie shook her head. "I'm scared of what will happen if I do!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean!?" Luigi threw his hands up.

"I can't tell you! If I feel like it's safe to tell you, Luigi, I will! I promise!" Kylie yelled.

"Be careful with promises, Kylie," Luigi said quietly. "You might end up regretting you ever made them."

Kylie didn't reply. After a few seconds of silence, Luigi spoke up. "I'm...I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

She didn't answer. She was still looking at the ground, except now her shoulders were heaving.

"Kylie, are you...are you okay?" Luigi asked, concerned.

Finally Kylie looked up. Her eyes glistened with tears in the firelight. "You...you said..."

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm really, really sorry," Luigi apologized profusely.

Instead of making Kylie feel better, this caused her to burst into tears.

* * *

Honestly, Diary, how many curveballs can one girl throw at me? Travelling with Mario is so much easier...

* * *

_Later..._

"I'm...I'm fine, now. Thank you, Luigi," Kylie said, embarrassed.

Luigi nodded. "It's okay. It's probably the adventure getting to your head. I've been on a few with my brother, so at least I'm used to it."

"Yeah, that's probably it," Kylie agreed. "I'm going to try to find Blackfire Crater tomorrow."

"Alright. Good night," Luigi said as he slipped into his sleeping bag.

"G'night," Kylie replied.

* * *

It's hard to write under the sleeping bag, so if the writing's messy, blame that.

Kylie's a strange one. She knows stuff she shouldn't know, and she flips moods very quickly. Who is she?

* * *

**It's true! Assuming games featuring Adult Luigi come in chronological order, Luigi's Mansion was the first one to exhibit cowardly behaviour from the green plumber (other than the diary in Paper Mario). If you have a different story, feel free to tell me in the comments.**

**...Finally...done...this...chapter...I had to do it three times over because Chrome kept crashing. Sorry for the delay, guys.**


	9. Wake Me Up

**This time, Kylie's finally going to make it to Blackfire Crater! Maybe!**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 9: Wake Me Up**_

Dear Future Kylie...

I'm getting paranoid. Luigi's already caught on to the fact that I know too much. That scares me. It's way too early. I feel like I should tell him, but then again, I don't really like the idea of the fourth wall crashing down around my ears. What to do?

* * *

Kylie gained consciousness within her sleeping bag. Her back was sore from sleeping so close to the ground, and her eyes refused to open for more than three seconds at a time before forcing her to close them again. Rubbing her eyes with her fists, she tried to get the sleep out. This only succeeded in making her eyes sore. To make matters worse, the sun was in her eyes as soon as she sat up, doing nothing to cure the blindness she was already suffering from. And so there she sat, squinting in the sunlight, with her hair in a chaotic pattern.

"Good morning!" Luigi was on the other side of the campfire, which now only had burning coals, which he was using to roast mushrooms. "Guess what's for breakfast."

Kylie's half closed eyes would've shown disdain if they could. "It's shrooms, isn't it?"

* * *

Waking up sucks, Future Kylie, but I'm sure you knew that. Maybe you don't, though. Alzheimers, maybe. I don't know how old you're going to be when you read this, but I do know that when you do, you're going to cringe at how immature I was and how funny I was trying to be. But where was I? Oh yes.

Waking up sucks. Especially when you have mushrooms for breakfast. Breakfast, Kylie. The most important meal of the day, and it doesn't even have all four food groups. I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to last on this diet.

* * *

Finally, Kylie's eyes began to feel more like eyes and less like cinder blocks, and she was able to open them for longer than ten seconds.

"Yep, it's shrooms. You know, Kylie, for someone who says they hate shrooms, you sure packed a lot of them," Luigi stated, looking at Kylie's open backpack.

Kylie crossed her arms. "It's not like you had much selection at your house, you know."

Luigi let out a small chuckle. "True enough. But shrooms are what's for breakfast, so you'll have to buck up and chow down. We've got a pretty big task ahead of us, anyways."

"Okay, fine," Kylie said, rolling her eyes. She took one of the roasted Super Mushrooms Luigi had prepared, and hesitantly took a bite. She choked.

Luigi looked at her with a genuinely confused look. "You really don't like them? How? They taste so good!"

Thumping her chest, Kylie was able to swallow the piece that got stuck in her chest. Coughing, she tried to answer. "I *cough* I just don't *cough-cough* like the taste. But I guess I'll have to *cough* get used to it if I'm *cough* going to be here a while, *cough* huh?"

"You'd better. We don't have a lot of food for selection right now. Sometimes, we do. Sometimes, we're able to make things like Spicy Soup and Honey Mushrooms, but most of the time, it doesn't work. Do you know why?" Luigi asked, discreetly looking at Kylie.

Kylie looked at the ground uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, Luigi, but I really can't say."

Luigi frowned, but seemed to accept the answer. "Are you done with breakfast, then?"

"That wasn't breakfast," Kylie said flatly. "But I'm done eating, if that's what you mean. Let's get going. We need to find something I recognize from the atlas if we're ever going to make it to Blackfire Crater. If it still exists."

* * *

Shrooms. They're going to be the death of me. Actually, I probably shouldn't say something like that. Not after I just finished scolding Luigi about Famous Last Words. Shoot. They're literally going to be the death of me, aren't they?

* * *

_Later..._

Walking through the desert was a little more unpleasant than the first day. This was because Kylie had not slept in a comfortable position and now had a bad back. Luigi did not seem to suffer from this problem.

"Slow down, Luigi!" Kylie called after him. He was at least five feet ahead of her, and that number was growing.

Luigi did skid to a stop, then turned around. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"My back," Kylie said, cringing. "I think I slept on it wrong."

"How old are you again?" Luigi asked, smirking.

Kylie sighed. "I'm seventeen, but-"

"That's way too young to be complaining about a bad back! Let's go!"

Kylie stumbled after the green plumber, looking around warily for any sort of an unwelcome visitor that could pop up at any moment. Strangely, none did. For her entire time in this desert, Kylie had not seen a single Goomba, Koopa, Pokey, or even a Buzzy Beetle. As far as she could tell, the only inhabitants of the desert were Luigi and her.

* * *

It was strange. Maybe it had to do with me coming into this world. Sure, I was glad I didn't have to fight for my life out here, but being completely alone was pretty creepy in its own right. It was just me, Luigi, and the wide expanse of sand. What was even stranger was that it seemed to go on forever. I didn't see any end to the desert. If we didn't find something soon, the desert motif would drive me insane.

* * *

"Hey, Kylie, do you see that?" Luigi asked, pointing towards something in the distance.

Kylie peered past the glaring sun (the one with the face) and followed Luigi's finger. She saw water. A wide expanse of water.

"World 3. Dang," she mumbled.

"Dang?" Luigi repeated. "We're out of the desert!"

Kylie shook her head, grimacing. "Seeing World 3 means we overshot. This...this means when we were supposed to go north, we went northwest instead. And then when we redirected, we..." Kylie squinted, trying to remember the layout of the atlas. "We went purely...um...Okay, the continent's different. It changed. Blackfire Crater doesn't exist anymore."

"What!? We came out here for nothing?!" Luigi said, exasperation apparent in his voice.

Kylie shook her head helplessly. "I guess so." She turned to the sea, and sighed. "I always hated World 3. I...I always hated swimming."

"Mmph!"

Kylie turned around. "Sorry?" She asked nobody. Luigi was gone.

Then she was gone, too.

* * *

**Next chapter...finally, some action! Some fighting! Some...sand! Maybe! No promises!**

**I swear, one Author Note I make a promise, the next I swear there are no promises. I need to stick to one policy or my head is liable to explode.**

**Yes, it's a short chapter. But the next chapter, being an action chapter will be super long! In comparison! Maybe! No promises!**


	10. Whispers

**Hello once again audience! When we left off, Kylie and Luigi were about to die. Maybe. No promises. There I go again.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_  
**

**_Chapter 10: Whispers_**

Dear Diary...

It was an hour and a half before I got all the sand out of my hair. What a nuisance.

* * *

"What!? We came out here for nothing?!" Luigi said, exasperation filling his voice.

Kylie shook her head. "I guess so." She turned to the sea, and sighed. "I always hated World 3. I...I always hated swimming."

_World 3? What on earth is she talking ab- What just touched me?_

Luigi looked down and saw a claw grasp his ankles. He was about to kick them off, before they began to pull him into the sand.

He was about to cry for help, but the sand covered his mouth, so all he could force out was a "Mmph!"

"Sorry?" was all Luigi heard before he was completely submerged into the sand. Frantically, he kicked his legs, trying desperately to dislodge the claw that had fastened itself to his foot. Grains of sand forced their way into his mouth. He could no longer breathe. He saw black splotches pass through his vision, growing larger and larger, until they took over. Luigi was unconscious.

_Later..._

Luigi rubbed his head. It was understandably sore after what he went through. Shaking sand out of his hair, he sat up. The first thing he saw was his cap next to him, which he put on.

_It's nice to know whoever kidnapped me had the etiquette to get my cap too,_ he thought bitterly. _Where am I, anyways?_

Getting his bearings, Luigi saw that he was in some sort of an underground cave. "Kylie?" he said quietly, as to not alert his kidnapper that he was awake. "Kylie, are you here?"

"Mmm, five more minutes," a voice mumbled from behind Luigi. He turned around and saw her lying on the ground, fidgeting. "It's Saturday, innit?"

"You're awake," another voice whispered, somewhere down the tunnel.

Luigi turned again, and saw a Monty Mole staring at him from behind a rock. "That's good. I was wondering if you hit your head on the way down."

Kylie jolted up and took a stance. "So you're the one who kidnapped us and brought us here against our will?" she asked angrily.

"Shh!" the mole scolded, his voice barely above silence. "I didn't kidnap you, I saved you. From the dangers of the surface. It's safer down here, relatively speaking. Trust me."

"Dangers of the surface? What dangers?" Luigi asked.

"What do you mean, 'relatively speaking'?" Kylie continued.

"Shh! There are dangers down here, too. But you can defend yourself from the dangers down here. You can't defend yourself from the dangers up there. So many dangers...You can't escape them. You can only choose the lesser of two evils," the Monty Mole breathed.

"What's the evil up there?" Luigi asked.

"The sun," the mole said quietly.

Kylie crossed her arms. "That's not dangerous! We've spent a day and a half out in the sun!"

The mole's eyes widened. "How are you still alive?" it said, before covering its mouth. Again, it whispered, "There's dangers down here, too. Dangers...but they are not as bad as the sun."

"Well, if they're not as bad as the sun," Kylie said, turning to Luigi, "how bad can they be?...Wait...No, no, forget I said that-"

"GROOOOOOH!"

Kylie slapped her face.

"Was that...Famous Last Words?" Luigi asked hesitantly.

Kylie simply nodded grimly. "Um...Mr. Monty Mole, what was that roar?"

"Shh! It'll hear you!" the mole whispered. "It has very, very good hearing, the danger. But as long as you can hide, you'll be fine."

Luigi looked up and down the tunnel, and saw absolutely no hiding place in sight. "Where do we hide?"

"Shh! Like this," the mole said, before disappearing into the ground.

Realizing what the Monty Mole meant by 'hide', Luigi's heart sank into his chest as the roar of the 'danger' reverberated through the entire tunnel.

"GROOOOOOH!"

* * *

I don't know whether that Monty Mole was trying to help us or not. But he didn't help us. We were now underground, in a completely bare tunnel, trapped with something that can most likely kill us. Thanks a bundle, Monty.

* * *

"What do we do, Luigi?" Kylie whispered, taking the Monty Mole's advice.

Luigi gave Kylie a harried look. "You're asking me what to do?"

"You're the one who's been in this kingdom for twenty or so years!"

"You're the one with the creepy, inherent knowledge!"

"I only know so much!"

"So do I!"

"GROOOOOOH!"

* * *

I think somewhere along that line of arguing, we forgot that we were supposed to be quiet. I guess that Monty Mole had something going. Because he's probably been living in these tunnels for a while if he hates sun that much, and he's still alive.

* * *

"I think we should just run," Kylie said through clenched teeth.

Luigi nodded. "That's probably the best plan."

And they ran. They ran down the tunnel, not wanting to see what was making the scary roar behind them. Running through the tunnels made Luigi feel like a Monty Mole himself, and he wasn't sure if he liked that feeling. Nonetheless, the alternative, which was being mauled by a giant thing didn't sound so hot either, so he kept on running.

Eventually, Kylie and Luigi finally got out of the sand tunnels, and came to something completely different.

Some sort of underground ruins. They still heard the growling behind them, so with no alternative, they ran into the ancient civilization's remains.

"I'd say...this is World 6...material...so we've made...some progress..." Kylie forced out through pants as they ran.

"I think we've gone far enough for now," Luigi said. "Let's stop for a moment. Are you alright, Kylie?"

"Oh...oh, yeah...I'm fine...Just...just give me...a few..._haah_...a few seconds..." She breathed, before coughing violently. "I'm just...not used...to this...kind...of physical exertion..."

Then she collapsed on the ground and slept.

* * *

That caught me by surprise, Diary. I've counted about seven curveballs so far. The sudden sleeping was number seven. Do you think she has narcolepsy? Maybe...But these ruins...Where are they from? I've never seen them, or anything like them. Do you think Kylie being here caused them? Oh, I've got so many questions about that. And how much craziness do you think Mario and I caused just by existing? The entire concept's a little hard to wrap my head around, but I'll try. Now, I'm just waiting for Kylie to wake up.

* * *

**Fun fact: If you are unconscious for more than two minutes, you are either dead or have a concussion. Luigi was passed out for thirty seconds.**


	11. Crossover

**I know I promised action in the last one, and didn't follow through. I'm sorry. I really thought there would be action that time. Let's just keep it at 'There'll be action soon'. I promise.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 11: Crossover**  
_

Dear Future Kylie...

Like I said earlier, waking up sucks. It sucks even more if you slept out of exhaustion.

* * *

The first thing Kylie's body registered when she gained consciousness was pain. More soreness, but still pain. The second thing she registered was that she was sleeping on her face, a problem she quickly remedied by rolling over. Then she sat up to find, once again, that Luigi had been hovering over her. It bothered her somewhat.

"Um...hey," said Kylie.

Luigi, after staring at her for a few seconds, blinked as if coming out of a trance. "Oh, you're awake. That's good," he said awkwardly. "Do you by any chance recognize where we are?"

Kylie shakily stood up and began to look around. She put her hands on her hips and squinted her eyes, not believing what she was seeing. They were definitely ruins of some kind, mostly made up of beige-brown square bricks. A few had patterns like Mayan paintings on them, but most were just flat faced. Vines raced up and down the walls of the ruins, affirming that it was quite old. And...from what she could judge, there were cannons floating in the air. Just in the air. Floating.

"I don't believe it," she whispered.

"What? What don't you believe?" Luigi asked.

Kylie shook her head. "I think I recognize this place, but...what's it doing in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Tell me what it is!" Luigi said, frustrated.

"I think it's Radish Ruins."

* * *

Radish Ruins was Area 8 from a game called Kirby and the Amazing Mirror for the Game Boy Advance. Most of it did take place underground, but I'm wondering what the heck it's doing in the Mushroom Kingdom. It isn't even in Dream Land, it's in the Mirror World. Is the Mirror World the Mushroom Kingdom? Did I do this? Or was it Luigi and Mario? If this is here, does that mean Kirby's here too? I don't understand!...Ugh...sorry, I'm just...I'm just not going to think about it.

* * *

"Radish Ruins? I've never heard of it," Luigi stated, crossing his arms.

Kylie sighed. "You wouldn't know about it. Just...keep a lookout for any strange enemies. If you see an orange cat-like thing, don't breathe on it. Let's just focus on getting out."

"GROOOOOOH!"

Luigi looked behind him. "Wait, that thing's still on our tail!?"

"Let's go!"

Kylie took off through the ruins, expecting Luigi to follow. Looking back, she was happy to note that he was, but looking back turned out to not be the smartest thing. She was caught off guard by some steps, and her jaw smashed into the stone.

"AAGH!" she cried, clutching her chin. She took her hand to see if she was bleeding, but she wasn't. _Strange, _she thought. _Maybe I have HP?__  
_

"Kylie! Are you alright?" Luigi asked as he caught up to her. "Holy Toledo, what happened to your chin? It's all purple and bruised!"

_Okay, maybe I don't have HP._

"I'm..." she winced. "I'm fine. Let's keep going."

"GROOOOOOH!"

Kylie cringed at the roar coming from behind her. But she got up with Luigi's help, and they dashed further into the ruins, hoping against hope that there would be something there to help them.

* * *

I don't know whether I have a health bar or not. My nervous system definitely worked differently back there. It hurt when I hit it, yes, and it left a mark, but it didn't hurt that much afterwards; I just felt weaker. I guess that's what happens when strength is distributed throughout the body equally. I don't know.

* * *

After a bit more running, they came to a door that led to the interior of the ruins. They had been running 'outside' up until this point; the underground chamber was huge. But now the ruins seemed built into the wall. They had no choice but to enter. Throwing the door open, Luigi and Kylie ran inside. They closed the heavy stone doors in an effort to slow down whatever was chasing them. They turned around and prepared to run.

They came to a fork. "Alright, Kylie," Luigi said. "Left or right?"

"I don't know, the Amazing Mirror was a 2D platformer!"

"What on earth does that mean!?"

"It means I don't know! I don't recognize it this way!"

"Okay...Left!" Luigi yelled, and charged down the hallway. Then he stopped. It came to a dead end.

"Right, then!" Kylie cried, dashing down the other hallway. Then she stopped. Another dead end.

Luigi looked back at the door. "We're trapped."

THUNK.

"GROOOOOOH!"

THUNK.

* * *

Whatever was out there was literally right outside that door. And it was trying to break it down. And the worst part was whatever it was doing was working.

It was working great.

* * *

THUNK. THUNK.

"GROOOOOOH!"

"Luigi!" Kylie yelled, fear creeping into her voice. "Luigi, what do we do? What is that thing? How do we fight it? Luigi!? What is it?"

Luigi grimaced as another THUNK reverberated through the halls. He quickly took another look through the left and right hallways, hoping that there was some sort of a secret passageway. Then he turned back to the door. "We'll have to fight it."

THUNK.

"_Fight it!?_" Kylie screamed. "I don't know how to fight! Luigi!"

"We don't have any other options, Kylie!" Luigi's confident demeanor wavered. "We have to fight it!"

"GROOOOOOH!"

Kylie was beginning to hyperventilate.

_I'm going to die. What is that thing? Thing? Stop the thunking! Please stop! PLEASE! I don't want to fight! Don't make me fight! Fight! No!_

**THUNK.**

**KRRKH.**

"GROOOOOOH!"

Luigi put up his fists defensively. "That door isn't going to hold much longer!" he said, his face contorting into one of grim acceptance.

"Luigi!" Kylie screamed, watching in horror as cracks formed from the impacts that

**THUNK.**

**KRRAAK**

the beast was making.

"GROOOOOOH!"

"LUIGI!"

"Get ready!"

**THUNK**

The door blasted to pieces, shrapnel scattering across the stone floor. Kylie screamed, her eyes closing to shield her face from the debris. When she looked up, she saw what had been chasing them through the underground tunnels. She saw what had been terrorizing her.

"What is that thing!?" Luigi cried.

"Oh my God..."

"**GROOOOOOH!**"

It was Primal Dialga.

* * *

**There's no way I'm escaping this now. Next chapter will definitely have some action. I promise. Ed-boi, I'm gonna dedicate the next chapter to you.**

**Man, I've been looking forward to the first action sequence. They were always a pain to write in NPA since Pokemon have movesets that I had to memorize, write down, look up on Bulbapedia...But Luigi ain't got no movesets. Well, he isn't pinned down to one, anyways. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, guys!**


	12. Long Time Coming

**I hereby dedicate this chapter to the fact that I'm a compulsive liar. HaHA!**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder__  
_**

**_Chapter 12: Long Time Coming_**

Dear Diary...

Today Kylie almost died.

* * *

_The door blasted to pieces, shrapnel scattering across the stone floor. Kylie screamed, her eyes closing to shield her face from the debris. When she looked up, she saw what had been chasing them through the underground tunnels. She saw what had been terrorizing her._

_"What is that thing!?" Luigi cried._

_"Oh my God..."_

_"**GROOOOOOH!**"_

Luigi wasted no time. After realizing the thing was hostile, he quickly jumped up and kicked it in the face with his boot. It recoiled minimally, but didn't seem to do anything serious.

"**GROOOOOOH!**" the giant dragon thing roared, before raising its leg, retaliating with a very similar move to what Luigi had used. Luigi was punted down the left hallway, and was smashed against the far wall.

"Luigi!" Kylie cried, giving him a glance before turning back to the dragon. "That's Primal Dialga! It's a time entity that's been driven mad! It's a steel dragon, so it has really high defenses - AAH!"

She quickly jumped to the side as Dialga tried kicking her the same way it had dealt with Luigi. Growling, its eyes locked onto Kylie.

Luigi quickly got up, and ran back to Kylie's side. "Alright, give me my bag, and I'll see what I have."

"Your bag? You mean the one you're wearing?" Kylie said sarcastically, before screaming as once again, Primal Dialga's foot came crashing down into the ruin floor.

Luigi looked back, and indeed, he had been wearing it. Unfortunately, it was a little misshapen with his prior date with the left hallway wall. Opening it quickly, he left Kylie to dodge attacks temporarily. Smiling, he pulled out a Mr. Softener. He held it up, and it disappeared. No sooner that had happened, than Dialga roared again. He had been softened.

* * *

I...was abnormally lucky to have that Mr. Softener in my bag. It lowered his defense by three levels, so it was pretty useful.

* * *

Despite being softened, Dialga continued trying to hit Kylie, who was dodging his attacks frantically. Eventually, he roared in frustration and a bright flash of light invaded the small tunnel.

"AAAAGGHH!" Luigi heard Kylie screamed in pain.

The light subsided, and Luigi quickly spotted Kylie on the ground, panting, in front of a very angry Dialga. He narrowed his eyes, and jumped up. He landed on the dragon's back, and quickly ran up to his head. He took out his hammer from hammerspace, and smacked Dialga's head from the side. It roared, trying futilely to throw Luigi off. He hung on, using the spires on Dialga's head.

"Get out of the way!" Luigi yelled at Kylie, who was still on the ground, dumbstruck. She quickly came to her senses, though, and scrambled to her feet.

She looked from the smashed door to Luigi on top of Dialga. "Luigi! Try to get it outside!"

"How am I going to do that!?" Luigi yelled.

"Just try!" Kylie replied, running out the door. "Oh, and toss me your hammer!"

"WHAT!?"

"Just do it!"

Reluctantly, Luigi took his hammer and threw it down towards Kylie. She grabbed the handle, and lugged it outside with her. Luigi was left to his own devices with Dialga, and was currently trying to wrench his head-spike-thing towards the exit of the hallway.

Dialga's roar was beginning to get to Luigi. He felt more and more sluggish, as if his movements were delayed somewhat. But he shook it off. Or tried. Dialga _was_ getting closer to the door, so he had that going for him. He tried slapping Dialga to chip his HP down while Dialga was heading out the door, but this backfired. Dialga began going in circles, trying to throw Luigi off, who was hanging on for dear life. He tried to kick Dialga's neck on the other side, to straighten him out. This made him unstable.

Then he fell off.

He hit the ground hard, considering Dialga was seventeen feet tall. Dialga's red eyes glared down at the younger Mario brother, and he raised a flat foot to flatten him. Luigi rolled out of the way, but his hat's brim came very close. The shrapnel from the impact bombarded his face, but he was able to withstand it. He quickly got to his feet and got ready to bolt at any given moment. Dialga and him stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, until Kylie called from outside.

"Alright, Luigi! Bring 'im out!"

Luigi bolted, with Dialga hot on his heels.

He felt the pseudo-outside air hit his face (they were still underground, after all, and he spied Kylie next to the threshold, holding his hammer. She nodded, and began to spin. Luigi was questioning what she was doing, but didn't have time to stop and ask. He kept running, and soon enough, Dialga came stomping through the door.

He was greeted with a Drill Run

Luigi skidded as he heard something he hadn't heard before. A roar of pain. Looking back, his jaw dropped. Kylie was spinning on one foot, holding his hammer. She was switching feet, probably to propel herself faster. She was crashing into Dialga's legs like a pinball between bumpers. Luigi looked at Dialga, hopping from foot to foot.

Luigi's eyes widened when he realized Dialga was losing his balance. He was about to fall over. On top of Kylie.

"Kylie! He's going down! Get out of there!"

"I'll try-y-y-y-y!" She called, spinning faster and faster, the hammer becoming a black blur. Hitting Dialga's back left foot at a specific angle, she rocketed out from under Dialga who was rocking on its feet. It crashed to the ground.

"Kylie, that was amazing! How did you do that?"

"Simple math. Pirouette plus Hammer equals Drill Run," Kylie explained, before frowning. "Well, I guess that isn't actually math...but Drill Run is a Ground Type move. Ground type moves are super effective against Dialga, who is a Steel and Dragon type."

Luigi stared at her, dumbfounded.

"It's complicated stuff. I could explain it to you later if you-"

Then they were both engulfed in a magenta flame.

After disappearing, Luigi and Kylie were left standing there, charred.

"He's not down for the count," Luigi said, grimacing.

"N-nope," Kylie forced out, before toppling to the ground.

Luigi was about to call out her name out of concern again, but decided against it when he saw Dialga charging something in his mouth. He grabbed Kylie, and carried her out of the way of the attack. He didn't take into account that Dialga could just turn his head.

"Ai-hoo-hoo-haa!" Luigi gasped as the seat of his pants caught on fire. "Hot! Hot! Hot!"

He ran to the side of Dialga, where his mouth couldn't reach. He hastily dug through Kylie's pack, looking for some sort of Refreshing Herb to cure his burning behind. He brushed aside 1-Up after 1-Up, looking for those four green leaves that he hungered for so much. He finally saw one, and stuffed it into his mouth. Instantly he felt relief.

Then he realized something. Looking at all the green spotted mushrooms on the ground, and Kylie's unconscious body, and finally, he connected the dots. He picked up a 1-Up Mushroom and fed it to Kylie. Her eyes flitted open, and her first reaction of her revival was to

"PWEH! What in the world did you just put in my mouth!?" she screamed.

"A 1-Up Mushroom, and yes, I know you don't like mushrooms, but it's to revive you, since you-"

Kylie sat up. "You wasted a 1-Up Mushroom?"

"Wasted?"

"Save them for after the battle ended and I wake up! Then you can use the less valuable Super Mushrooms to get HP back up!"

"GROOOOOOH!"

Luigi looked back at Dialga. "I don't think that matters right now, Kylie!"

Kylie stuck her tongue out, and scraped it with her hand, but nodded. "Eegh."

"Pass the hammer, please," Luigi said, careful to stay out of Dialga's line of fire.

"The...hammer?"

"Yes, the hammer."

Kylie raised a shaky finger. "You mean...that hammer?"

Getting worried, Luigi followed her finger to a stick jutting out from under Dialga. "Aw, man..."

Kylie stood up shakily. "Is...is he still softened?"

"I think so," Luigi confirmed.

She sighed. "I guess we're doing this the old fashioned way, then."

"What's...what's the old fashioned way?" Luigi asked.

Kylie raised an eyebrow. "Jump-based combat."

"Right. Let's sneak back behind him and ambush him. He can't attack us there."

"Um, I'm not so-"

But Luigi was running back behind Dialga, ready to strike. It was too bad Dialga struck first. Luigi had the air knocked out of him as Dialga's Iron Tail smashed into his chest.

Luigi's vision began to fade.

* * *

**Is that enough action yet? Don't worry, there's more to come next chapter!**


	13. Pseudo

**Poor Luigi. Poor, poor Luigi. Mushrooms spat into his face, and he ends up knocked out. Now it's Kylie's turn. Will she turn tail and run? Will she unlock some secret power? Will she break down and cry? Will she do all three?...I dunno. I make up most of this stuff as I go.***

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 13: Pseudo**_

_But Luigi was running back behind Dialga, ready to strike. It was too bad Dialga struck first. Luigi had the air knocked out of him as Dialga's Iron Tail smashed into his chest._

_Luigi's vision began to fade._

Kylie watched in horror as Luigi's limp body smashed against a ruins pillar. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"Oh, God. Oh God, oh God, oh God..." Kylie stammered, realizing his body was directly in front of Dialga, who was getting ready to burn him to a crisp. "Luigi!"

Primal Dialga suddenly stopped, and turned its head to look at Kylie, rage in its eyes. It again, began to charge up a Dragon Breath, much to Kylie's chagrin.

"Stop using that!" she yelled, running again to the safe zone on the side of Dialga, where he couldn't reach with his neck or tail. Unfortunately, Dialga realized he couldn't eliminate Kylie, and so decided to eliminate Luigi instead. He turned his head, still charging the Dragon Breath, back to the unconscious plumber.

* * *

I had never been more scared than in that exact moment. I knew what I had to do to keep Luigi alive. I had to fight Primal Dialga. Alone.

* * *

"No!" she yelled, once again getting Dialga's attention. She ran into range, ready to sidestep the Dragon Breath. Unfortunately, Dialga released it nearly immediately, catching her off guard. She was able to get out of the way, but it caught her left hand. While Dialga was still on the ground, breathing heavily from overuse of the move, she ran in front of him, and grabbed Luigi by the wrist. She began to drag him towards the safe zone to the side of Dialga, but by then, Dialga had already recovered and was preparing another attack. By the looks of it, it was another Flash Cannon. Remembering with a grimace how much that had hurt, and taking another look at the unconscious Luigi, she decided to make a sacrifice.

She bolted. _He probably won't feel it anyways..._she thought. _Better him than...me..._

A bright flash of light flew out from behind her, and she knew Dialga had struck. She turned around, and her eyes widened in fear as Primal Dialga began to struggle to his feet. Her breathing grew heavy. If he was able to stand up, he'd crush Luigi. She grimaced, wondering if it was worth it.

* * *

I was wondering if...if I fought Primal Dialga, would I be able to beat him?

* * *

Primal Dialga was up and steady. It was now or never.

"Hey, dragon!" she yelled, putting her hands to the sides of her mouth.

Dialga turned to look at her, his face blank.

"Um...You're so weak, fairies can beat you up!...Wait, no, he's a Steel-"

"GROOOOOOH!" Dialga roared, before charging towards a very frightened Kylie. She got ready to run, but unfortunately for both parties, Dialga's legs weren't completely recovered, and he tripped.

"Aah!" Kylie shrieked, as she sprinted forward, trying to get away from Primal Dialga's metal body that was having a date with the ground. Its head caught her foot, and she was brought down onto the rocky brick.

The Dialga recovered from the impact quickly, and bit hard into Kylie's leg. She gave a scream of pain as Dialga brought his head back up, taking Kylie with him. Dangling from the maw of Primal Dialga was not how Kylie expected to die.

_Wait...he's soft...isn't he? The Mr. Softener!_ she thought as she began swinging back and forth, trying to get momentum. This made Dialga bite harder into her leg, making her cringe, but she kept going through the pain, until she could reach his neck. Winding back, she punched Dialga's neck as hard as she could.

"GROOOOOOH!" Dialga roared, letting Kylie's leg go. Unprepared, she fell to the ground, but rolled on instinct, saving herself from a painful impact. Taking a quick look at her leg, she narrowed her eyes as she saw not a scratch. But she felt much, much weaker overall. She reasoned that if this universe had HP, hers was probably low. She'd have to eat a...a mushroom. Standing up, she looked for her bag. It was way back near the entrance to the ruins, about two hundred metres away.

Dialga was charging up another Flash Cannon, but Kylie didn't care. She took off towards the entrance of the ruins, narrowly escaping the bright flash of light. Getting to her pack, she dug through it, finding only 1-Up Mushrooms. Finally, her eye caught a glint of red. Locking on to it like a hawk, she brought her hand down upon it, bringing it out. One look and she cringed. It was an Ultra Mushroom. They were extremely rare, and she probably didn't need that extreme of a healing item. She began debating whether or not she could keep up the dodging act long enough to beat him, and if so, would there be complimentary healing after the boss battle? Because if there was, and she could, this Ultra Mushroom would be completely wasted. Plus, she hated

"**GROOOOOOH!**"

Wow, Dialga sure was persuasive. Kylie downed the fungus in three bites. Three agonizing bites. This is when Kylie realized something. Dialga got up. Which means the hammer is free. She looked back at where he used to lay, and the hammer was still there. Stealing a look at Primal Dialga, she noted that it wasn't moving, for some reason. This was not normal. Which meant it was not good. She ran over to the hammer, and picked it up by the handle. She began to spin, using inertia to keep the heavy hammerhead up in the air. As she began to spin faster and faster, she began to grow more confident.

Dialga still hadn't moved. Kylie kept spinning. But she was getting dizzy. If she was going to strike, it had to be now. And so she tilted herself, allowing the hammer's momentum to carry her closer and closer to the dragon's body. There was only one problem.

_This was too easy. There's gotta be a twist,_ she thought, before mentally smacking herself in the forehead. _FAMOUS. LAST. WORDS._

True to trope, Kylie carefully looked up to see the sole of Dialga's foot. Frantically using the momentum of the hammer to propel herself out of the situation, she made it out. But not unscathed.

The hammer was hit. The hammer was snapped. The hammer was broken. And Kylie was defenseless.

Taking a look at Luigi to see if he had woken up yet, she was dismayed to see he was still slumped over a pillar.

_Alright,_ Kylie thought. _I guess I'll have to see if I can do it myself._

Stepping out quickly from under Primal Dialga, she looked up, evaluating the best way to bring him down. If he was softened, his defense was lowered. She began to wonder if a pseudo-Fighting type move could be effective. Quickly running through her mind what wasn't effective against Dragons (Electric, starter types) she realized that if she could somehow apply martial arts to her fighting style, she might be able to bring him down.

If only she had been trained. She'd have to fake it and hope it works.

She decided to try a Low Sweep. If she could execute it, considering Dialga was very, very heavy, it would make him trip, and bring him down hard. She ran under Dialga, something she would not do under normal circumstances, and kicked his leg at the lowest point.

Very much to Kylie's surprise, she succeeded in sweeping the leg off balance. Unfortunately, she was directly under him. Thinking quickly, she jumped to the side as Dialga was once again grounded. Having enough of this fight, she stormed up to Primal Dialga's face and began to pummel it with rage filled punches. They might have not been the most accurate or powerful, but there were a lot of them. Dialga kept roaring, though they became weaker and weaker, before its eyes closed.

Kylie stopped, breathing heavily. "I...I beat a Dialga. Wow."

She smiled.

* * *

***Maybe. No promises.**


	14. I Say, Good Show!

**First action sequence done. And...yeah. Now we'll just see where this goes.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 14: I Say, Good Show!**_

Dear Diary...

* * *

Luigi's head pounded from...something. Everything was like a blur to him. He vaguely remembered fighting Dialga, and...something about its tail. Rubbing the back of his head, he got up unsteadily, using the pillar behind him for support.

"Kylie?" he asked weakly. "Are you here?"

"Luigi, you're awake!" she said happily as she ran over to him from Dialga's unconscious body. Stopping in front of the still dizzy plumber, she began to dig into her bag. "Now would be the proper time to use healing items."

"Wouldn't you..." Luigi stuttered sleepily, still trying to chase the fog out of his thought process. "Wouldn't you want to heal _during_ a boss battle?"

"Boss battle?" Kylie said absently. "That was a boss battle?"

"Well, it wasn't a normal battle," Luigi looked up at his askew cap, and straightened it. "Can I have a mushroom now?"

Kylie handed him the bag, staring off into space. Her mouth was moving as if she was talking to herself.

* * *

Maybe she ate something psychotropic. I don't think I packed anything psychotropic, and I don't think I had anything like that in my house, either. Unless she went into the medicine cabinet.

* * *

"Shoot," Kylie whispered to herself. "Well, it's all over now; no use of griping. C'mon, let's get out of here. I need to breathe fresh air again, 'cause I think all this underground air is getting to me."

Luigi couldn't disagree, so they began searching the underground chamber for something they hadn't seen before.

"Hey, Kylie. Do you remember that weird Monty Mole a while ago?" Luigi asked, as he tried pushing and pulling stones on a wall to see if any of them triggered a secret passageway.

"The one who always whispered?"

"Yeah. Do you think he'll be a little less nervous now?" he asked.

Kylie shook her head, though Luigi couldn't see it. "I knew people like that. They always find something to be scared over. Of course, the person...no, people. People I knew, they always found something to be angry about. But they were better at hiding their anger than the mole. The mole's...fear, or uneasiness, or something. Not anger."

Luigi sighed sadly. And here he thought that he had helped somebody. But if the mole was naturally like that, there wasn't much he could do about it.

Kylie's voice once again rang throughout the chamber. "Didja find anything yet?"

"No. I've been looking for secret passages, though. They're usually hidden pretty well."

"Excuse me!" a new voice rang out. "Is anybody down here?"

"Hello!" Luigi yelled back. "Two people!"

"Ah, yes. Unfortunately, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Kylie and Luigi looked at each other from opposite sides of the ruins. "That's what we've been trying to do, sir," Luigi said.

"You're Kolorado!" Kylie exclaimed. "What are you doing down here?"

Luigi looked around, trying to spot who this 'Kolorado' person was. He gave Kylie a pleading glance, and she pointed. He looked, and saw a Koopa wearing a pith helmet and sporting quite a fine mustache.

"I, my dear, am searching for artifacts of any and every kind. So far, I've found absolutely nothing, but I expect my luck to change at any second! Look at the sunny side up, you know! And-" he looked at Luigi, and his eyes widened in recognition. "Mario! What brings you down into the depths of the earth, old bean? Might I say, as well, you look rather striking in green. Makes you look taller."

Luigi scowled. "I'm not Mario. I'm his younger brother, Luigi."

* * *

I _hate_ it when people mistake me for Mario. I am not him. He is not me.

* * *

"Luigi, eh? I think Mario might've mentioned you, actually," Kolorado said, putting a hand to his chin.

Luigi's heart soared for a moment. "Really? What did he tell you?"

"He told me that you write an awful lot in that diary of yours," Kolorado said, smirking.

* * *

Shoot.

* * *

"Now, if you don't mind," Kolorado said as he began to adjust the pack on his back, "I must be getting to my search."

Kylie nodded. "Sure. But do you know the way out of here? Which way did you come in? And...did you come in through a desert?"

"No, actually. I came in through Blackfire Crater. Nasty place, that is. Filled with fire, and black, and the like. You wouldn't want to go there," Kolorado shivered. "Nothing worthwhile. Searched the whole place through and through, I did! I wanted to broaden my horizons, look where no Koopa has looked before! What do I get? A burnt hat and a face full of soot."

"Did...did you say Blackfire Crater?" Luigi stammered.

"Yes, Luigi. Pay attention, please! Say, have either of you two seen any...I don't know...ancient, priceless artifacts anywhere? If you have, I would greatly appreciate you making my job a tad easier."

Kylie, completely ignoring the Koopa's request, blurted out "What's the direction to Blackfire Crater?"

Kolorado was taken aback. He blinked twice, then looked back towards a small tunnel. "It's over that way. But...are you sure you haven't seen any-"

Once again ignoring the request, Kylie sped past him and ran towards the tunnel. Kolorado looked to Luigi for some sort of explanation.

"She's a...tourist. Or something. You'll have to excuse her," Luigi said, chuckling awkwardly. "And, no. We haven't seen any priceless artifacts. Though, if you want a place to start..." Luigi directed him over to the two dead-end hallways where they first encountered Primal Dialga. "The hallways lead to dead ends. I think there might be a secret passageway or something there. All I could find were some broken mirrors."

"I really appreciate you help, chap!" Kolorado said, smiling. "Though...keep your lady friend in check. She seems a feisty one."

Luigi's cheeks ran red. "She's not my lady friend! I'm only helping her out. For...you know...what I said earlier. What I said she was doing."

"Tourism?"

"Yeah, that."

"You're a terrible liar, Luigi," Kolorado put his hands on his hips. "But I won't pry any longer. The tunnel over there does lead to Blackfire Crater. But be careful when you go there, right? I narrowly escaped a horrible monster."

Luigi's blood ran cold. _Another horrible monster? Right after Primal Dialga? I feel faint..._

"Wh-wh-what kind of monster?"

"Terrible thing. It'll suck the life out of you as soon as look at you. I believe the locals called it..."

Luigi leaned forward, expecting a reply.

"...a Fuzzy."

Realizing too late he leaned forward too much, Luigi lost his balance and fell forward. "Oof."

"Luigi! C'mon! We're almost there!" Kylie yelled from across the chamber.

Kolorado adjusted his pith helmet as Luigi got up. "Well, I must get to searching. Very nice to meet you, Mr. Luigi Mario! Safe travels!"

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it," Luigi sighed, as he turned around and walked back to Kylie, who was waiting impatiently at the entrance to the tunnel.

"It's about time you got here. Let's get going! We're homefree!" Kylie cheered, before bounding up the sandy tunnel, with Luigi trailing behind.

* * *

Is this adventure almost over? This seems kind of mean to write down, Diary, but I hope not. I hope I can keep going. This is my time to shine, after all. Or one of them. And call it a gut feeling, Diary, but I don't think it's over yet.

* * *

**A spectacular performance! Or something. I don't know. I just feel obligated to leave some sort of Author's Note at the bottom of the chapter. Ciao!**


	15. On My Own

**Blackfire Crater. You guys have been hearing about it for the past...what? Five chapters or so? Maybe more? Are they really going to find it this time? Well, I only have one thing to say. No promises! ...I swear, I should just change the title of this novel to 'No Promises'. Right now, it's more appropriate than Canon Fodder.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 15: On My Own**_

Dear Future Kylie...

I am not a parkour artist. I learned that the hard way.

* * *

"C'mon, Luigi! We're possibly on the home stretch!" Kylie yelled backwards as she ran as fast as she could up the tunnel.

Luigi, after catching up, was able to match her pace. "Possibly?"

"Well, yeah! We don't know for sure whether the Deus is in Blackfire Crater or not. Speaking of...I feel like I've heard that name before..."

* * *

I pride myself in being very well versed in the content and ways of the internet. FanFiction, Homestuck, Tumblr, and of course, TvTropes. But it bothers me that I can't remember where Blackfire Crater came from. I know it isn't in any Mario game, ever. I don't think it's in any game I've ever played, either. So where...?

* * *

"Blackfire Crater?" Luigi asked. "I don't remember anything of the sort ever being in the Mushroom Kingdom before, so it must be because of your secret knowledge, or something."

Kylie frowned, and looked at Luigi as she slowed her pace. "I'll tell you as soon as I know it's safe."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm...haah...can we slow down a bit?" Kylie asked, as she began to pant. "I'm not fit. I haven't spent the last twenty-five years or so adventuring."

"Neither have I," Luigi mumbled.

Kylie made a face. "Don't feel sorry for yourself-"

"Kylie, stop!"

She stopped walking and turned around. "What is it?"

"Look."

Kylie turned around, and her face fell.

In front of her was a very large pit. There were small pillars rising up from the blackness, reaching from one side to the next. Kylie took a deep breath.

"Platforming. I can't say I wasn't expecting this..." she sighed.

"This?" Luigi scoffed. "This is easy. Watch."

Luigi stepped up to the edge of the cliff. Preparing his stance, he bounded from pillar to pillar, easily jumping across the chasm.

"Hop, step, jump!" he yelled proudly, as he performed a double frontflip and landed on the other side. He stumbled a little, but was otherwise fine. "Alright, Kylie! It's your turn!"

Kylie looked over the chasm. "H-how far d-d-down do you th-thi-think it is?"

"Oh, it's just a bottomless pit. No big deal. Just jump!"

* * *

'Oh, it's just a bottomless pit,' he says. 'No big deal,' he says.

* * *

"I don't know if I can do this, Luigi!" Kylie called, fear creeping into her voice.

Luigi must have realized she was scared. "It's fine, Kylie. You just jump. Visualize where you want to go, and you'll go there."

"That sounds cheesy and not at all applicable!"

"Kylie, you can't do this if you're panicked. You have to calm down."

"Okay...okay," Kylie repeated to herself. _Wait, I hate Fault In Our Stars._ "Alright...alright..."

"Are you calm yet?" Luigi's voice seemed faint, as if coming from the other side of a chasm.

"Alright...alright...alright..." Kylie repeated, backing up. _I'm going to jump. I'm going to jump._

Luigi's voice came again. "Are you calm?"

"Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright." Kylie's breath began to speed up. Speed up. She needed more speed if she was going to make the jump. She backed up further.

"Kylie! Calm down!"

Kylie decided now was far enough. She closed her eyes, and began to run, visualizing the platform she wanted to jump on. "Alrightalrightalrightalright!"

"What are you doing!? Open your eyes!"

Kylie no longer felt ground underneath her. She had jumped. She was flying. Flying. Flying...no. Falling.

Her eyes flitted open. She had missed. And now she fell.

"Kylie!" Luigi yelled.

* * *

'Just jump,' he says.

* * *

**Short chapter on purpose! Ha ha! Don't worry, guys. You'll get one tomorrow.**


	16. Game Over

**Hey, just sayin', I would really appreciate it if you'd review this chapter and future chapters. It doesn't even have to be a positive review, as long as it's constructive. So in layman's terms, it's bad if you say 'your story sucks' but good if you say 'your story sucks because...' and so on.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_  
**

**_Chapter 16: Game Over_**

Dear Diary...

* * *

"Kylie!" Luigi yelled as she disappeared into the inky blackness. He sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. "Why on earth would she close her eyes? When I said visualize...Well, she'll get it next time."

And so he sat, waiting for her to spawn at the far side of the cliff. He waited. And waited. And waited. He began to get worried. She should've regenerated by now. Where was she? Did she run out of lives? Did she forget to save? Maybe that pit wasn't bottomless. Maybe she was exploring whatever was down there.

"Kylie?" Luigi called. "Are you down there? Kylie?"

No response. Either she couldn't hear him, or...she was gone. Luigi, unable to take the reality of the latter, decided to believe the former, and wait.

* * *

Her game isn't over. I know that. She'll be fine. Any minute now she's going to call up to me from down in the pit. Probably asking me to help her get up, or something.

Any second now.

* * *

Luigi looked up from his diary, listening for any sort of voice. When he heard none, he decided to call down himself. Never hurts to try again, he thought. "Kylie! This isn't funny! Where are you? Can you hear me?"

No response.

Luigi began to wonder how many lives he had. Whether he could see if she was down there or not. Taking a deep breath, he jumped, and fell.

And he reappeared right next to his diary, one life less than before. His heart sunk into his chest.

Kylie didn't have any extra lives. She had only gotten here from Earth...she wouldn't have had the opportunity to get any extra lives. Luigi's eyes began to water as he realized what must've happened.

Kylie's game was over.

* * *

Luigi trudged out of the tunnel, his eyes blinking in the daylight. He shielded his vision from the glaring sunlight, and tried to figure out exactly where he was. Looking around, he saw black, fiery ground.

_Blackfire Crater,_ he thought morosely. _I made it._ He looked back at the tunnel with dark eyes. Heaving a large sigh, he began to head back to Toad Town, back to his home. All he wanted to do now was sleep.

Luigi exited from the crater without incident, any attacks or ambushes made against him simply ignored. Enemies waited for him to make the first move, only to realize he was walking away. He didn't look up from the ground very much, only at the sun to make sure he was headed due south.

Deserts, forests and meadows seemed to slip by him as he shuffled through, not speaking to anyone. Finally, he looked up and saw Toad Town in the distance. Luigi walked to his house and unlocked the door. He took off his cap, opened the door, and hung his cap on a hat rack before closing the door behind him. He walked up the stairs, past his brother's bed, to his own. He laid down, not bothering to take off his shirt, his overalls, or his shoes, and slept.

* * *

He woke up in the evening. Getting out of bed, Luigi turned around and folded the covers neatly. He always liked things to be neat.

"Mario, I'm sorry. I didn't have time to make dinner. If you haven't gotten any leftovers, I could make lasagne for you. Your favourite," Luigi called, not sure where Mario was.

He waited a few seconds. Knowing his brother, Luigi didn't expect him to reply verbally. Luigi gave Mario a few minutes to show himself, before getting a little ticked off.

"Mario! Are you here, bro? Hello?" Luigi yelled, as he began to inspect the house. The bedroom, front hall and kitchen were a no-go, so he began to search the rest of the house for his brother.

"Big bro! Are you here? You've got to be back from that Mario Party by now!" he called again, getting more frantic.

* * *

Mario never hides from me. He knows how insecu-

He knows that I get really worri-

He knows that I sometimes have concern for my-

-concern for his safety.

* * *

"MARIO!"

* * *

_End of Part 1_

_Would you like to save your game?_

_-Yes-_

_No_


	17. Comatose

**Part Two of...Two? Four? Two Four Six Oh One? Seventeen-hundred and sixty-twelve point fourteen? I dunno.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 17: Comatose**_

Dear Future Kylie...

Y'know what, who am I kidding? This is a diary.

* * *

"You didn't save, did you?"

Kylie's eyes were closed, and she was very reluctant to open them.

* * *

I think I've mentioned...Diary...how much I hate waking up.

* * *

"Who's there?" she called, not sure where the voice was coming from. Her vision was still very blurry, so she couldn't see a thing. She decided to sit up.

"Open your eyes, miss. Maybe you'll find out!" the voice giggled.

Kylie grunted. "I'm trying to do that." She felt the surface she was on. It felt like a blanket. Maybe she was on a bed? She tried to pry her eyes open for longer than three seconds without having them sting, but it wasn't working very well. So she waited, eyes half shut.

"What are you waiting for, miss?"

Kylie turned her head to approximately where she estimated the voice to be coming from. "Haven't you ever woken up before?"

"...Yes."

"Then you'll - hold on," she interrupted herself when she realized she could probably keep her eyes open now. She succeeded, and began to get her bearings.

She was definitely on a bed. Looking around the room she was in (if it could be called a room), she saw beds lined up against the wall. Like a hospital. In a room where large parts of the wall had fallen out. Looking out of the gaps, she saw that they were on a very high floor of a stone building.

"I see you can keep your eyes open now," the voice said. Kylie turned around and saw Toadette.

"Um...hi," Kylie offered.

The purplish Toad girl smiled. "Hi!"

"...How did I get here?" Kylie asked, a bit unnerved by this girl's attitude. "How did I get on this bed?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Same way everyone else ever does. Just...poof, you're here."

Kylie tilted her head a bit. "Everyone else?"

"Yep. This is where some people who got a Game Over pop up," Toadette said simply.

That statement alone raised a lot of questions. "Wait..._some_ people? Game Over? What about the Underwhere?"

"The Underwhere's where people go when they die. And...I don't know what the criteria is, miss. Just be glad you fit it. And...be glad he fit it, too," she said, pointing towards a person in another bed.

Mario.

Kylie jumped out of bed. "What's he doing here? How long has he been here? Did he say anything?" she asked, rapid-fire as she went hastily to Mario's side.

Toadette trotted behind her. "Same thing you are. Two days or so. No, he's been asleep the entire time. Mind you, he was in a lot worse shape than you are. He should wake up any second, judging by his shape."

"Are you a nurse?" Kylie asked.

"No."

Kylie made a face, then looked at Mario. She began to shake him. "Hey, Mario. Wake up! You've had two days of sleep! Luigi's been-"

She stopped for two reasons. The first was that she remembered Luigi. Where was he? What was...he thought she was dead. She fell down that pit, and he called her name...and now she was here. "Oh, Luigi..."

The second reason she stopped was because Mario sat up.

"Um...hi," Kylie said weakly. Here she was, in the presence of the essence of gaming. Here she was, in the presence of Mario 'Jumpman' Mario...and she was tongue-tied. All she could force out was a strained 'hi'.

What an idiot.

Mario just stared at her. Finally, he spoke. "Luigi?"

_He said something.__ What do I say back?_

"Yeah. I've been with him for the past two days," Kylie tried to explain, before Mario's eyes widened, and she realized what that sounded like. "No, no, not like _that!_ He offered to help me get back home, and..."

Kylie continued to explain her adventure with Luigi thus far, ending with her falling down the bottomless pit. "And after that, I woke up here, and started talking with Toadette...Hey, Toadette? Are...are we alive?"

Toadette seemed oddly...not shocked by the question. "No, I'm pretty sure we're very much alive," she assured, then mumbled "or at least, you are."

Kylie, not seeming to catch that last part, turned back to Mario. "Luigi's probably really worried about you. Where have _you_ been?"

Mario closed his eyes, and put a gloved hand to his chin, then shook his head. He didn't remember.

Kylie sighed. "Well, Luigi's probably looking for both of us. Do you think we should go looking for him, too?"

The plumber nodded enthusiastically. Kylie noted that he didn't talk much.

"Toadette, thank you. I'm not sure _exactly_ what you did, but I'm alive, and I'm pretty sure you had some part to play in that. So thanks," Kylie said.

Toadette nodded. "The door's over there. You'll see a set of stairs on your left. Just go down those, and you'll be on ground floor."

"Um...aren't you coming?" Kylie asked.

Toadette shook her head sadly. "I can't leave this room, miss."

"What?" Kylie asked again in disbelief.

"You heard me. Just...go out there and find Luigi, 'kay? Good luck," Toadette said.

Kylie looked down at the ground, but Mario tugged on her sleeve. He jerked his head to the door, and Kylie reluctantly agreed.

Mario and Kylie walked down the steps and out the door.

* * *

**Yes. Mario speaks. But yes, his vocabulary is very, very limited. I'm only going to give him sparse speaking parts, and those speaking parts will only be what he says in the games. Nothing extensive, either, like 'Thank you so much, for playing my game!' Mainly just one-word phrases.**

**...Comatose? More like...Bromatose...am I right? Right? 'Cause...Mario's a bro? And he was in a comatose state for two days?...Sorry, that was out of line.**


	18. Search Terms

**Don't worry about Luigi, I'm still gonna cover his point of view in the even-numbered chapters. Like the Hardy Boys, remember? I'm probably never going to stray from this format. Ever...say it with me. Maybe. Nooooooo promises! *cheers ring out from the heavens* *roll credits*  
**

**...Man, I really should change the title of this novel.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder/No Promises (?)**_

_**Chapter 18: Search Terms**_

Dear Diary...

Mario's gone. Kylie's gone. I'm all alone, and there's nothing I can do about , Kylie took my best bag and Mario's lasagne is getting cold and there's no way I'll be able to finish both by myself.

So not only is my brother and my companion gone, I'm one bag short and I'll have to make leftovers.

* * *

Luigi sat sadly on his doorstep, tears falling from his eyes. He kept replaying the horrid event in his head, trying to see if there was anything he could've done to save her.

_ Luigi stepped up to the edge of the cliff. Preparing his stance, he bounded from pillar to pillar, easily jumping across the chasm._

_"Hop, step, jump!" he yelled proudly, as he performed a double frontflip and landed on the other side. He stumbled a little, but was otherwise fine. "Alright, Kylie! It's your turn!"_

He could've stayed on her side of the cliff. Help her along.

_Kylie looked over the chasm. "H-how far d-d-down do you th-thi-think it is?"_

_"Oh, it's just a bottomless pit. No big deal. Just jump!"_

What kind of comfort was that?

_Luigi realized she was scared. "It's fine, Kylie. You just jump. Visualize where you want to go, and you'll go there."_

_"That sounds cheesy and not at all applicable!"_

_"Kylie, you can't do this if you're panicked. You have to calm down."_

_"Okay...okay," Kylie whispered. "Alright...alright..."_

_"Are you calm yet?" Luigi asked carefully._

She was scared. He could've done something.

_"Alright...alright...alright..." Kylie repeated, backing up.  
_

_Luigi began to get concerned. She didn't look very relaxed. "Are you calm?"_

_"Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright." Kylie kept backing up, further and further away from the cliff. She was freaking out._

_"Kylie! Calm down!"_

_She stopped backing up, and closed her eyes, before running at the edge of the cliff at top speed. "Alrightalrightalrightalright!"_

No.

_"What are you doing!? Open your eyes!"_

No, no, no!

_Luigi watched helplessly as Kylie drifted further and further from the platform._

No, please! Not again!

_She dropped, like a stone, into the inky blackness, never to be seen again._

"NOOOO!" Luigi yelled at the sky before he realized he had said it out loud. With a chill running over his body, he slowly opened the front door and headed back inside. As soon as the door shut, he heard a thunderclap outside, signifying rain.

He didn't care. He wasn't going back outside anytime soon.

* * *

The funny thing about death, Diary, is that it changes people. At least temporarily. All I wanted to do was sit there, at the kitchen table, for eternity. I didn't feel like I had the energy for anything else.

* * *

_"It's about time you got here. Let's get going! We're homefree!"_

Luigi sat at the kitchen table, head in hands. He wasn't quite sure what to do now.

_"Simple math. Pirouette plus Hammer equals Drill Run," Kylie explained, before frowning. "Well, I guess that isn't actually math...but Drill Run is a Ground Type move. Ground type moves are super effective against Dialga, who is a Steel and Dragon type."_

Mario was missing. Kylie was most likely dead.

_"Don't you think that's a bit overkill?" Kylie asked doubtfully._

_"It's better to be overkill than killed over, or however that saying goes," Luigi replied. "I like to play defensively, and be prepared to run."_

_"From what, giant magnets?"_

_"I resent that."_

So what did he have left? The house?

_"Where am I, and why did you take me from my room? And why are you dressed like Luigi? Are you one of those cosplayers? Those guys always freak me out, so you better not be a cosplayer!"_

Luigi stood up. _No, _he thought. _I'm going to look for Mario._ _But where do I start?_

He went over to the front window and stared at the luminescent Toad Town in the dark rain.

"Maybe someone there knows," he said to himself.

* * *

Rain was never pleasant. It was even less pleasant when you knew that Toads that usually heckled from the streets were doing that same heckling, in their heads, in the dry safety of their homes. Every window the younger Mario brother saw, a Toad face was reflected back at him. Wet and cold, he finally reached his destination. He knocked on the door.

"Fer heaven's sake, I don't want none o' yer Toad Scout cookies!" a voice yelled angrily from inside the house.

Luigi knocked again. "Krus? It's me, Luigi. I need to talk to you about something."

"Looker!? I don't think so! Jes' because I'm a widow, doesnae mean that any old laddie that comes crawlin' up tae my door, callin' themselves a 'looker' will be allowed a look-see!"

Luigi nearly gagged. "No! Lu-i-gi!"

"Oh, sorry! I'll be right over!"

Luigi waited in the rain for another two minutes as the old Toad made her way to the door. It swung open, revealing Krus T., in a robe and slippers. "Take off yer shoes as ye come in, it's pourin' rain out there," she said. "Oh, and lock the door. Ye never know who's lurkin' oot in the streets this time o' night. Ah," she chuckled, "besides you, of course. Now, what's botherin' you?"

"It's Mario. He's missing."

"Again?" she gasped. "That's, what, the third time? Here, I'll make you some coffee. I would offer tea, but I'm fresh out. I've only the kind that you get at SuperStarBucks, and you know what kind o' quality their tea bags are."

As she brewed the coffee, Luigi told Krus T. what he knew. "A few days ago, Mario left for a Mario Party or something. He's usually back by the end of the day. I was out adventuring with Kylie for the last two days, though. When...when I came back, Mario still hadn't come back."

"So, you've been out for three days without comin' back to yer home?" Krus T. asked.

Luigi nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"And you say that Mario isnae back yet?"

"Yes."

"How do ye know that?"

"What?"

Krus T. took a mug, poured some coffee in it and drank from it. "How do ye know that in the time you were gone, he hadnae come back, seen that ye were gone, and went oot lookin' for ye?"

Luigi blinked twice. "I guess I hadn't thought about that."

"Well, thar's yer answer, then. Mario's oot there, in the pourin' rain, lookin' fer his li'l bro. Now, I'd advise ye stay at home, an' wait for him to check back, so it's easier for him tae-" Krus T. looked up from her cup to see her front door wide open and Luigi's shoes gone. She sighed. "Those Mario brothers..." she whispered to herself.

* * *

Don't worry, Mario. I'm coming.

* * *

**So now you know what Luigi's up to. Next day's chapter will come up tomorrow!**


	19. Dystropian

**Back to Kylie and Mario! And I've decided to keep this as Canon Fodder. The reason being that the 'No Promises' motif is only in the A/Ns.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 19: Dystropian  
**_

Dear...Diary, I guess.

When I got out of that weird hospital, I felt like I just stepped into a dystopian young adult novel.

* * *

Ruins of a very modern-looking city towered over the duo. What looked like business and apartment buildings reached towards the sky, getting thinner and thinner as they went. Occasionally, rocks and debris tumbled from lofty heights, down to the streets. Kylie exchanged looks with Mario, and both realized that they had no idea where they were.

This scared Kylie terribly.

"I don't suppose you have any sort of map," Kylie asked weakly. Mario shook his head.

Kylie sighed. She knew this wasn't going to be easy. "Hey, Mario, what's our goal? Where are we going?"

Mario reminded her that they were looking for Luigi.

"Right. He's...probably somewhere near Toad Town. We could go there."

Mario nodded in agreement. And so they went.

Or would've, if they knew which direction Toad Town was in. Kylie stopped for a moment and thought.

* * *

We didn't have a map. Climate judgement wasn't going to be any good, because of the ever-changing continent. So I decided to once again rely on my old friend.

Tropes.

* * *

_Alright..._she thought. _Let's think. Where in regions are wrecked cities? In Partners in Time, Future Toad Town was south of Peach's Castle, and Toad Town was a ruin...but Toad Town is what we're going for...but Peach's Castle was the hub...is Toad Town our hub? And is it a trope? To have ruins south of the hub? In the Amazing Mirror, I think the Radish Ruins were southwest of Rainbow Route..._

"Agh..." Kylie groaned, before looking at Mario. "Honestly, I think our best bet is to go north. If you see any landmarks you can navigate by, tell me, okay?"

Mario nodded. They began walking through the abandoned streets of the nameless city. Unfortunately, the sun was directly overhead, making it impossible (by Kylie's knowledge) to tell which way north was. Mario suggested looking for goods and supplies. Kylie agreed, but reminded him that she already had a surplus of food, after showing him her sack.

"We have a bunch of 1-Ups, but I'm low on healing items. So if you find any of those..."

Mario once again nodded. They set off in separate directions.

Kylie looked up and around, savouring the feeling of being away from that small town in Massachusetts. It was only now that she fully realized that she was not on Earth. She was in the Mushroom Kingdom. With the Mario Bros, and Yoshis, and Toads, and Bowser, and Princess Peach and Princess Daisy, and Goombas and Koopas...and bottomless pits.

She cringed. That was terrifying. She was scared of heights. In fact...she was scared of a lot of things. Shaking her head rapidly to purge herself of any thoughts about bottomless pits, or bottomless sodas, or...bottomless anything. She remembered she was looking for items. Equipment, or clothing.

_Because any clothing we find will automatically fit us, right?_ she thought, chuckling. Coming to an extremely tall building, she looked up at the entrance. There was a faded sign above the grand front doors. Squinting her eyes, she tried to make it out.

_Silph Co._

Kylie's face would've paled, but honestly, she just wasn't surprised anymore. She pried the automatic doors open, and stepped inside.

* * *

Mario strolled through the abandoned streets. Looking for anything of importance, he found two brown-roofed buildings right next to each other. Peeking into the one on the left, he saw nothing of importance. It looked like an empty room, lined with tatami mats. Seeing nothing of interest, he went to the other building.

This one was much more interesting. There were two very creepy-looking statues next to each other. Behind the one on the right was a bright green square. It seemed to be pulsating. Curious, Mario stepped on it. He began spinning rapidly and flew up into the air. He touched down in another room, nearly identical to the one he was in before. Except this time, there were four green squares. Mario looked back at the square he was standing on a few seconds ago. He then looked to his left to see another square. He decided this would be a good square to step on. He did so, and was once again warped. Now he was in a room where the ceiling was caved in at the centre of the room. Walking around the pile of rubble, he noted again that there were four squares. He stepped on the one on the upper left of the room.

After a bit more fooling around with the warp pads, Mario finally came to the centre room. There was some sort of throne. Behind it was a chest. He looked in the chest without delay, and found...overalls. Shrugging, he put them in his inventory. He stepped on a red square in the same room, and came to the entrance again.

* * *

Kylie looked around the lobby of Silph Co. The elevators were blocked off by rubble.

_Figures. Convenient road blocks._ _Oh, well._

She decided to explore a bit. After some inspection, she decided this was the Silph Co. from Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver. _But what is it doing in the Mushroom Kingdom? What is Radish Ruins or Primal Dialga doing in the Mushroom Kingdom? Am I doing this to the Mushroom Kingdom?_

While thinking these thoughts, Kylie stepped on a spherical object and slipped. After crashing to the ground, she rubbed her head, and looked back at what she had tripped on.

Three Pokeballs on the floor. Kylie's heart soared. _I'm going to get starters!_

She grabbed the Pokeballs, and threw them at the ground. They broke - they were empty. Disappointed, Kylie opened the front doors to Silph Co. and stepped outside again.

_Might as well look for Mario. I hope he made off better than I did..._

* * *

Mario had found a convenience store. Looking behind the counter, he found small, spherical objects of many different colours. The only things he recognized was a coil of rope and what seemed to be a small box of Star Pieces. He grabbed the box and poured the contents into his bag, before running out of the shop happily.

He met Kylie on the street. "Hey, Mario. How'd you make out?"

Mario showed her the overalls and the Star Pieces.

"Well, they're better than 1-Ups, I guess. But since I know where we are now, I know which way is north. So...alright, got it. Let's go this way and hope for the best."

* * *

**No, Mario didn't pick up Star Pieces. They were Revives. Non-Pokemon fans, look them up. They bear a striking resemblance to Star Pieces from the Paper Mario series. Also for non-Pokemon fans, they were in Saffron City, in Kanto. Mario was in the Fighting Dojo, then the Psychic Gym, then a Poke Mart.**


	20. Give Me Your Answer, Do

**Hello, once again, Audience! When we left off, Luigi was 'oot in the pourin' rain, looking for his big bro.' So let's get to that.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 20: Give Me Your Answer, Do**_

Dear Diary...

I didn't find Mario today, but I think I came close.

* * *

_Did he say where he was going for the Mario Party? Um..._Luigi strained to remember Mario's parting words. Unfortunately, he remembered Mario didn't give him any. Luigi sighed, disheartened. Opening the door to the library in his home, he looked for the atlases Kylie had used to track down Blackfire Crater. He delicately took the most recent one off the shelf, and looked through it.

Luigi hadn't been to a Mario Party in some time, so he couldn't remember which places suited one. He doubted the party was in Blackfire Crater since he was just there, and there was no evidence of whimsical minigames. Suddenly, a light came on in Luigi's head. Daisy was invited to that party. He could go ask her what happened. Unfortunately, he had no idea where she was. He might have to go ask Peach if she knew where Daisy was. But it was late, and Luigi decided he'd have better luck looking if he was well rested. Besides, he was looking for Mario. It wasn't like he was in a situation he couldn't handle.

He's Mario. Right?

* * *

First thing tomorrow, I'm going to Peach's Castle. I'm going to ask her if she knows where Daisy is. I'm going to find Daisy, find out what happened at that Mario Party, find Mario, and win.

Maybe I should find the Deus, too. Because...I feel like I owe it to Kylie.

* * *

Luigi woke up early, and immediately packed his bag for a light journey, and headed out the door. As he was walking up the path to Peach's Castle, he checked through his bag to make sure he had everything in case something unexpected happened. Mushrooms, nuts, Fire Flowers kept next to the nuts and away from the Mushrooms, a Cloud Flower just in case and a Super Leaf. He was all set. He looked up at Peach's Castle.

In the back of his mind, he was surprised nothing was wrong with it. He half expected it to be attacked by sentient meteors or something. Shaking his head lightly while chuckling to himself, he knocked on the door. After about a minute of waiting, they slowly opened. Luigi stepped inside.

He frowned. The interior was once again unrecognizable. The interior of this castle probably changed as much as the continent's topography. Seeing a few Toads hanging around, he decided to ask which way the throne room was.

"The throne room? Just beyond those big doors over there...say, don't I know you?" the Toad Guard asked.

Luigi cringed, getting ready for whatever this Toad was going to call him.

"Were you part of that huge influx from the BeanBean Kingdom? You have that kind of 'bean' feel about you."

Sighing, Luigi shook his head. "Thank you for your help. I appreciate it," he said monotonously, before heading through the doors the Toad had pointed out.

"HALT! Who goes there?"

"Here we go again..." Luigi whispered to himself. "Luigi Mario. Brother of Mario Mario, the racing champ, top doctor, best astronaut, renowned Smash Brother, number one plumber, golfer, basketball player, soccer athlete, Olympian and all around Saviour of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Luigi?" one guard whispered to the other. "That name ring a bell?"

"No. But he looks too weak-"

Luigi huffed.

The Toad ignored him. "to do any real damage. Why not?"

"What if he annoys Princess Peach?"

"Let her deal with it."

"That's why they pay us the big bucks. You may enter!"

His shoulders feeling a lot heavier than they had when he entered the castle, Luigi came into the throne room. Peach was discussing something with Toadsworth, but looked up when Luigi entered.

"Oh! Luigi! What a surprise! What brings you here?"

"Hi, Peach. I...have some concerns. Mario hasn't come back home since-"

"_Oh, no!_ Mario's missing? We need to send a search party right away! Toadsworth, would you?"

"Certainly, your Highness!" Toadsworth said, before trotting off past the front doors.

Luigi cringed again. "Peach, excuse me when I say that I don't really have that much faith in the Royal Force. But anyways, do you know where Daisy is? Mario was last at a Party with her, and I think she might have some sort of lead."

"Daisy? She's rented out the royal tennis courts for practice. If I remember, she's having practice matches with...Yoshi, I think."

It never ceased to amaze Luigi how much Yoshi could do, considering he was a dinosaur. He'd even lost to Yoshi in some Karting races before. "Thanks, Peach. I'll be looking for Mario, too."

"Um, Luigi?" Peach called as he turned around.

Luigi turned again to face her. "Yes, princess?"

"Do you know if Bowser's been doing anything lately? I know how much you like Vista Hill, so I thought I'd ask you."

"I...last time I checked, the castle was there, but I didn't see any military action. But...that was two days ago."

Peach seemed surprised. "Really? I thought you went there every morning. What happened?"

"I was..." Luigi looked down at the ground sadly. "...preoccupied with something. But...it's over now."

"Is everything okay, Luigi?" Peach asked, concerned.

Luigi looked up with a melancholy smile. "In all honesty, no. But if it makes you feel better, I'll check Bowser's castle after I'm done with Daisy."

"Thank you, Luigi. And good luck."

* * *

Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. For some reason, there's been this rumour going around that she and I are 'sweethearts'. I guess they just think since Mario gets Peach, I get Daisy. But no, we're just friends. Of course, those...influential statues Peach had made for Daisy's birthday on her honorary circuit didn't really help matters. But...of all people to get mistakenly paired with, I think I lucked out with Daisy. I could've gotten...I don't know, Wadaisy, if she even exists.

* * *

"Hyah!"

Even from the stairwell leading to the tennis courts, Daisy made her presence known. The castle had interior and outdoor tennis courts, and since the outdoor one was reserved for actual matches, Luigi had gone to the interior rooms. He stood outside of the court, watching the rally for a while. Considering both Daisy and Yoshi excelled in speed, it was a very fast back and forth. Finally, Daisy caught Yoshi off guard, causing him to dive for the ball. It was a weak hit over the net, setting Daisy up for a smash.

"Yeah!" she cheered, before looking back to see Luigi waving. "Oh, hey, Weegie. What's up?"

Luigi held back the urge to roll his eyes at her nickname. That 'Weegie' was one of the reasons everyone thought they were going out. "That, um...that was a good rally, there. Really, um...fast. Hi, Yoshi," Luigi stuttered, waving weakly at the dinosaur on the other end, who happily returned it.

Another reason everyone thought they were going out was because Luigi always got tongue-tied whenever he spoke to her.

"Thanks. Peach beat me game-love last time, and I swore to myself I wouldn't lose that badly ever again. So I recruited Yoshi here to help me practice. You wanna join? I'm on a roll!"

Luigi shook his head. "Yeah...um, I mean, no. I...came here for s-some other reason. Were...you were at a Mario Party two days ago, weren't you?"

"Mario Party? Weegie, I haven't been to a Mario Party in about three months."

Luigi's eyes widened and his heart sunk. "...You're kidding."

"Yep," Daisy said, before laughing. "Weegie, lighten up! You look like you've seen a ghost! Yeah, I've been to that one. Why?"

After catching his breath and giving Daisy quite the glare, he continued. "So how'd the party end, anyways?"

"Well, it was one of those new 'car parties', so we did that boss minigame at the end. But...we lost. I didn't even know that was possible, actually. Kind of embarrassing."

"You lost? To who?"

"We were in...um...I can't remember the name. But it was one of those haunted castles that doth plague our kingdom with their foul presence. One of those. We fought King Boo, I think. Which made the fact that we lost even stranger. His minigame is puzzle matching," Daisy laughed again. "Puzzle matching, Weegie. And we _lost._ Maybe I should be practicing Mario Party instead of tennis..."

"What happened after the party?" Luigi asked.

Daisy put down her racquet and leaned on it. "There wasn't an afterParty, if that's what you're wondering. Nothing out of the ordinary. We just...went home. Same as the end to every other Mario Party. Of course...there was that one thing..."

"What? What happened?"

"...Mario was...pretty talkative. He was chatting up a lot of people. And let me tell you, I've imagined the day Mario came out of his shell, but that stuff he was saying was pret-ty unusual."

Luigi's interest was piqued. "What kind of stuff was he saying?"

"Well, he tried to flirt with me. He called me Slick. I hope you know, Weegie, that if you want to go out with someone, you do _not _call them Slick. Especially if they take _extra care_ with their _personal hygiene!_" Daisy practically yelled.

"...Slick?" Luigi whispered. "He called you Slick?"

Daisy nodded. "I know, right? But why are you so interested in this party, Weegie?"

"...Mario's missing."

* * *

**PM me if you think you know what's up. DON'T POST IT IN A REVIEW. IT'S SPOILER. Speaking of, review, please!**


	21. ICoD

**Hello once again, Audience! When we left off, Kylie and Mario were in a post-apocalyptic Saffron City!**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_**

**_Chapter 21: ICoD_**

"Okay, north we go," Kylie announced as she and Mario walked through the gate house. She half expected to see more of the Pokemon world when she went though the far door. But when the door swung open, she was faced with the familiar Mushroom Kingdom motif.

_Or so it seems..._she thought carefully._ I don't know what to expect anymore..._

The landscape, although definitely Mushroom Kingdom-y, still reminded Kylie of the kind of landscapes you'd see in The Walking Dead. She looked over her shoulder at the crumbling Saffron City. She was left wondering what caused this, and how far the dystopian environment went on for...and what consequences it had.

"Be on your guard, Mario. I have a bad feeling about this..." Kylie warned. Mario nodded.

They began walking, both of them keeping an eye out in the bleak landscape for any kind of ambush. Kylie shivered. She had never directly played any horror games, so she was out of her element here. The only weapon she had was...her fists, and she knew how people who tried to punch out zombies ended up. Right next to the annoying guy who wouldn't shut up about how zombies didn't exist; six feet under.

"Hey, uh...you wouldn't happen to have any extra weapons, would you?" Kylie asked, weakly.

Mario looked around, then bent down. He picked up a fallen tree branch, then handed it to Kylie with a smirk. Kylie gave him a judging look, but with no other options, begrudgingly accepted the 'weapon'.

* * *

This bites. I don't even have any Earthbound-worthy weapons. I wound up in the Mushroom Kingdom with nothing but my clothes. And they aren't even the Mushroom Kingdom type clothes that boost your stats. Do I even have stats? Anyway, these clothes suck. But...they're the only clothes I had, so I shouldn't gripe. Still, as soon as I get back to Luigi, I'm going shopping, and I'm going to wash this shirt. That Pokemon Center bed was nasty.

* * *

Kylie waved the branch back and forth in her grip. _Maybe I could use it as a whip or something...If anything shows up._

She gave her surroundings another look, and noted again that there was no sign of life. Except Mario, of course. She also noted that the fog was getting thicker. It wasn't Silent Hill level yet, but it was getting close.

"Let's keep going before we get any surprises, Mario," Kylie suggested. Mario once again nodded.

As they kept walking, the fog fluctuated between extreme and light. Kylie wasn't sure what to make of it, or whether to make anything of it at all. She had never seen anything like this before, and this worried her. She had no idea what she was getting into. This scared her. She didn't know where she was, where Luigi was, whether this branch was sufficient protection, whether the fog was poisonous or not, how she was going to get back home, how much her parents will punish her if she got home, why Mario went missing, why she woke up in Saffron City, why Saffron City existed in the Mushroom Kingdom or what other crap she had caused just by existing.

This terrified her.

Because of the tangent in her head, Kylie was now trembling as much as one of the leaves on her branch. Mario didn't seem to notice, as he kept marching happily along through the sickly green grass. The fog was thick now, and gravestones jumped out at the pair from seemingly nowhere.

"Great," Kylie moaned. "Now we're in a graveyard."

Mario waved off her comment and kept going. Kylie would've made another comment, but once again, she went on another tangent, and became petrified all over again.

There was no life. No enemies. No resistance. It was strange. Kylie could not think of a single Mario game where this was the case. Of course, her mind was under considerable stress. But even in these circumstances, she knew progress didn't come this easily. There had to be a catch.

But there wasn't. Sunlight beat down on Kylie's face as the gross fog dissipated. Mario stretched as he looked about him. Kylie was staring blankly at the ground. She didn't feel very good.

_There should've been a catch. There should've been some sort of enemy. Some boss. Even a miniboss! A hazard, any kind of  
_

"*kaf*" Kylie put her fist up to her mouth as she coughed. Something wet hit her fist. Kylie froze.

Slowly, trembling, she brought her fist back from her mouth. It was red.

"Oh, God..." she whispered.

* * *

**Famous Last Words, Kylie. It seems like only a few chapters ago you were scolding Luigi for saying Famous Last Words, and then you just had to go and think them. Good job.**

**Review, please! Thank you! If you have any suggestions or corrections you'd like to make, don't hesitate to tell me. Don't worry about offending me, either. As long as it says exactly what was wrong with the chapter, I don't mind negative reviews. As I said earlier, I hate "Your story sucks" but I like "Your story sucks because..."**

**Bonus for anybody who knows what the chapter name means! I'm hoping for one particular person to know...you know who you are.**


	22. Objective

**When we last left Luigi, he had told Daisy the bad news: Mario Is Missing. By that I mean he's gone, not the game. I probably shouldn't have needlessly capitalized that...Meh. Too late now.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 22: Objective**_

Dear Diary...

Daisy was...understandably concerned. I mean, Mario isn't just another citizen of the Mushroom Kingdom. He's the saviour.

* * *

"What?! He's just gone? But I saw him at the Party!" Daisy exclaimed.

Luigi bit his lower lip. "Actually, Daisy, I'm...I'm not so sure that...was him, so to speak."

Daisy put a hand on her hip. "What does that mean?"

"Well...I'm his brother. I'd know if he was the kind of guy to flirt, or call somebody 'Slick'. And...he wouldn't, um...he wouldn't do that. He barely ever speaks at all," Luigi said quietly.

Daisy huffed. "Well, yeah, I know _that!_ Everybody knows that! But..." she sighed. "...I guess you're right. I never imagined Mario to act like that. So what are you saying? That wasn't him?"

Luigi nodded. "Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. So...what happened during the Party? Anything...y'know, weird?"

Daisy walked over to the windowsill and put her gloves back on. "Yeah, well, now that I know that 'Mario' was phoney...He started acting that way after that one minigame, the one where those Mecha-Koopas chase you through those hallways and you have to choose a door? Mario came in third, and after that he...well, he wasn't him anymore.

"But now that I think about it, Mario stopped talking by the end of the Party. He was acting normal again...well, sort of. I was still sort of suspicious of him. He was still acting kind of sketchy. I think Kamek noticed too, and he went over to talk to him afterwards. Kamek, Weegie. Of all of us, _Kamek _was the one to confront him. So he and Mario talked about something, and...I didn't see either of them for the rest of the evening." Daisy shrugged as she closed the door to the tennis court. Throwing her racquet over her shoulder, she turned to head up the stairs. She motioned for Luigi to follow. "I'm not done with you yet, Weegie. C'mere."

"Do you know where Kamek is now?" Luigi asked as he ran after Daisy, who had already been making her way up the stairs.

Daisy shook her head. "Nah. Haven't seen either Kamek or 'Mario' since the Party. So what are we going to do about it, Weegie?"

Luigi stopped. "We?"

Daisy laughed. "If you think I'm going to just let you go after hearing about intrigue like this, you're sorely mistaken! And don't tell me that you can handle this yourself," she leaned in and smiled wryly. "Because we both know that isn't true."

* * *

It was an offhand comment. It shouldn't have offended me. But...it did. It really did. That was part of the reason I went on this whole adventure with Kylie in the first place. To prove I didn't need help.

* * *

"What do you mean by that?" Luigi asked irritably.

Daisy seemed a bit caught off guard by him. "Well, I'm just saying, that you're a little...unprepared for something like this."

"I'm too weak. That's what you're saying?" Luigi said coldly.

"Well, that's a bit of a harsh way to put it, but-"

Luigi's fists clenched in anger. "You think I can't do this without someone looking after me? You think I can't find Mario by myself? Why does everyone forget I already did it once?!"

Daisy began to back up. "No, I remember, but this is kind of bigger than prancing around a house with the lights off."

_That tears it._ "No. I'm going to find Mario. I'm going to prove to you...to _everyone_ that I'm just as good as him! I don't need anyone's help!"

He stormed up the stairs, past Daisy.

"Luigi, wait, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

But he wasn't listening anymore. He was going to find Mario. He'd show her.

* * *

Maybe I overreacted. I was kind of harsh to Daisy. She only wanted to help, and...she's right. I don't know if I can do it myself. But...I've put my neck out twice for Mario. The first one...well, nobody's proud of that, including me, but...the second time...When I heard Mario was stuck in a haunted mansion, I was petrified. That was the only thing I was scared of. Ghosts. And Mario just _had _to be captured by ghosts. But I did it. I saved him. Barely anyone remembers. And the people who do remember treat it like a joke. I was terrified that entire time. But I came through it. And nobody cares.

I guess Daisy just pushed all the wrong buttons. I'll have to apologize to her later, but for now...

* * *

Luigi stood outside Peach's Castle, still bristling from his conversation with Daisy. He had no idea what to do. He didn't know where to go. But he'd go somewhere. He'd do something.

He'd show her.

Luigi, red in the face, turned back to his house to plan his next move.

After a bit of looking through the atlases, he realized two things.

One, his subscription for the newest atlases had run out, since there should have been a new edition this week.

Two, he'd have to go talk to Daisy again if he wanted to know where this fake Mario was.

With a sigh, he looked out his window. He saw Daisy there, in his front yard, waiting for him. He closed the curtain and smiled lightly. She probably was really sorry. But what she said still stuck out in his head.

He opened the door.

"Luigi, first off, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you," Daisy said, looking down.

Luigi held up his hand. "It's fine. I know. But I also know you meant what you said. You think I can't do this without help. And that's why I have to do this. There are so many people out there that think the same way you did. And I have to prove them wrong."

Daisy nodded. "I get it. But I have to help somehow. I can't just sit idly by while one of you strapping fellas go on another adventure. I have something to prove, too, ya know."

_That's right,_ Luigi thought. _She hasn't had that many adventures, either._

"Look. If it makes you feel better, I won't follow you. But let me help. There has to be something I can do," Daisy offered.

Luigi nodded. "Well, I've been looking for Mario. Do you know anything about where Mario went after the Mecha-Koopa game?"

Daisy shook her head. "No, sorry. Though...I could try to find Kamek. He might know something."

"B-but he's one of Bowser's minions!" Luigi protested.

Daisy shrugged. "I'm not dumb, Weegie. But he was legitimately concerned for Mario. Call me crazy, but I think either he or Bowser himself is concerned for Mario's safety. In all probability, though, it's probably just that Bowser wants to be the one to take him down."

"Well, whatever the case is," Luigi said, "he wants to find Mario. So he would probably want to help. So I could go after Mario, and you could go see Kamek."

"Hold on, why do _you_ get to find Mario?" Daisy asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"He's my brother. He's looking for me, too. I'll try to find 'Mario', too. We both will."

Daisy hesitated for a minute, then nodded. "Alright. Sounds like a plan."

Suddenly, Luigi realized something. Peach had asked him to check the status of Bowser's Castle. "I've just gotta do something first."

"What?" Daisy asked.

Luigi began to walk towards Vista Hill. "Peach asked me to tell her how Bowser's Castle was doing. And besides, Kamek's probably there anyways."

Daisy and Luigi arrived at Vista Hill. Luigi turned, and his throat tensed up.

Bowser's Castle was on fire.

* * *

**I don't know how much suspense I'm giving now. But I guess you could wonder who put it on fire, among other things. I really enjoy writing Daisy, but don't worry. I'm not going to add a third perspective to this story.**

**Maybe. No promises.**


	23. Psycho

**Hey, guys. I hate to be the bearer of bad news...**

**I hope I didn't freak too many of you out there. But Canon Fodder is going to be on hiatus for a week while I'm away from my laptop. It'll be back Saturday. So...I guess the last A/N of this chapter will be my final words to you for a week. I'll think about what they should be through the chapter...it'll be good.**

**Of course, for those of you who are reading this laterally, this doesn't matter to you. In fact, this is a reminder that at one point, this novel wasn't finished. And there were people that had to wait 24 hours to read the next chapter, instead of just clicking the 'Next' button! You kids don't know how good you have it!**

**...kids these days...**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 23: Psycho**_

Kylie stared at the red stuff on her fist. "Oh my God. Mario!" she cried. Mario stopped, and turned around. "Look, I'm coughing up blood!"

Mario walked up to her, and narrowed his eyes as she shoved her fist in his face. Without making contact, of course. He scrutinized the surface of her hand, before scoffing, waving her off, and walking to the north.

Kylie's eyes went wide in shock. He didn't care!? She had just coughed up _blood!_

"Mario! I'm getting really, really sick! I think-" she stopped to cough violently. "I-I think it was the fog! It's poisonous! You should check your pulse, too! I...I think mine's slowing down..."

Mario, again, scoffed, and kept walking.

Kylie's breathing began to get heavy, but she decided to brush it off for now. To ignore it until she could get proper medical attention. She wiped off the stuff on her hand, and kept walking.

They were back in meadows. _P__robably World 1 material_, Kylie thought, before coughing again. Mario turned around and gave her a look.

* * *

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, literally (and I do mean literally) _dying_ and Mario gives me a look that says 'cut it out already'! I can't believe him!

* * *

Kylie returned the glare, and they kept walking, looking for some sort of civilization. So far, the horizon looked bleak. There was just generic meadow as far as she could see. She groaned, before realizing her throat hurt now.

_What did that fog _do_ to me? _Kylie thought, rubbing her throat. _I need help!_ _But..._

She looked at the older Mario brother, a few feet ahead of her. _He isn't going to do anything about it...and I don't have my bag.__  
_

She frowned. This was a meadow. There wasn't going to be first aid just hanging around a random meadow (hopefully) south of Toad Town...

...Unless...

She looked up and saw them. ? Blocks. Just...hanging there, about two and a half feet above her head.

"I know what I have to do," Kylie whispered to herself, partly to be dramatic, and partly to save her burning throat.

Bending her knees, she braced herself, put her arm up in a fist, and jumped.

She didn't even come close. She'd have to ask Mario again. She just hoped he'd be a bit more helpful.

"Um, Mario?" Kylie asked quietly.

Mario turned around, looking a bit less caustic than he had a few minutes before.

"Could you help me with these?" she asked, pointing up at the ? Blocks above her.

Mario looked up to where she was pointing, then further up. Finally, he looked back at her and crossed his arms. He huffed, then turned around again.

Kylie could only stand there, jaw agape. She didn't know Mario that well, but he would not leave a ? Block behind, especially if he thought they might've been special. Reluctantly, she looked back over her shoulder at the ? Block, then slowly trudged after Mario.

She coughed, and rubbed her throat. Why wouldn't he listen?

* * *

I was dying. Mario didn't care. Maybe he thought I was fine. Maybe he thought it could wait until we get to an Inn. Maybe he didn't know what Poisoned meant. But whatever it was, he didn't care. I needed to take matters into my own hands.

* * *

Kylie stopped walking. She looked back at the ? Blocks. She didn't see them anymore.

_Strange, _she thought. _I didn't think we were going that fast..._

She looked around for more, but couldn't find any. But she did start seeing paper-thin bushes. Maybe these had things behind him. Bending down, she began to shake them. Or she tried. But she just...couldn't get...a good grip!

Mario once again stopped, then bent down beside her. She pointed to the bush. "I was trying to shake it, but it keeps slipping from my...grip..."

She looked at her hands, and her eyes widened in horror. They were getting splotchy. There were very large patches of red. Her skin was peeling. Any kind of touch stung. Mario, again, instead of caring, just gave Kylie a long look. He seemed to be waiting for her to collect herself.

"Do you not see this!?" Kylie yelled, showing him her hands.

Mario simply stared at the hands, then her. Then he began to take his gloves off.

_Is...is he infected, too?_ Kylie wondered, as she watched him.

To her dismay, when she saw his palm, it was normal. He held it next to her palm, and nodded slowly, giving her a patronizing look.

She frowned. "Is there nothing I can do to convince you!? I'm-" she stopped once again to cough, followed by a fire being ignited in her throat. "I'm dying..." she whispered hoarsely.

Mario shook his head. He pointed at her, then twirled his finger beside his head.

He just called her crazy.

She shook her head slowly, a look of utter disbelief in her eyes. She turned and ran, hot tears coming from her eyes.

Before she tripped over a tentacle.

She looked back and saw a giant squid.

"What the heck!? These exist!?" she screamed.

* * *

It was a squid. A _squid._ Not a Blooper, not a Metroid, not even an octopus villager! This was a real Earth giant squid!

* * *

"Oi, that ain't a nice thing ta say to your boyfriend!" the squid said indignantly, while growing a ninth tentacle.

"Wh...what?! Boyfriend?!" she yelled, as the clouds began to come lower and take very large bites out of the squid.

"I always loved you, Kooper!" the squid yelled before being completely consumed by the clouds. The same clouds that then proceeded to explode. Into fireworks. Shaped like anvils.

Kylie couldn't concentrate. Her throat burned, her hand burned, her head was spinning, she was finding it hard to breathe, and with all this mayhem happening in front of her, she couldn't take it. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she passed out.

* * *

Hallucinations suck, Diary. Especially when paired with the Placebo Effect. It really sucks. Royally.

* * *

**Okay! Last words are...um...**

**Rotisserie, elaborate, Cesium, plastic explosives, KTHXBAI.**


	24. Back On Track

**Alright! I'm back from my one-week hiatus, and ready to keep the story going! I've...been dreading this chapter. But the best way to deal with something like this is to tackle it head on! Right?**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 24: Back On Track**_

Luigi and Daisy both gaped at the sight in front of them. Bowser's Castle was on fire. When he thought about it, it wasn't that hard to imagine, considering the usual design of his castles had molten lava and floating fireballs literally everywhere, but it still caught the pair by surprise.

"You know what's funny?" Daisy chuckled lightly, uncertainty evident in her voice. "I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing."

Luigi frowned. He tried to think of similar situations, like Kylie would have done. He wasn't exactly sure where this would get him, but he didn't have much else to go on. The first thing that came to mind was the last time Bowser was defeated by something other than Mario. That time, there was a group that was bent on destroying every world ever. He shuddered, remembering the sharp pain of the Floro Sprout on his head.

_Okay, _he thought. _The last time something like this happened, something really bad happened too. But does that mean the same thing?...Agh...Kylie would know...Oh, Kylie..._

"Yo, Luigi! You there?" Daisy asked, waving her hand in front of his face. Luigi blinked, realizing he had been silent for quite a while.

"Yeah, sorry," Luigi mumbled an apology.

"So, boss, what do we do?" Daisy asked, directing her gaze back at the flaming fortress on the horizon.

"Um..." Luigi put a gloved hand to his chin. "Well, I need to find Mario. That's my number one priority. And Kamek's yours..."

"I could probably go to the castle," Daisy interrupted. "See if Kamek's still there. Who knows, maybe he actually started it 'cause he saw the error of his ways. He...did seem kind of, well, sentient for one of Bowser's top minions."

"Are you sure? It's...kind of hot up there," Luigi said.

Daisy put her hands on her hips. "Remember that time I beat you in Grumble Volcano? I'm pretty sure I can handle a bit of fire. Besides, it'll probably have died down by the time I get there."

Luigi, once again, frowned. She wasn't his girlfriend, but he still didn't like the idea of sending a princess to Bowser's Castle, especially when it was in this state. But he stopped, and realized that she was in the same position as him. _How can she prove herself if I hold her back? She's smart...and pretty athletic, too..._

"If you think you can handle it, Daisy," Luigi said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes, "then who am I to stop you? Just...be careful, okay?"

"Don't sweat it, Weegie!" Daisy said, smirking. "Oh, but...we've got to have some sort of way to rendezvous. I mean, if I find out something important from Kamek when I find him, how will I tell you?"

Luigi thought for a moment. "How about we meet back here after a set amount of time?"

"Three days?" Daisy suggested.

Luigi shrugged. "Alright. I'll have to plan a bit, but I should be able to do it. But if I don't find anything, don't chastise me. You know where you're going."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Weegie," Daisy said, smirking. "If I'm not back, it means I'm in trouble, 'kay? Alright, well, I'm off! See ya in a few days!"

With that, she ran back down the hill, on the road to Bowser's castle. Luigi, after watching her fading form for a while, turned back to his house. On the way, he began to think.

* * *

I don't know if Kylie's dead, Diary. I just...have this gut feeling. But...where would she be? She fell...I saw her. And she didn't save her game. At least, I didn't see her. But if she's still alive...where could she be? My instinct says where she last saved, but...I don't remember saving when I was on Earth. It...it was such a long time ago, Diary. I barely remember anything from Earth. But I don't think it was possible to save your game.

But...I've never heard a case of someone dying when their game wasn't saved...Except for bad guys. Where do bad guys go when they die? The first time Mario and I defeated Fawful, he disappeared, but he came back to invade Peach's Castle again about a year later...Does that mean they don't disappear forever?

Frankly, Diary, this is hurting my head. I'm just going to try to find Mario and...hopefully I'll find Kylie too.

* * *

Closing his diary, Luigi looked one last time at the atlas he had been studying at the same time. The new shipment had come in sometime when he was at Peach's Castle. But there was a lot of fishy stuff in the region. Stuff he had never seen before. There was a new city. Well, new didn't really describe it. The atlas said it was abandoned, which Luigi thought strange. If a city was new, how could it be abandoned?

The city didn't have a name, because an exploration team hadn't been sent yet to ascertain the geography and name the region yet. But looking at the city from a top down view, Luigi saw that the architecture was like nothing he had ever seen in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was odd. Which meant...

* * *

_"Y'see, the dimensions are very precariously balanced. As is common sense, everything that is made in a dimension belongs in that dimension. And if somethin' from one dimension crosses into another, things start to go wrong. F'rinstance, say that there's a lad from dimension A, and he crosses o'er to dimension B. Now, since he doesnae belong in dimension B, things in dimension B start to go wrong. Things like...ah...more natural disasters like earthquakes and fissures, certain people losing a sense of right or wrong, and in extreme cases, entire continents changing their structure. This is all because that lad from dimension A isn'nae supposed to be in dimension B."_

* * *

"Kylie!"

Luigi slapped the book closed, grabbed his diary, hastily packed a bag, and dashed south towards the city, filled with new determination and new hope.

* * *

Daisy stared up at the threshold to Bowser's Castle. She had gotten there faster than expected, and like she had predicted, the fire was long gone. Unfortunately, so were nearly all the minions. Stepping through the door, she hoped Kamek was still around.

* * *

**Hope you're satisfied! Now...depending on my mood tomorrow, I might introduce a concept my _No Pok__éballs Allowed _readers: the Bonus Chapter! I dunno, I might. Until then, live long and maybe don't die!**


	25. The Art of Passing Time

**A cookie goes to anybody who can spot where I got the inspiration for the chapter title!**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 25: The Art of Passing Time**_

Kylie rubbed her eyes groggily, trying to lift her head from the soft thing it was currently resting on. This turned out to be a bad idea.

"G-gah!" she gasped, clutching her neck as it groaned in protest to her movement. After trying futilely to massage the pain out of her neck, the opened her eyes, and once again was greeted with the ceiling of a hospital. This one, however, seemed a lot better taken care of than the Pokémon Center in Saffron City. For one thing, she could see the harsh glow of fluorescent lights somewhere out of her vision. She didn't want to risk another jolt of pain by divining her surroundings, so she just tried to sort out her thoughts.

_Okay...So we went through that graveyard, through the fog, and I thought it was poisonous or something since we didn't see anything within the graveyard itself. I thought there was some sort of catch. And then I coughed up blood...right?_

Carefully, she lifted up her arm. Fighting through the aching, she looked at her fist. It was clean. She scrutinized it for any sign of blood.

_Was it blood? It didn't...feel like blood..._

She shook her head, again forgetting about the cramped state her neck was in. After reeling from the initial pain, and after mentally complaining about the general discomfort, she went back to thinking.

_Then my throat started hurting, and Mario ignored me._ _And then I saw those Mystery Blocks...And then...Squid._

After about three more minutes of sitting, she tried to sit up again. Slowly this time, she hoisted herself up into a sitting position. Now she was able to get a good look at the room she was in.

She didn't recognize it. But it was civilized, so she had that. She seemed to be in one of those rooms that has a curtain running down the middle, separating two patients. She gingerly turned to look at the curtain, wondering if anybody was on the other side. Other than that, she couldn't see much. The beige curtain pretty much surrounded her, making it impossible to see the rest of the room. Other than the nearly blinding light coming from the lamps above her, she could see a bit of natural light coming from her left, on the potential mystery patient's side of the room. So there was a window. She decided to try testing out her voice.

"Hello? Is anybody out there? Mario?" she called, surprised that her throat was completely healed. She frowned when she didn't get a response.

_I'm so bored...__somebody entertain me..._Looking to her right, she saw a machine. It was switched off. Kylie reasoned it must be some sort of medical precautionary measure. Right now, though, it was serving as a bedside table. Her bag was on it, and from the looks of it, nothing had been removed. The cramped feeling in her arms had died down, so she rolled over, reaching for the bag. She grasped one of the handles, before dragging it onto the bed with her. Looking through it, she found something.

Her diary.

_Yes!_ she thought, and took the pen out of the spine.

* * *

I awoke in a hospital bed today. And...that's usually a bad thing, but it's a step up from what I fell asleep to, so that's good. Speaking of which, is this day three or four of me being in the Mushroom Kingdom? Or...is it more? I mean, I don't know how long I was gone when I...fell down that pit.

I wonder if I'm eighteen yet.

So. After getting out of the graveyard, some crazy stuff started happening, future me. Or diary. I don't know, I haven't decided what to call you yet. I...fell asleep listening to a squid confess his love to me. I think. He said 'Kooper', and he was currently being eaten by clouds, so I wasn't sure whether he was talking to me or not. Or whether he was talking.

I think that fog was poisonous. Or psychotropic. I'm not actually sure what that word means. I heard it on an episode of _Daria_ and it was referring to people who went crazy. And I'm pretty sure I went crazy back there. Either that, or the Mushroom Kingdom is a lot more messed up than I thought it was._  
_

Is Luigi out there looking for me? Is he still at that cave? What does he think happened to me, anyways? I just kind of...blipped out of existence as far as he was concerned. And...I feel kind of guilty, diary. Or Kylie. I don't think I've been really thinking about him much. Or as much as I should've been. Or should be. Is he still down there at that pit, waiting for me?...Maybe he jumped down the pit after me.

What _did_ happen when I went down that pit? Why did I end up in a Pokémon Center? I wasn't anywhere near there...right? Was it a portal? Or

* * *

Kylie stopped. Something occurred to her. They didn't mention it much within the main games, but the Mario RPGs stated it from time to time. Saving your game. It was obviously a mechanic in this world. Of course, she didn't know how it applied to her yet, but...

* * *

Maybe this 'Save' thing holds water. It might explain why I ended up in the Pokémon Center. Or not. I don't know, Diary. Kylie. BLECK.

...Speaking of 'bleck's, actually...they mentioned saving your game in Super Paper Mario, didn't they? And...what happens when your game is over? At least...in the Mario universe, or whatever universe that game took place in. It was the Underwhere, wasn't it? So why didn't I end up there? I mean, if you never save, and you end your game, you get a game over...

What if I did save? Oh...Ohh!

I remember something! I was playing LeafGreen the night before I came here! And..._Saffron City!_ I saved in the Saffron City Pokémon Center! That's why I ended up there!

Right! I got that solved...

So...what now?

...

Nice weather we're hav

* * *

Kylie once again stopped writing, and flopped back on her pillow. "_Ughh..._So boooored..."

"Oh! Mario, I think she's awake, by boogity!"

Kylie's smile from hearing a voice faded instantly. _Oh, no._

* * *

**Kudos to anyone who knows who the 'doctor' is. KK, see ya!**


	26. BONUS: Pushing Up Daisies

**Okay, back to Luigi...PSYCHE! BONUS CHAPTER TIME! HAHAHA!**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**BONUS CHAPTER: Pushing Up Daisies**_

Daisy wiped her brow. Bowser's Castle was singed to say the least, nearly decimated to say the most. She'd never seen this rendition of the castle before, but she could tell that what little wood she could find was not supposed to be singed black. She could also tell it wasn't supposed to be this deserted. There were still fireballs jumping from the lava, spinning flames jutting out from blocks, spikes, the whole works. But there wasn't a single sign of life to be found.

"Maybe Kamek isn't here," she said to herself. "Is anyone?"

As she made her way through Bowser's Castle, she kept her eyes out for...something. Evidence that this used to be a very advanced military base. Hopefully, Kamek was here too. The charred stone cracked underneath her feet as she made her way forward through the castle, into the throne room. The platforming was hard, considering the decay the castle was going through, but she was able to take her time due to no enemies being there. After a long while, she came to two bright red doors, lined with fabric and gold. The throne room.

She grabbed the two rings, and threw the doors open. "Hello?" she called again. No answer. Gingerly, minding her step, Daisy made her way down the hallway to the throne room.

"Help me!" a voice called near the end of the hallway.

_This changes things,_ she thought as she stopped minding her step and started sprinting. There was someone alive here.

Skidding to a stop at the edge of the lava pit (where the bridge usually was), Daisy looked around for the source of the distress call.

"Who's there? Help me! And hurry up!" a small voice commanded. It was coming down from the lava pit. Peeking over the edge, Daisy saw Bowser Jr., standing on a small plateau of loose bricks jutting from the wall.

"Aw, great, it's one of the princesses. I'm doomed!"

Daisy gaped. Here she was, ready to save him, and she was insulting her because she was royalty. Either that or because she was a girl. Maybe both. "Excuse me for thinking about saving your life, you twerp!" she said angrily.

"...So are you going to save my life or not?" the child said after a pause.

Daisy crossed her arms. "I don't know anymore. What you said was pretty rude."

"Gah! I knew it!" Bowser Jr. yelled, exasperated. "You good guys! Willing to let a poor, defenseless, little kid fall to his painful, fiery death because you thought something he said was pretty rude!"

Daisy sighed. He was right. She couldn't let him burn in lava just because she was offended. He was a kid. She reached down to give Bowser Jr. a way up. "Here, grab my hand," she said reluctantly.

"I can't reach it," he replied bluntly.

"Then jump."

"Are you crazy? I'm not doing that! You come down lower!"

Daisy rolled her eyes. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. "I would, but then I'd fall into the lava-"

"That'd be funny!"

"-and you'd have nobody to save you."

Bowser Jr. was silent. Suddenly he scowled. "Fine. Stop whining about it." He bent down, then jumped. Daisy stretched her arm out, and held back a cry as she felt Bowser Jr.'s claws dig into her wrist.

"Pull me up!" he commanded.

"What's the magic word?" Daisy chided through gritted teeth.

"Now!"

Daisy groaned, but said nothing. After a bit of pulling, Bowser Jr. was on the edge.

"What do you say to me for saving your life?" Daisy said, wiping her brow.

"It wasn't fast enough!"

_Why do I even try?_ She thought, throwing her hands up. "Okay, look. I have one question for you, and you owe it to me for not leaving you to die on that platform."

"Why should I listen to you?" Bowser Jr. asked indignantly.

"I saved your life," Daisy growled through gritted teeth. "And you're small enough for me to pick up and throw back into that pit."

Bowser Jr.'s eyes widened in fear. Instantly, Daisy regretted it. This was a kid! An extremely bratty, frustrating kid, but still a kid! And she had threatened to kill him!

"What's your question?" Bowser Jr. said slowly.

She didn't expect that. For one moment, Daisy forgot why she was here. But then she remembered.

"Do you know where Kamek is, where any of your minions went, or how the castle lit on fire?"

"That's three questions."

"Junior..."

"Okay, fine! The army ran away as soon as the fire started. I think Dad and I were the only ones that stayed. The castle just...FWOOF," he yelled, raising his arms up to accent his point. "I...don't know where Dad is right now. Or Kamek."

Daisy sighed. This was a waste of time. "Alright, I'm leaving...wait, you don't know where Bowser is?"

"Um...yeah. I literally just said that," Bowser Jr. said slowly.

Daisy turned back around to face the child. "How can you not know where he is? You were with him!"

"No, I wasn't. He was in another room, I think. I just know he stayed."

"How?" Daisy asked.

Bowser Jr. spit a small whiff of fire from his mouth. "King Bowser never runs from danger! He would never abandon his troops, even if his troops abandoned him!" he said proudly.

Daisy looked at the little kid. His father was gone. He was living on faith that his father didn't turn tail and run like the rest of the army. _Poor kid,_ she thought sympathetically. _Bowser might even be dead. Who knows where he'll turn up?_

"What're you lookin' at, lady?" he asked, squinting his eyes.

Daisy shook her head. "Nothing. I'm, uh, going to leave now. Bye."

She turned to walk down the hallway towards the big red doors. She heard the pitter of feet behind her. Turning around, she saw Bowser Jr. following her.

"Um...what are you doing?" she asked uncertainly.

"What does it look like?" he replied.

Daisy shook her head. "You're not coming with me."

"Aww, why _not?_" he whined.

"First, you're annoying. Second, I'm going to be doing some dangerous stuff, probably. You'd get hurt."

"First, no I'm not. I'm awesome. Second, a-doy? I just survived a burning castle. I think I can survive as much as a _princess _can."

"Third, you're rude."

Bowser Jr. locked eyes with Daisy angrily. "It's rude to call people rude!"

"It's rude to say that I'm weak just because I'm a princess!"

Bowser Jr. crossed his arms. "I never!"

"You implied it!" she retorted. "I'm leaving!"

Finally coming up to the red doors, she threw them open carelessly, then began the long walk out of the castle. Coming to the castle gates, she looked back at the castle one last time.

And saw Bowser Jr. right behind her.

"I'm not spending another night alone, lady," Bowser Jr. stated.

Daisy put her hands to her face in defeat. "Alright, fine. But only if you behave yourself. And talk very, very little. And stop calling me 'lady' or 'princess'."

"You got it, chick!" he said.

"_Daisy,_" she growled.

_Bowser Jr. joined your party!_

"For...now..." she said, grimacing.

* * *

**By the way, the last chapter was actually only about 20 words shorter than the chapter before it. 'The Art of Passing Time' just had less dialogue, so the paragraph was more compressed. For most chapters I have a 1,000 word minimum. This has been...RANDOM FACTS WITH PIKACHU. "Pika!"**


	27. Just Give Me A Reason

**So the one before this one was a Bonus Chapter. But sort of unlike the ones in NPA, this one is more apparently filler. I had to figure out what to do with Luigi, so that's why that chapter replaced Luigi's chapter. So there'll be two instances when I use Bonus Chapters. One, when something happens that I can't cover in Kylie or Luigi's perspective (something not completely necessary to the story, hence 'Bonus') or for stalling when I don't know what to do with someone. How ironic is it that I can figure out what to do with one character on the spot instead of a character I've been doing for like, fifteen chapters?**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 27: Just Give Me A Reason**_

Heaving a sigh, Kylie watched with suddenly tired eyes as Mario walked into the room, followed by...Toadbert.

_Why him?_ she asked herself. _Why did it have to be him?_

"Hello! How are you feeling now? Mario tells me you took quite a fall, by boogity!"

Kylie cringed. She just found him so...annoying. It wasn't even his little catchphrase, either. Toadbert just...rubbed her the wrong way. "Um...yeah. I think I was hallucinating."

"You were walking through some fog, right? Would you mind telling me what happened?"

"Alright. We were walking through some weird graveyard, and this fog showed up. I thought it was poisonous, and because of that, and hallucinations, I thought I was dying. My throat hurt, it looked like I was coughing up blood, and I started seeing things. And then I passed out. And woke up here."

"Okay, okay...The Royal Guard sent down some researchers to...um...research that the city that just popped up south of the graveyard you were talking about. The fog is interestingly hallucinogenic. Or, at least, that's what they told us."

Kylie nodded absently. She had figured as much. But something struck her as odd. "How did I get here?"

"Mario brought you in. I presume he carried you all this way," Toadbert said, looking admirably at Mario.

Mario struck a pose and gave him a thumbs-up.

"And...where are my clothes?" she asked, looking at the hospital gown she had on.

Toadbert smiled awkwardly. "We had to wash them. They were dirty after Mario dragged...after you fell, probably."

Mario received a steely look from Kylie. "And...where exactly is this hospital?"

"It's in Toad Town! Just north of where you fainted!"

* * *

The first thing I thought was "Yeah! I was right! Saffron was just south of Toad Town!" The second things was "Toad Town." The third was "Luigi". The fourth was "Toadbert is super annoying".

* * *

"Toad Town?" Kylie asked, somewhat to herself. "...Toad Town! I need to go!"

Toadbert put his hands up as Kylie started to get out of her hospital bed. "Whoa there, buddy! You can't go just yet! You're still sick!"

She narrowed her eyes at Toadbert and shook her head. "Sick!? Sick with what?!"

"A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE ILLNESS!" a voice from the hallway screamed.

_Oh, no. Not him._

* * *

There was exactly one person worse than Toadbert who could be my doctor. And that person was Dr. Toadley. This hospital is worse than Mercy Hospital. And that one was chock-full of zombies. And just in case anyone's reading, _no_, I do not play that many horror games. I don't. I swear. I do _not_ like horror games.

* * *

"You are unallowed to leave! Because you are terribly ill! Are you not? Yes, you are!" Dr. Toadley yelled, as he marched into the room. He was a very flashy toad, his spots fashioned into stars. He wore a veil by his mouth.

Kylie sighed heavily. "No, I'm not. Toadbert just finished telling us that the fog was merely a hallucinogen."

"AH! So you must immediately stay away from 'loose halls'! And acquire some sort of rhinestone!" he shouted proudly.

"Um, no sir," Toadbert siad timidly. "Hallucinogen. As in...it causes hallucinations. Illusions. In hindsight, I don't think this miss is actually sick."

Kylie was tempted to tell him that he just finished saying that she _was_ sick, but thought about the repercussions and thought against it.

"Can I go? There's something Mario and I need to do," Kylie said.

"Well, I see no reason to keep you here any-"

"PERPOSTEROUS! Toadbert, does she need immunization? Yes, she does. Of course she does! I shall get...hmm...about two. Two dozen, yes," Dr. Toadley said as he walked absently out into the hallway. Toadbert gave a sympathetic glance to Kylie, who certainly did not want two dozen immunizations. Toadbert took a quick look out into the hallway, then nodded.

"Alright, you're getting out of here, Kylie. You do not need any shots. Or...maybe you do. But two dozen is too much, by boogity!"

Mario and Kylie followed Toadbert quietly through the sterile, stale smelling hallways, to the elevators. Kylie noted with a small amount of interest that they were positioned on the fourth floor.

_I guess the window in my room actually did have a view...too bad I couldn't see it._

Toadbert pressed the button for the second floor. "For your clothes," he explained, turning to Kylie.

"Toadbert!" they faintly heard above them. "Where are the syringes?"

Toadbert looked back at them, his expression hard to read with the large glasses on his face. "He...doesn't actually work here..."

The elevator arrived, and the doors opened. After a quick trip to the laundry room, and a quicker change in the girls' bathroom (I'm not going into detail, of course), they stepped back into the elevator, this time for the lobby.

As the three exited the hospital, Toadbert stopped at the threshold.

"Thanks, Toadbert, for helping me out there," Kylie said, feeling a bit awkward that she had actually said those words together in a sentence.

Toadbert raised a hand again. "Don't mention it. I couldn't just leave you to the mercy of Dr. Toadley, by boogity! He's not even..." he lowered his voice. "He isn't a real doctor..."

Kylie laughed. "Yeah, I kind of figured." And for a few moments, Kylie watched Toadbert, and didn't hate him.

Toadbert gave a little wave, and stepped back through the glass doors.

"C'mon, Mario. Let's find Luigi."

* * *

Why do I hate Toadbert? I'll be honest, I did not expect to ask myself this question in my lifetime. Mostly because I didn't look at it as a question to be asked. But...honestly, why? He's...nice. Why did I think he was annoying?

Maybe I'm cynical. I dunno. But...I don't think I hate Toadbert. Not anymore. Maybe. Maybe I do. It's complicated.

Ah! Not in that way! No!

* * *

**Stay away from this, Dark. I'm serious. Stay. Away. From. KylieXToadbert. Don't do it. Or I will be forced to unleash the awesome power of UnpretentiouslySomber. I'm serious. I'm warning you.**


	28. Plane of Existence

**Oh boy. I started writing this at 9:44. My usual starting time is 8:00. I have to get up early tomorrow. So...sorry if this chapter drops in quality as my eyelids slowly become slabs of concrete, sliding over my eyes like snails, bringing my consciousness down with them, until I slump down over my keyboard, as if dead.  
**

**So, yeah. Sorry if that happelmklkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_  
**

**_Chapter 28: Plane of Existence_**

Luigi stood in the middle of the abandoned city. Apparently they called it 'Mossdeep City' because of all the moss growing on the buildings. Luigi couldn't help feeling bothered by this. He had no idea why, however. As he walked the streets, he was nonchalantly greeted by settling Toads. It didn't take very long for business settlers to get here and set up shop. Already, a red building was turned into some kind of an item shop, and a small building with a blue roof became a hotel of sorts. This also bothered Luigi for some reason.

Looking at the red building, he walked inside. The door, although old, was automatic, and it slid open. Looking around, he saw what could've been a sort of...well, he wasn't sure. Maybe a lobby of a hotel? Vines reached down from the roof, touching Luigi with cold tendrils, as if there was some sort of monstrous octopus hiding in the rafters. Some Toads were making use of the counter up front, and were using a machine with six indents to display mushrooms of various sorts. Luigi, seeing that there was a set of stairs, walked up them. The metal clattered under his feet, threatening to collapse at any moment. Luigi decided it'd be safest to stick to the edges of the stairs. At least if the stairs fell through, those would stay solid.

Reaching the second floor, Luigi saw hospital beds lined against the walls. _Maybe this was a hospital,_ he thought, inspecting the beds. He heard the rustle of sheets to his side. He looked, and saw Toadette, making the beds.

"Toadette! I haven't seen you since I got my Ultra Hammer in the Waffle Kingdom!" Luigi exclaimed.

"Oh. Hi, Luigi. How are you these days?" Toadette asked, after finishing the bed she was working on. Her eyes looked tired as they connected with Luigi's.

Luigi struck a pose. "I'm on another adventure! And this time, nobody hates me! At least...I'm pretty sure nobody hates me."

Toadette smiled. "Really? I might be seeing you soon, then. What're you trying to do this time? Another princess to save?"

Luigi shook his head. "Mario's missing again. I'm looking for him."

"Mario's missing, huh? He was just here a while ago..."

"What? Really? Where'd he go?" Luigi exclaimed, hope blended with disappointment in his voice. Was his adventure almost over?

Toadette turned to the other bed that was mussed up and began to strip the covers. "He and the girl he was with were going to Toad Town."

"Th-the girl? What did this girl look like? Did you get her name?" Luigi asked, his heart in his throat.

Toadette put the blanket from the bed into a laundry basket. "Black hair, shoulder length. Brownish skin. Human, like you. No, she never said her name. She was with Mario, though."

"Oh, man. I need to go. Thanks, Toadette!" Luigi said as he ran back to the stairs.

"It's fine. Good luck," she called, a bit wistfully as she put the cover on the hospital bed.

Just before going down the stairs, Luigi stopped. "Hey, Toadette. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yes," she said, almost instantly. However, her body language showed no change to what it was doing before.

Luigi waited at the top of the stairs for her to come running up next to him. She didn't. "Are you coming?"

"...No," she answered, her tone the same melancholy tone it had been since he started talking to her.

Luigi was perplexed. "But I thought you said you wanted to come!"

"I do. But I can't."

"Why not?"

Toadette let go of the blanket and looked straight at Luigi. "I don't exist."

"Sorry, what?" Luigi asked. He must have heard her wrong.

"I don't exist, Luigi. I'm not here right now," she said.

Luigi scrunched up his face, trying to understand what she was telling him. "B-but I'm talking to you right now! How can you not exist if I can see you?"

"I'm a slave, Luigi. I only appear where I'm needed. As soon as you leave this room, I'll blip out of existence until somebody needs a tutorial on a pair of Super Boots," Toadette looked down at the ground.

"You...you can't be serious. Look, I'll leave right now, and come right back, and you'll be here!" Luigi turned around, and began to climb back down the stairs.

"Luigi, please don't!" Toadette pleaded. For the first time since they had started talking, Toadette had broken her calm demeanor. She seemed...desparate. Luigi stopped.

"Please, Luigi. Not yet. Don't go yet. I'm not ready. There's still something I have to do," she said quietly.

Luigi looked at the female Toad, who seemed close to tears. "What's that?"

She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodbye, Luigi. See you later," she whispered. Then she went back to a bed and began to fold sheets again.

Luigi, quietly, so quietly and softly, turned around and walked down the stairs. The creaks and clangs of the metal stairs meant nothing to him now. Suddenly, he turned on his heels, and ran up the stairs, bursting into the hospital room.

Toadette was gone.

* * *

She doesn't exist. It's hard for me to wrap my head around, Diary. She's...just gone. Flickered out of existence. I feel bad for her. She said she was a slave. That she only appears when she's needed. And I can't imagine that. It sounds...terrible, Diary. Just terrible.

I'm going to look for some Super Boots.

* * *

**The plane of existence goes NEEEEEERROOOOOOOOWWWW! Hee hee hee...**

**I am so sleep deprived...**


	29. A Pathetic Display

**Depending on how much progress I make, this might be up tonight or Friday morning. If it's up tomorrow, don't worry. I'll be writing again at 9:00 in the evening. At some point, I'll write 2 chapters in a day again so I can be ahead of the game if something like this ever happens again. See, I'm following your advice, Dark!**

**Of course, if you're reading this after it's complete, disregard this message, I guess. Man, you people are so spoiled. You don't know how people like Omega Zekrom, Child At Heart Forever, Ed-boi, and jakeroo123 have it, waiting about 24 hours OR MORE for their Canon Fodder fix. *tut tut*  
**

**Oh, by the way, all those people I mentioned up there (and everyone else), thank you for supporting and reviewing! Okay, I'm done dissing and kissing up. Let's go!**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 29: A Pathetic Display**_

"Okay, Mario. Let's find Luigi."

Mario nodded his head in agreement, but didn't move. Kylie, finding it strange that she was the one in charge when she was accompanying the mascot of Nintendo himself, decided the first place to look was the Bros.' house.

"It'd probably be the first place he went after I disappeared...That is, if he didn't jump down after me," Kylie explained, more to herself than to Mario. Walking down the path from Toad Town to their house, Kylie remembered the first time she had traveled down this road. She recalled everything that happened on their short journey before she fell down that pit. And then she began to wonder.

* * *

Diary, I've been thinking. What exactly was I looking for when I was with Luigi? I called it a Deus, but...what was it? Did it actually exist? And...what was I expecting? Some sort of portal? A giant spring? A spaceship?

What if there is no Deus? I mean, there was no solid proof it even exists. As Krus T. said, her story was just a theory...a Game Theory!

...Sorry. Not the time. What if...there is no way back home? What if I'm stuck here like Mario and Luigi? Will the Mushroom Kingdom get even more messed up? And what am I doing to it? What do all these places that are just popping up have in common? Blackfire Crater? Radish Ruins? Saffron City? I just don't see a connection!

...I've been here for...what, over a week, now? Man, when I get home, my parents are going to punish me so much...

* * *

Mario tapped her shoulder, and she looked up from her diary. After seeing his questioning look, Kylie explained that playing handheld games while walking has blessed her with exceptional peripheral vision. Mario pointed at the house in front of them.

"We're here," Kylie said, putting her diary back in her bag. Walking up the few steps to the front door, she noticed that laundry was drying on the clothesline. Maybe Luigi was here!

She turned the doorknob. It wouldn't budge. She turned around, back to Mario, and pointed at the door. "It's locked."

Mario simply stared at her blankly, as if he expected her to do something.

"...The key, Mario. Do you have a key?" she said, unimpressed.

Mario patted his pockets, checking for something, then shook his head.

"What kind of person doesn't have keys to their own home...?" Kylie whispered to herself. She spun around, looking curiously at the lock.

_Okay. I don't know how to pick locks. But...I've seen it done when Skyrim was still a thing...it shouldn't be too hard._

"Hey, Mario, do you have two small, rigid metal stick-things that I could use to-"

Mario wasn't listening to her. He was too busy heaving a rock through the front window. Kylie cringed and ducked down as she heard the smash of glass, followed by the tinkling of shards on a hard floor. After the noise settled down, she gave a disbeliving look at the older brother, who shrugged and jumped inside. She heard a click on the other side of the front door, and it opened. Shaking her head slowly, Kylie walked in, debating whether it'd be respectful or a health risk to take her shoes off. She looked at Mario, who was wearing his, and decided against removing them.

Kylie gave a quick look to her right, at the living room, where the rock had touched down. Glass was spread everywhere on the ground, shimmering in the afternoon light. It looked like the scene of a B&amp;E, sans yellow police tape.

"You've gotta clean that up,_"_ Kylie said, pointing at the mess. "It's a hazard."

Mario flipped his hand at her, showing her he wasn't interested in what she had to say. He began to look through the house for some sort of clue to Luigi's whereabouts.

Kylie, making a face at Mario, whom she was beginning to really dislike, decided to search as well. "Luigi!" she called, in case he was home. "Are you here?"

After getting no answer, she walked into the kitchen. Some packages of food were left out. Luigi had definitely been here. Maybe he was in his library. She began to climb down the wooden stairs from the kitchen.

"Luigi! Are you down here?" she called as she held onto the railing. Reaching the nonfiction section, she first took a look around the room. There was no sign of the green plumber. Then she caught a glance of the coffee table where they had done research for Blackfire Crater. There was an atlas there, and from the look of it, it was pretty new. She walked over to it and sat down on the couch. It was open to the region of the Mushroom Kingdom with Saffron City.

Kylie wondered whether she should close and put away the book. She was pretty sure Luigi would want it that way, but she wasn't sure where it would go. She picked up the atlas, and walked over to the shelves, perusing for some sort of space where she could put the book.

Then it hit her. Saffron City.

Luigi must've went there.

"Mario! I think I know where Luigi went!" she yelled, dropping the book onto the floor and flying up the stairs. She dashed into the relatively small dining room, where Mario was throwing a slip of paper into the trash. He turned to look at Kylie, his eyes telling her to explain. Somehow.

"Luigi left an atlas open to Saffron City, where we just were. I think we should go there. He's probably there, too," Kylie said.

Mario nodded, then dashed out the window. Kylie was going to follow, but something told her to check what he had thrown away. She looked at the trash can, and saw a ball of paper atop other things. She picked it out carefully, not touching the rim of the can or any other trash, and opened it.

_Dear Mario,_

_I'm going to be away for a while. I don't know how long. I'm on an adventure! So if you're  
hungry, there's some leftovers in the fridge. You can heat them up in the microwave. If  
you run out, just go out to eat. There should be enough to last you a week in there, but I  
might be gone for longer. You might have to go out shopping. Of course, I'm assuming you  
won't be out on an adventure on your own. I just want you to know I'm fine. I'll be back soon.  
_

_Your brother, Luigi_

Kylie gripped the note in her hands. He had probably written this when she was still with him. But...why did Mario throw it in the trash? And speaking about that, why did Mario throw a rock through a window to his own house? Kylie was sure something was wrong with him.

What happened at that Mario Party anyways?

* * *

**The chapter title has only one meaning. But it's not the first meaning you think of. The pun is its meaning. It's a pun.**


	30. You're Close

**Author's note here, I guess. This is still filler so that the 'Canon Fodder' stays in the center of the page. I just try to make the filler more entertaining for you. You're welcome.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_**

**_Chapter 30: You're Close..._**

Staring at the empty room, Luigi shook his head sadly. He slowly turned around and headed down the stairs again. He walked through the sliding doors of the red-roofed building, he decided to head back to Toad Town. It was near the center of the Kingdom, so he'd be able to go nearly anywhere to look for Mario. He exited the city through the north house-exit.

He came to a foggy graveyard. There was a voice nagging him in the back of his head, but he ignored it. After a while, he exited the graveyard and came to a meadow. He could see Peach's Castle in the background. He looked to his left, and sure enough, the smoking remains of Bowser's Castle was in the distance.

_Maybe three days was a little generous..._he thought, wondering if Daisy was done with checking out the castle yet. He came to Toad Town, and decided first, before checking out his house, to look at Vista Hill. Just in case Daisy was hanging out there. But...this meant going through Toad Town again. Frowning, he gritted his teeth and completely blocked out any dialogue he heard. After walking three blocks, he came to Vista Hill. Not seeing Daisy, he sat down on the bench that he had made a long time ago, and began to write in his diary.

* * *

I feel really bad for Toadette. I don't know where she is right now, or...if she _is_ at all.

I've been thinking, Diary. Kylie didn't want to tell me something when she was with me. It was something she was afraid to tell me. And I've been wondering what it was. Maybe when I find her, she'll have changed her mind. Then again, probably not. But it's been eating away at me. I just hope I can find her soon...

About Mossdeep City...I have a feeling it's there because of Kylie. But if so, why didn't I see her there? Maybe I was too late? And if places are appearing and disappearing because of Kylie, Mario and I, why has Vista Hill always stayed? It's been on the other side of Toad Town for as long as I can remember. And...hold on.

* * *

_First, Kylie tried searching the same things Luigi did. Similarly, they returned no results. Luigi watched her with a critical eye. Kylie put a hand to her chin. Then she got an idea. She searched for 'Vista Hill legend'._

_She turned to Luigi. "Vista Hill is the place I appeared at, right?"_

_Luigi nodded._

_Looking back at the computer, Kylie looked through some of the books. Something caught her eye. It was an encyclopedia of the supernatural and strange in the Mushroom Kingdom. Apparently it had a legend about Vista Hill in it._

_..._

_"What does it say, Luigi?" Kylie called._

_Luigi slammed the book shut. "It's a legend about a Toad couple that haunt the hill. Nothing about a portal."_

* * *

That legend...I wonder if it has anything to do with that. I'll have to investigate later, when Mario isn't in danger.

Speaking of which, I'd better get back to searching.

* * *

Closing his diary and putting it back in his bag, Luigi stood up from the bench, trying to decide what to do next. After a bit of inner debate, he resolved to go to his house and plan out tomorrow's route after a short visit to Krus.

But this meant that he'd have to go into Toad Town. Alone. Voluntarily.

_Shoot._

Looking down at the ground, Luigi ventured once again into the town. He blocked out any voices that he could've heard, and ran over the directions in his head. Soon enough, he looked up and saw Krus's house in front of him. Noting with a fair amount of curiosity the lack of voices he had heard back in the square, he knocked on the door.

"Ach! I cannae git any time tae meself anymore! Haud on, I'll be right wit' ye," her unmistakable voice announced.

Luigi waited outside patiently for the old Toad to make her way to the door. She opened it slowly, the door whining in protest.

"Ah, Luigi. Yer back again. C'min, c'min," she said quickly, motioning for him to enter.

He did so, taking off his shoes and placing them by the door. Luigi heard the blaring of the television upstairs. "I, uh...hope I'm not interrupting anything," Luigi said cautiously.

Krus blinked slowly, then looked up at where the television must've been. "Ah, no. Yer fine, Luigi. Was only watchin' a man and a...'Watchhog', I believe it was called talk aboot somefin called a 'Ring Target'. I dinnae get it, so this was a welcome interruption. Now, what brings ye here?"

"Well, as you know, I'm looking for Mario. But my last search...for Mario...brought a dead end. I did find out he was replaced at some point, though. Where he was last seen, the Mario Party. Someone replaced him."

"Replaced 'im, eh? Well, I've only heard of one case, an' it was in a small town called Twilight Town. Would 'ja like me to explain?" Krus asked.

Luigi thought of something first. "Hold on," he said, holding up a finger as he dug through his bag. He pulled out his diary, which he would be taking notes in. "OK, go."

* * *

So she said that Mario fought something called a Duplighost in Twilight Town. It took his form, and he turned into a shadow. He got his form back by guessing the Duplighost's name, and beating it in a battle. The ghost's name was Doopliss. Krus said there was more to the story, but it wasn't important.

* * *

"So do you think it's the same ghost?" Luigi asked. "That is, if Mario was replaced."

Krus shrugged. "Cannae say. Just...keep yer eye out fer any suspicious shadows."

Luigi shivered at Krus's words. "Alright, Krus. Thanks for the info. I'll probably be back at some point."

"I'll probably be here, waitin' fer that moment. I don't have that much more tae do. But go on. Find yer bro," Krus smiled, waving her hand.

Luigi tipped his hat,and went out the door. He stepped out onto the sunset-tinted street, heading for his house.

The first thing he noticed was that it had been broken into. Quickly taking the key from his pocket, he went to open the lock. It wasn't locked. A sick feeling in his stomach, Luigi looked at the broken window. It had a rock thrown through it. Cringing at the glass that he'd have to clean up in the morning, he checked to make sure nothing was taken.

Through his search of the house, he noted curiously that the letter that he had left Mario in case he came back while he was off with Kylie was crumpled up on the table. Why would the thief crumple up the note, unfold it and lay it on the table? But nothing else seemed to be stolen...

Shaking his head in confusion, Luigi put about two rolls' worth of plastic wrap over the break in the window, got changed and went to sleep.

* * *

**Krus's explanation was for those of you who had never played TTYD. You're welcome. Again. See the things I do for you guys? Because you're special to me. You have a special place in my heart. Maybe. No promises.**

**Ah, I missed you, story-specific catchphrase.**


	31. And Yet So Far

**Chapter 31. Wow. I've been writing this story consecutively for thirty-one days. So...I guess this is like the one-month anniversary. *distant cheers***

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 31: ...And Yet So Far**_

Kylie stared at the note in her hand, then back at Mario, who was heading out the door. She looked at him for a long time. Something was off about him. Once again, she looked at Luigi's note. Smoothing it out, she put it back on the dining room table, then headed out after Mario.

Walking up to his side, she turned to Mario as she walked. "Okay. So what do we do now?"

"Luigi," Mario stated.

"Well, obviously," Kylie groaned. "I meant what's the next step? Do you think we should go shopping for supplies first?"

Mario looked forward, his face blank. Then after about ten seconds of silence, he nodded.

* * *

This is not how I expected Mario to act. He's being a really, really big jerk. What is it with him? I...just want to talk about it with someone. I might have to make a visit to Krus later today.

* * *

Toad Town was bustling. It was busier than Kylie had ever seen it before...at least, in person. But all auditory activity seemed to stop as she walked by. Well, maybe not her. Probably Mario. She looked up, and sure enough, everyone was staring at him.

"Let's go to the badge shop," she suggested, looking at the labeled store. "They're usually pretty useful."

Mario, without saying a word, altered his course. They arrived at the badge shop only around twenty seconds later. As soon as Mario walked through the front doors, he began looting the shelves, inspecting badges and putting them in his bag.

"Hello!" the clerk said cheerily. "Are you with Mister Mario there?"

Kylie looked uneasily at the red plumber, who was currently comparing two badges that looked pretty similar. "That...remains to be seen."

"Well, alright," the clerk said, seemingly undeterred by Kylie's strange wording. "Is this your first time shopping for badges?"

"Mine, yes. Why?" Kylie asked, wondering if she'd get a tutorial of some sorts. _Although, _she supposed, _I guess since I'm getting the tutorial it's called a demonstration. Right?__  
_

The clerk Toad pulled out what looked like a sash with small circular indents arranged in a gridlike pattern. "This is a Badge Sash. You equip badges to it, like this," he said, taking out what looked like a Power Smash badge, and pushing it onto an indent until it clicked. "See? Now, if you have a hammer, you can use Power Smash."

"Oh, so _that's_ how it works..." she said, more to herself than to the Toad.

"Yep!" the Toad said happily. "Now, keep in mind two things. There's only a certain number of Badge Points that you have. As you get stronger, the number of Badge Points you have will increase-"

"Wait, by Badge Points you mean these little clip things?"

The clerk nodded. "And also, there are some badges that require more than one point. Like this one," he said, pulling out a very large purple square badge, with a lighter jagged arrow in the middle. "This is the Return Postage badge, and requires seven free pegs, or seven BP. Here, this is for you," he said, handing her the sash with the Power Smash badge equipped.

"Um...I don't have a hammer or-"

"Oh, that's fine! I'll just swap it with a Power Jump instead! They're basically the same thing," he said happily, taking off the badge and replacing it with another.

"I, uh...don't have any money, either."

The Toad blinked twice, then started laughing. "No, no! This is for you! It's a free gift!"

Kylie recoiled a little. "I'm sorry, did you say...'free gift'?"

"Yep!...Is there a problem?"

Kylie shook her head. "No, it's just...the way I was raised, the term 'free gift' wasn't really put in a positive connotation," she said, rubbing her arm uncomfortably. "Do I have to be wearing this sash for it to work?"

"Nope! What most people do is attach it somewhere on their bag. As long as you have it in close proximity to yourself, they should work. So it works for any friends you may have with you, too!"

"Wow! Thank you so much!" Kylie exclaimed. She turned her head around. "Hey, Mario, exactly how many Coins do you-"

_BRINGINGINGINGING!_

Mario was gone. And judging from the incessantly loud ringing in her ears, he had just shoplifted. She turned back to the clerk, apologetically, and then ran out after him. "Mario! You forgot to pay!"

* * *

After a very long time of searching the streets and looking to see if they had seen Mario, Kylie gave up.

"This is definitely _not_ how I expected Mario to behave," Kylie grumbled. "What do I do now?"

Kylie walked the streetlit streets slowly, looking at her feet. Although this was not the first time Kylie had felt alone, it was the first time she was alone in the Mushroom Kingdom. From her debut, Luigi or Mario had always been with her. Now she was truly by herself in this strange land.

She looked up.

_Or not,_ she thought with a smirk.

Knocking on the door, she heard the voice she had been expecting.

"What's this!? Another visitor? Lordy, if I'm not becomin' th' most popular Toad in Toad Town by now!"

The door opened and Kylie looked down to see Krus T. standing there. "Oh! It's you! Come in, come in."

* * *

Krus sat down in the living room, staring across the coffee table at the girl.

Krus looked at her in amusement. "You know, er..."

"Kylie," she reminded.

"Right," Krus pointed at her. "Anyways, as I was sayin', e'er since you showed yer face 'round here, I've been gettin' more visitors than th' princess herself! Well, mind you, it's only you an' Luigi, but-"

"Hold on, what?" Kylie exclaimed, interrupting her. "Luigi? He's visited you again?"

Krus nodded, deciding to dismiss the interruption. "He's visited me twice, actually. The first time was about Mario missin', and the second was earlier this afternoon."

"He visited you _this afternoon?_" Kylie yelled, her shoulder sagging. "Dang it! I _just_ missed him! What did you talk about? Did he say where he was going?"

"No. He wanted tae talk tae me aboot Duplighosts," Krus said.

"Duplighosts? Like...Doopliss?"

"'Sat his name? The one in Twilight Town?...Well, I guess you should know. You were the one doin' a project aboot legends and such, were ye not?"

"Uh...Yeah. I was."

"How'd that go?" she asked, smirking.

"It went okay. I ended up not preparing as much as I had wanted to, so I only got a low 'A'. But your information about dimensions was pretty helpful." she said smoothly.

"I'm, ah...glad to hear it. What've ye been up to in th' meantime?"

"Oh. Well, I've actually had the opportunity to travel with Mario-"

Krus's heart shot up into her throat. "I-I'm sorry, didja jes' say Mario?"

"Yeah, I know. It's...such a great opportunity," she said, venom seeping into her voice.

"Um, dear, there's somefin' I need tae tell ye aboot Mario-"

_knock knock knock_

Krus stiffened, taken by surprise.

"I'll be right wit' ye!" she yelled. Giving an apologetic look to Kylie, she walked over to the door and opened it.

Mario stood there, in the entryway, his expression as jolly as always. "A-ah! H'llo, Mario! Such a pleasure tae see ye!"

Mario nodded, then looked in the house. He locked eyes with Kylie, then jerked his head. Kylie's eyes brightened, but got up slowly from the seat with sagged shoulders.

"I guess I'll be going. Thanks for talking to me, Krus," she said as she walked past her. "Mario, Luigi was just here this afternoon. Maybe he's at his house."

Mario seemed to think for a moment. Then he stepped out into the street, motioning for Kylie to follow.

"Bye, Krus," Kylie said, and closed the door.

Krus looked over through the window at Kylie and Mario as they walked down the amber tinted street. Her eyes were drawn to Mario.

_What about him is so..._

Krus's eyes widened in fear. Her heart, previously in her throat, shot down into her stomach. Mario's shadow was moving. No...not moving.

Struggling.

* * *

**Sorry I couldn't get this out yesterday, audience. I was in a place with...no internet access. Yes, such a place exists! I know, I was shocked, too. But keep in mind that I never actually _said_ that I'd be uploading every day. I have no obligation to. But I do try to.**

**Oh, hey, you remember that B plot I mentioned such a long time ago? I left another hint as to what it is...though I don't think I'm using the term 'B plot' correctly. I don't think you need to search for a B plot. Whatever it is, the hint is a little more obvious this time.**


	32. Recipe For Disaster

**Here's where it gets interesting...**

**Also, chapter name PUNPUNPUNPUNPUN**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 32: Recipe For Disaster**_

Luigi awoke to the sound of voices, and his front door clicking open. Becoming highly alert very quickly, Luigi debated in his head whether it would be best to confront them now.

_No...they're probably armed. And I'm in my pajamas. I'll just pretend I'm asleep, and if they try anything..._

"Honestly, I think throwing that rock through the window was a little bit much. If I'm going to keep going along with you, we need to have a good long talk."

Luigi froze. He recognized that voice. But where?

"You're right. I'll just sleep down in the library. There's something I want to look at, anyways. But first thing tomorrow, we are having a discussion about your behaviour."

_They're spending the night here?!_ he screamed inwardly. Luigi took deep breaths, trying to calm himself out of a panic. _Okay...what do I do? Should I wait until they're asleep, and then get them? Yeah. I'll...do that._

Luigi pulled the covers over his head in a manner to make it look like he wasn't in bed, and the covers simply weren't made. He had perfected this back when Mario and he were very young.

* * *

Mario and I...we grew up together. But it's strange...I don't remember it very well. I only remember little snippets, like Yoshis returning us to our parents. Do Yoshis exist on Earth...? Well, assuming that's where we grew up. I think it is. Where was it again? Massachusetts? No, that's where Kylie said she was from. Wasn't it

* * *

Luigi instantly stiffened as he heard the unmistakable sound of boots climbing up the stairs.

_Someone's coming. Someone's coming and they're coming to kill me, _Luigi thought, trying desperately to halt the trembling wracking his body. _Blankets don't tremble, Luigi. One motion and you're done for._

The boots had reached the top of the stairs. Now they were walking towards his bed. They were walking towards him. To kill him. Luigi tried to withhold the urge to scream.

A drawer opened. This, Luigi didn't expect. He had been preparing for the last thirty seconds for some sort of twisted metal to come tearing through the sheets, snuffing him out in one fell swoop. But...whoever this was...they were looking through either his or Mario's drawers.

_Probably stealing stuff,_ he thought bitterly. _And there's nothing I can do about it. If...if only Mario were here..._

"Hold on a sec..." the female voice from downstairs said quietly. "Hey, was that window covered in plastic wrap when we were last here?"

_No! They know I'm here! They're going to kill me!_

"Eh. Maybe some Toads just covered it up. This is the famous Mario Bros.' house, after all. It just _wouldn't do_ to have _Super Mario's_ window cracked, would it?"

_Phew..._

"Anyways, goodnight. You know what's happening tomorrow, Mr. B-and-E."

_That voice was so familiar! Where was she from? _Luigi thought. _Is she-_

His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of Mario's bed covers being disturbed. Luigi tried his best not to jump out right then and there. This thief was sleeping in _Mario's bed._ Luigi's ears began to grow hot. The disrespect of this burglar was really starting to anger him. When the sucker was asleep...Ooh, he'd get it. But for now...he waited.

* * *

After an unbearably long amount of time, Luigi was greeted with the sound of soft breathing. And chirping birds.

_Oh, no! I fell asleep!_ Luigi thought. Slowly, he removed the covers from his head. Whoever was sleeping in that other bed had Mario's pajamas on, and was facing away from him. Silently, deliberating every move, Luigi got out of bed, and sneaked over to the person sleeping in Mario's bed. His blood ran cold.

It was Mario.

His eyes began to water, and his throat began to hurt. Luigi had found his brother...

_No..._he thought with a frown. _He found me. I didn't do anything._

He sighed sadly. Deciding not to wake him up, and instead to surprise him, he took his diary from his bed, and went down to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Coming down the stairs without making a sound was difficult. The staircase was old, and therefore had a lot of creaky planks. But Luigi managed to escape with only a few squeaks. He hastened himself to the kitchen counter, and pulled out a cookbook. He contemplated what to make for his and Mario's grand reunion. He flipped through the cookbook, and his eyes gravitated to a specific recipe.

Good Old Fashioned Pancakes

Ingredients: Flour, Baking Powder, Salt, White Sugar, Milk, Eggs, Butter

In a large bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt and white sugar together, add milk and eggs  
Heat frying pan, grease with butter. Pour in mixture, grill until brown on both sides

Luigi nodded to himself. This was one of Mario's favourites. There were others, but you can't have pasta for breakfast. Gathering the ingredients and putting them in a bowl, Luigi took this opportunity to think and write down said thoughts.

* * *

So Mario's just here. All my searching was for nothing. I mean, it's great that he's here, and he's okay, but...I would've liked to save him, y'know? After all my effort...It didn't really matter. I could've just stayed here and sulked until he showed up again, and it would've made no difference. I kind of wish that he woul... ... ...

* * *

Luigi swiped his diary away from the mixer, which had splattered a bit of dough on the page. Frowning, he brought his diary away from the bowl, to another part of the counter. After setting it down, he happened to look up. And once again, his eyes began to water.

Kylie was standing in the doorway to the library, staring at him in shock.

"L-Luigi! You're here! And...you're making pancakes," she said, tilting her head to look over his shoulder at the mixer and frying pan.

Luigi's eyes went wide. "Y-y-y-you...you're...alive..."

Kylie pursed her lips, and looked down at herself. Jokingly, she began to pat herself, as if to test if she was really there. "Whoa. So I am! Wow, imagine that!" she exclaimed, then looked at him with a grin. When she noticed his expression of relief and the various tears running down his face, her smile faltered. "What?"

"The pit in the tunnel," Luigi tried to explain. "You fell, and you d-didn't come back up..."

"Wait, you thought I...oh. Ohh...Oh, Luigi, I'm so sorry!" Kylie said, clapping her hands to the side of her face. "I didn't realize what it must've looked like to you!"

Luigi waited for her to come closer, but she didn't. She didn't move from the spot in the doorway. He stared at her for a few moments, both of them waiting for the other to say something.

"Um, Luigi? I think your pancake is burning," Kylie finally said quietly, pointing at the frying pan.

Luigi woke up from his trance, and quickly turned around. True to Kylie's word, it was singed black. He took the spatula and dug it out of the frying pan.

"Oh, it's okay. I'll eat this one," he said, chuckling.

Kylie walked up to him. "Need any more help? Or are you good?"

Luigi tried to hide the tears that were pooling at the corners of his eyes. "Yes...I'm good. I'm very good."

He could've sworn he somehow heard Kylie roll her eyes.

"Well, well, well. If I had known you were actually here, greenie, I could've had this finished a lot faster. Ah, well. But I am pretty hungry, so I think I'll have a pancake breakfast before I have some _real_ fun."

Both Luigi and Kylie looked up at the upper floor railing, to see who had said those strange words. They were greeted with the smirking face of Mario.

* * *

**Little tidbit: I actually used this recipe to make pancakes for breakfast this morning! If you want to know the exact measurements, it's the first result on Google when you search 'Pancake recipe'. Yeah, I'm lazy. But they were okay. Considering, y'know, I usually stick to baking pastries and desserts.**


	33. Something's Wrong

**Hello, once again, audience! When we left off, I was ripping off of Tobuscus- Wait, no, I'm doing that right now. Um...when we left off, Mario wasn't Mario! And we _really_ get into the plot!**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_**

**_Chapter 33: Something's Wrong_**

"M-Mario? Are you feeling okay?" Luigi stuttered. "Y-you just spoke and...called me 'greenie'."

"Yeah. I did," he said, and began to climb down the stairs. "Oi, those pancakes finished yet? My best friend there and I haven't eaten in a while. You're famished, aren't you, Slick?"

Kylie's throat began to tense up. "I-I'm sorry, did you just say...'Slick'?"

Mario sighed. "Yeah. And I'm hungry. Greenie, pancakes. They finished yet?"

Luigi looked over at the pan, then back at 'Mario' uneasily. "Um...Yeah. I think they are, but-"

"Then serve 'em up already! Breakfast, the most important meal of the day! It's...a jingle or something. I dunno. But I'm hungry. Food's right there. Connect the dots," 'Mario' said, clapping his hands.

Kylie watched as Luigi, in a daze, set the table for a pancake breakfast.

_How do I go about this? That's Doopliss! _The _Doopliss! The one who took over Mario's...Oh my God._

She looked at Doopliss's shadow. It wasn't moving the way Doopliss was. It seemed to be trying to defy his every move. Her fears were confirmed. But what should she do? _If I let him know that I know, he could do anything to me! He could kill me and take over my body! Oh...Oh, no..._

"Kylie, breakfast is ready," Luigi said quietly, snapping her out of her mental tangent.

Uneasily, she sat down at the table. Luigi put a very large plate of pancakes in the center of the table. Kylie took the tongs and went for the one on top, but Doopliss reached over and grabbed it first, smirking at Kylie. He set it on his plate, and reached for another. Kylie watched, unamused as he took five pancakes from the stack of seven. Luigi and Kylie exchanged glances, and took one each.

"So...Kylie. How did you find Mario?" Luigi asked, turning to her.

"Um...Well, after I fell down that pit, I woke up in Saffron City, south of here. I talked with Toadette, met up with...Mario, and tried coming up here to find you. That was our primary objective. And...then I got sick when walking through a graveyard, and I was taken to the hospital here. Then...Mario stole from a badge shop, and we talked a bit with Krus T. And here we are."

Luigi blinked. "Mario, you stole from the badge shop?"

"Yeah. I felt like I needed them. What the badges did sounded pretty good. So I took a couple. No biggie."

"No biggie?" Kylie shouted. "The Toad Town Police Force is after you!"

"Yeah, but they can't do anything," Doopliss said, striking a pose. "I'm Super Mario!"

"Mario, stealing's wrong," Luigi said, obviously uncomfortable. "You know that."

Finishing off his pancakes, Doopliss thumped his chest. "A little burnt, but...eh. What can ya do? Anyways...now that we've finished this reunion..."

Kylie stood up. "Luigi, don't. This isn't Mario."

"What?" Luigi asked, standing up as well. "Of course he is! Look at him!"

"No, he's not!" Kylie said. "He's been lying to you! He's-"

"Kylie," Luigi said, his eyes wide. He gritted his teeth, and jerked his head towards Doopliss with every word. "This...is...Mario..."

_He knows...__He's trying to keep him from going berserk. _"Okay. He's Mario. Sorry, I don't know what got into me."

Kylie and Luigi sat back down slowly, and stared at their untouched pancakes.

"I'm not an idiot. And greenie, you made that way too obvious. C'mon, we're all friends here! We all know I'm not actually Mario."

"You're...you're admitting it?" Luigi asked, confused.

"Yeah. And, well. I'm kind of tired of this anyways," Doopliss stood up and yawned. "The only real reason I'm keeping this poor sap's body right now is to keep him in check."

"Luigi...do you know what this guy is?" Kylie whispered.

Luigi nodded grimly. "He's a Duplighost."

"Not just any Duplighost."

"Wait, he's..._him?_ The one from Twilight Town?"

"Yep," Kylie said. "I guess he quit the theatre business..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyways, do you know what worked the first time?"

"Mario said his name. But I don't know his name!"

"I do."

"Then say it!"

"Y'know, you guys are terrible whisperers," Doopliss said loudly, resting his chin on his hands. "Well? What're you waiting for? Say my name. Since you're so smart, you should definitely know it. So...give 'er!"

Kylie stood up from the table heroically, and pointed at the body snatcher in a fashion similar to a certain ace attorney. "The jig is up...Doopliss!"

Doopliss's eyes went wide. "Wha-? How...how did you...NOOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO nope. Wrong!"

"What!?" Kylie exclaimed, her arm dropping to her side.

"D'you think I'd be dumb enough not to change my name if I wanted to do this sort of thing again? Ha!"

"Luigi...what do we do?" Kylie asked, shivering.

Luigi turned to her. "Isn't there some sort of knowledge you have about this? You knew all that stuff about the world and what was happening! Don't you know about this?"

Kylie shook her head. "No...I don't."

"Hey, hey. Relax. All I wanted to do was help Mario here find his brother! That's all! And now that I've found him, I'm done!" 'Mario' stood up. "In fact...here. I'll even give him back. Free of charge!*"

He threw his hands up, and spun around. Suddenly, his shadow began to ripple. A red cap rose out of the shadows, followed by the rest of his brother. 'Mario' began to retain his true form - a strange being, draped with a bedsheet to look like a ghost. Adorned atop his head was a conical party hat, and a bow on his chest. Mario clutched his head, and stumbled on the ground.

"Mario!" Luigi cried, jumping over the table and tackling him to the floor in a hug. "He didn't kill you!"

Kylie wasn't fooled. "Why are you here, Doopliss?"

"Not my name!" he sang.

"I know," she said through gritted teeth. "But why are you here?"

Doopliss turned to her. "I just finished saying that! I'm here to return Super Mario to Greenie!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why'd you take his body then?"

"It was fun. He's famous, toots! You should try it sometime. Anyways, I've got some super important stuff to do. So..."

Kylie frowned. He seemed legitimate, but something felt off. She stole a glance at Mario. He was glaring at Doopliss with an extreme hatred, something she had never really seen in his eyes before. Something was definitely wrong.

But Doopliss simply tipped his hat and jumped out the living room window, tripping on the plastic wrap. He wiped it off of himself, grumbled a bit, and ran off.

"Hey, wait!" Kylie yelled. She ran to the front door, Mario right behind her. She threw the door open, and dashed after him. "Doopliss! Wait!"

But he was gone.

"Mario! Kylie! What's going on?" Luigi called to them from the doorway.

Kylie turned around. She exchanged glances with Mario. They both knew.

Something's wrong.

* * *

**Oh...Ohh...OHHHHHHHH! Wait, nope. I can't do that for my own story. Quick! Somebody do that for me! That thing! That thing I did right there! Do it for me!**


	34. Things Get Worse

**Okay, I've been thinking about the term 'B-Plot'. And it doesn't fit. Not the way I'm using it. It's not a B-Plot. It's a secret. So that's what I'll call it. A secret. Not a B-Plot. By the way, I was just lazy with this chapter's name.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_  
**

**_Chapter 34: Things Get Worse_**

"Mario! Kylie! What's going on?" Luigi called from the door. They had just ran out after the fake Mario. _Although, _he supposed, _he isn't really Mario, is he? Well, whatever he is, he brought Mario back._

Kylie and Mario looked at Luigi. Then they looked at each other, and finally at where 'Mario' ran off to.

Luigi ran up to them. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

Kylie gulped. "...Something."

Luigi was silent for a moment. Sure, the way he gave Mario back was sort of suspicious, but he did give Mario back. He honestly didn't see what was wrong. "C'mon. Let's finish our breakfast."

Slowly, reluctantly, Kylie and Mario followed Luigi into their house. Luigi, noting that Doopliss, or whatever his name was, had eaten all the pancakes, made more while talking to the other two.

"So..." Luigi said slowly, unsure of where to start.

"Hey, Luigi?" Kylie asked. "When did Mario go missing? I mean," she turned to Mario. "I'd ask you, but you don't really talk much."

Mario shook his head. Luigi decided to oblige. "He was at a Mario Party. Halfway through, he...uh..."

Kylie stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Mario was replaced by Doopliss in the middle of the Mario Party," he said, looking down. "And...Doopliss returned him to me. But...why?"

He felt Kylie's eyes boring into him. "Something's wrong with this whole thing, Luigi."

"Maybe he wanted to return you to me, too. I mean, he woke up next to you," Luigi continued.

Kylie didn't avert her gaze. "How did he know I'd be in the second floor of a Pokémon Center in Saffron City? How did he know that I fell down that pit?"

"I, uh..."

"Something's off, Luigi. Everything's lining up. I'm getting feelings like no tomorrow that this was no 'Good Samaritan' errand. It's all wrong, Luigi," Kylie finished.

Luigi was once again silent. "So...what you're saying is that he wanted us three together?"

Mario shrugged. Then he froze.

Because he smelled smoke.

* * *

Running outside, the three of them looked to the right of the house, at Toad Town.

The horizon was burning. Grey clouds rose from the town as flames spewed from every conceivable angle. Toads were running frantically from the city, their faces stricken with terror.

Luigi ran up to a Toad that had barely escaped. "What happened?"

"T-t-t-t-t-t-there was a b-b-b-b..." he stuttered, trying to get the word out.

"What? What was it?" Luigi yelled.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-BOMB!" he screamed.

Kylie froze. "There was a _bomb?"_ she exclaimed.

The Toad nodded frantically. "From the sky! Just NEEEEROWW and then BOOOOM and then FWOOOF! It was TERRIBLE!"

"It was a _tactical strike?! _In the Mushroom Kingdom?!" Kylie looked as if she wanted to pull her hair out. "Mario! Luigi! What do we do? We can't just let it burn!"

"Mario!" Luigi turned to Mario quickly. "Don't you have that F.L.U.D.D. thing from Delfino?"

Mario nodded and ran back into the house, leaving Luigi and Kylie alone.

Luigi looked at Kylie next to her uneasily. "So...Kylie, do you think this has to do with Doopliss-"

"Yes," she interrupted, looking straight at Luigi. "I do. I don't know how it fits, but I'm pretty sure it does."

"How, Kylie?" Luigi asked, beginning to feel the frustration from before resurface. "How do you know these things?"

"I can't tell you, Luigi," Kylie said, shaking her head sadly. "Not yet. I'm worried that if I do, the world around us will...I dunno, shatter, or something. I'm not sure what the consequences of me leaking it are, but I know that they probably aren't good."

Luigi sighed. "Do you not trust me?"

"It's not about trust, Luigi, it's-"

She was interrupted by Mario stepping up between them heroically, with F.L.U.D.D. attached to his back.

"Be careful, Mario," Luigi warned.

Mario nodded, then ran into the thick of the fire.

After watching him disappear into the flames, Luigi and Kylie stood there alone, unsure of what to do.

Finally, Kylie threw her hands up. "Y'know what? Screw it! I don't care if I get burned! I'm going to do something!"

"Kylie, wait!" Luigi called, but she had already followed Mario into the inferno.

This left Luigi alone, staring at his city, going up in flames. _If I do, I could die. If I don't, I'll feel guilty. If I do, I'll die. If I don't, I wouldn't be helping anybody. If I don't, I won't have proven anything. If I do, I'm a hero. At least...I would've done something._

With new resolve, Luigi ran into the flames. Instantly, he was faced with an unbearable wave of heat. Well, it wasn't completely unbearable, because he was still braving the fire. Pressing onward, he shielded his eyes from the ashes and floating remnants of fallen buildings that were attempting to find refuge in his eyes. Now that he was actually _in _the fire, he didn't know what to do. So he decided to just listen for cries of help.

He stood still, closed his eyes, and listened. He didn't hear cries for help.

What he did hear was the cracking of a building's supports to the left of him. Opening his eyes, he saw a small apartment building toppling in front of him. Running out of the way, he barely cleared the crash zone. The shrapnel sent up by the impact, however, rested upon his shirt, leaving singed marks on the sleeves. His first instinct was to get away from the crashed building, but something kept him near it.

He listened for any sort of distress call from the wreckage. To his dismay, he didn't hear anything. What was worse, was that the smoke was getting into his lungs. He forced out a cough, and set his new goal to getting out of this fire as soon as possible, or things could get a whole lot worse.

His eyes did not want to open. Every time he forced his eyelids up, he was faced with terrible stinging from the smoke in the air. He was blind. "Ma-Mario!" he called between coughs.

He couldn't hear anything. Nothing beyond the crackling of fire and the crumbling of buildings. He resorted to stumbling along a path, hoping he found the exit. His throat was sore, his gloves tinted black from the smoke. Everything his body was experiencing at this moment screamed 'hot'. And he couldn't take it. His weak stumbling quickly turned into a panicked sprint as he took off down the roads, hoping against hope that the next turn he took would lead him to fresh, breathable air. But every turn he took just led him to more flames, more smoke, more unrelenting heat.

Where was he? Where was out? What in the world was he doing here? Being a hero? He coughed violently into his torn shirt. When did his shirt get torn? His head swimming, becoming dizzy from the lack of oxygen, Luigi's run once again deteriorated back into a stumble. Would he make it out alive? Would anyone?

* * *

**Cities on fire have sort of become a trend in my stories...I don't know. This might just be me, but the interactions between characters, their bodies and their reaction to fire is fun to write. I'm not an arsonist or a pyromaniac, I swear. Seriously. I just like describing it.**


	35. Sparky Says

**Fun fact: I write most of these chapters within the browser. And when I make a new document, I use the copy paste feature, and just put in 'H', and then save! So if any of you saw last chapter with just the letter 'H', that's why. Please ignore it if you did, and read it again. There's fire involved. Lots of fire.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 35: Sparky Says**_

_This was a terrible idea, Kylie. Shame on you. Shame._

Kylie's eyes darted from building to building, flame to flame, trying to figure out why the heck she got herself into this. And more importantly, how to get out of it. Covering her mouth with her sleeve, she began running down the first street that occurred to her. She noted with dismay that because of toppled structures and the brightness of fire, she was unable to pinpoint where she was in Toad Town. She was stranded.

"Mario! Luigi! Anybody here-" she was interrupted by a coughing fit. She realized that for the second time in only a few days, her throat was burning, and her eyes were watering yet again. But this time, her life was really in danger.

_What was it that weird anthropomorphic dalmatian said? Stop drop and roll? No...that's what you do when you're _on _fire...Agh! Why couldn't I have gone to school?!_

She kept running, raising her arm sleeve to her mouth, like she had seen in movies. She wasn't sure what this did, but she didn't really have a lot to go off of.

_Maybe...If I stopped running...I could...breathe..._

Smoke filling her lungs, Kylie was unable to keep in motion for very long. Resting her hands on her knees, she bent down to take deep breaths. This turned out to be a bad idea. The breaths that she took didn't do much in the way of oxygen, leaving her no better than she was when she had started to rest. Her head beginning to swim, she collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air. The air seemed cleaner down here.

_Maybe that was what those kids learned..._

Kylie decided sticking to the ground was the best option at this point, and the option that was least likely to get her killed by asphyxiation.

_Being killed by blunt trauma,_ she thought, looking warily at the glowing buildings on either side of her, _is another story altogether._

Crawling along the ground, she tried to keep her eyes open for anything out of the ordinary. She could see some sort of light ahead of her, but with all the smoke in her eyes, she was unable to make out whether it was just another building or a way out.

"Mario...Luigi..." she tried to scream. Her voice came out hoarse, as if she had been smoking nonstop.

_Wait..._

She inched closer to the light, keeping wary of whether it was escape or incendiary. One arm in front of the other, she dragged herself across the warm concrete, not paying heed to anything behind her. Until she felt something very hot touch her shirt. She gave it one look back.

Her shirt was on fire.

"AAH! NO!" she screamed, quickly getting to her feet. She began to frantically try to stamp the fire out with her hands, but this only succeeded in burning them.

_What am I supposed to do?! What do I do?!_ she thought, her mind in a panic. She tried to remember what that weird anthropomorphic dalmatian had said to all the other kids, but she couldn't. Her mind refused to think of anything. All that was really registering was that her shirt was on fire, and her shirt was on fire, in addition to the fact that her shirt was on fire.

And it began to hurt.

"AAGH!" she cried as instinct began to take over. She dropped to the comparatively cold ground, and writhed on it, dragging her torn shirt across the pavement in a wild attempt to put out the fire.

_I can't die like this!_

And as suddenly as it had started, the unbearable heat stopped. She chanced a look down at her clothes. They were torn and singed, and her skin was tinted a bright red. She couldn't feel any pain, though.

"Well," she whispered to herself, "at least there aren't any serious burns..."

Getting into a crawling position again, she winced as her raw knees protested contact with the stone walkway. And she continued to crawl towards the light. And then she saw it move. It was moving towards her.

Kylie ceased movement, and let the light come to her. It was Mario. She looked up at him with tired eyes, and he returned the gaze. He was obviously very tired, and the F.L.U.D.D. on his back was empty, from the looks of it. Bending down, he offered her his hand. She raised her arm and took it. Supported by Mario, Kylie let him lead her through the fire, and finally into fresh air.

Upon reaching grass, Kylie collapsed onto the ground, gasping for fresh air. She followed with a coughing fit, her body trying to exhale all the smoke that it had taken in. She kneeled on the cool grass, panting.

After a few minutes, she caught her breath. Turning to Mario, something hit her.

"Luigi. Where's Luigi?" she asked, looking around, expecting to see him somewhere among the survivors.

Mario stiffened, and looked back at the fire. He gave Kylie a look over his shoulder, and ran back inside.

"Mario, wait! You're gonna kill yourself in there!"

* * *

The F.L.U.D.D. on his back, Mario ran through what used to be a friendly, familiar place in search of his brother. Having fresh air in his body, he was better able to call for him, and did so.

Mario tried to listen past the crackling of the fire, for some sort of a distress call.

"M-M-Mario..." someone called. It was weak and wavering, but it was there. It was Luigi.

Swiveling his head to find the source of the cry, he saw green among the red and orange. Sprinting towards it, he saw Luigi trapped under a sort of wooden pillar. Luigi's eyes connected with Mario's, and the emotion he saw in them...Mario shook his head. He had to get this pillar off of his brother. But looking at it, it was thick. Really thick. He should've borrowed Link's gauntlets when he had the chance...

"C-can't...breathe," Luigi wheezed, his eyes squinted from the smoke. Mario gritted his teeth, grabbed hold of the pillar and lifted with all that he had. It barely budged, but Luigi took what Mario gave him and clawed at the ground, trying to wrest himself out of the grasp of the pillar. Mario's arms screamed in pain, but he kept holding it up as Luigi madly grasped at whatever was near him to help himself out. Mario's hands began to shake, his entire body tense and trembling with effort. He kept a very watchful eye on his brother, waiting for the exact moment he could unload this burden.

Luigi wrested his way out from under the pillar, and scrambled to his feet. Mario, crying out, finally let the pillar drop to the ground. Luigi, clutching his chest, turned to Mario. "Let's get out of here!"

And with Mario leading, they ran back out into the clear sun. Mario and Luigi slowed down to a walk as they cleared the figurative line of fire. Luigi looked up and noticed Kylie, clawing at her eyes, wiping away tears.

"K-Kylie, I'm okay...It's alright, it's over..." he breathed.

Kylie shook her head. "N-no, it's not that."

"What is it then?"

She simply raised her arm at a nearby ambulance. Toad paramedics were bringing a stretcher carrying a Toad into the back of the ambulance. Luigi's jaw dropped, as they solemnly closed the doors, and drove away with the sirens off.

"Was that..." Luigi breathed, apparently unable to take it in.

Kylie nodded, and burst into tears again.

Mario watched the ambulance fade into the distance in silence. He, too, had seen the Toad that was loaded into the ambulance.

It was Krus T.

* * *

**One of the tips that I have never forgotten about writing is that everything has to mean something.**


	36. Sacked

**So...the cliffhanger ends here...Sometimes I wish I wasn't sort of obligated to update every day...Oh, well.**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_**

**_Chapter 36: Sacked_**

The sterile air stung Luigi's face. He didn't like hospitals in the best of times. But this wasn't the best of times, and so he continued. The hallways' lights burned at his eyes, but still he pressed on. This matter was much more important.

"Luigi, I think we missed the reception," Kylie pointed out.

Luigi absently looked at the doors around him, and silently agreed. "Did anyone see a map around here? I'm lost."

Mario shook his head. They had simply followed the ambulance's sound until they reached another town. Now, they weren't exactly sure where this town was, but what really seemed to scare Luigi was how slowly the ambulance drove away

It obviously hadn't been in any hurry.

Kylie pointed back into the hallway. "I think I saw a diagram back there. There were some elevators, too." With that, she turned around. The Mario Bros. exchanged glances and decided to follow her. Upon reaching her, the brothers followed her gaze to the map on the wall.

"Alright. It's on the first floor. Near the front doors," said Kylie.

_Where else would it be? Who suggested we go to the third floor, anyways?_

"Why did you think it'd be on the third floor, Luigi?" Kylie asked, a weak smile on her lips, before she stepped into the elevator.

_Oh,_ Luigi thought, embarrassed. He stepped into the elevator, held the door opened for Mario, and then pressed the '1' button. Luigi felt the room lurch downwards, making him jump a little.

"What do you think happened to her?" Kylie asked quietly. "Do you think it's serious?"

Luigi crossed his arms. "Don't you have some sort of innate knowledge about this? You seem to know a lot of things about a lot of things."

Mario gave him a look.

"No, it's okay," Kylie said, shaking her head. "I feel bad, Luigi. I feel bad that I can't tell you. But this isn't a matter of trust. It's a matter of wanting to live. I'm afraid that if I tell you-"

"What?" Luigi interrupted, irritated. "What's the worst that could happen if you just tell me how you know these things? The end of the world?"

"Yes."

_Ding_...

Luigi didn't speak about it anymore. The three of them walked down the bleach-colored hallway, reaching the reception desk.

"Excuse me, miss?" Kylie asked, dinging the bell on the desk.

Luigi looked around. The place was filled with mourning Toads. Some had their head in their hands, others

"Why is it so deserted in here? There was a disaster nearby," Luigi pointed out, leaning over to Mario...

Wait, what? It's deserted? Why are there no Toads there? There should be...No, sorry. This is unprofessional. Alright. No Toads. Deserted reception room. I can roll with it, I guess.

"Hello, how can I help you?" the receptionist asked, walking up to the desk.

Kylie leaned on the desk. "Yes, actually, we're here to see a patient here. Her name's Krus T."

The receptionist looked at them skeptically. "Don't you have some wounds you want treated first?"

Kylie waved her off. "No, these can wait. Is she here?"

The Toad, giving Kylie a look, checked the computer terminal in front of...Computer terminal? I thought only the Mario brothers had a computer...Agh! Sorry, sorry! Okay...Okay.

"Uh...Yes, there is a Krus T. here. But..." she trailed off.

"But what?" Luigi asked, now interested.

The receptionist frowned. "It...it'd be best if you see for yourself. She's in room...404, on the second floor."

Kylie, Luigi and Mario exchanged glances, then headed to the elevator. Kylie called the elevator, then when it came, they stepped inside. Luigi pressed the '2' button. The room rose.

"What do you think happened?" Luigi asked solemnly

Mario shrugged. Kylie put a hand to her chin. "Well, she _was_ in the fire for a pretty long time, probably. I'd assume she was pretty badly burned. But...she'll be okay."

"How do you know?" Luigi asked.

Kylie simply returned his glance.

_Ding._

The doors opened, and they stepped through. Luigi looked along the top of the hallways, looking for room 404. Mario spotted the room down the hallway, and they walked down in silence. Mario stepped forward and opened the door.

"Oh my God...what happened to her?" Kylie whispered.

Sorry, what? What happened to her? Krus should be fine...what happened? What's going on? She..._What?!_ She...Okay. Krus is in her bed. She's really badly burned, and...Wait, past tense, sorry. Krus was badly burned. She had some sort of apparatus pumping something into her lungs, and a heart rate monitor...no. No, this...this is wrong!

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep_

"What...what does that mean?" Luigi asked quietly.

Kylie's breathing grew heavy. "That machine monitors her heart rate. How fast it's beating...And...if it's just one big beep..."

No! She can't be! She still has more character development! Why is she dead!? I didn't write her to be dead!

Luigi dragged his feet over to Krus' bedside. Tears falling down from his eyes, he laid a gloved hand on her forehead. He bowed his head, and pressed it against the cold blankets.

...

Why can't I see his thoughts? I should be able to. Why not? What the heck is wrong with this chapter?! It's...why are they not doing what I'm telling them to do?! These are _my_ characters! What I write becomes their reality, right?...Right? They're fictional! Pretend! This shouldn't happen!

Unless...

Kylie fidgeted with her hands. She squinted her eyes shut, trying to push back the tears. "She's...gone. Just like that," she whispered, and her head went down as well. Mario, saying nothing, put a hand on Kylie's shoulder.

No, that can't be right. That'd mean...that'd mean Kylie was...and if that's true, then...then I...Oh God.

"No! Krus T., don't leave me!" Luigi cried, sorrow filling his voice. Balling his fist, he pounded the bed, his face still buried in the blankets. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me, please!"

What have I done? What have I doomed her to?

Kylie hid her face in her sleeve, and I heard muffled sobs coming from her. I'm...sorry, I can't get into an omniscient perspective right now...I just...I'm off my game, today, I guess. This isn't the first time. Tomorrow, it'll be different, I promise.

But...what have I done to her? Can I carry through the plot of this story, knowing that she's...

Kylie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.


	37. Grudge

**I'm sorry about the break, guys. I had to get a grip on what happened last chapter. You know how it goes. But I've got a grip now, and I am back. So jolly good show, on with the story, all that.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 37: Grudge**_

Silence reigned in the hospital, or at least it seemed that way to Kylie. Her eyes shut, she struggled to comprehend what had unfolded seconds earlier. The long beep meant that her heart had stopped beating. But...was she really dead?

"No..." Luigi cried, his head buried in the hospital bed that held the corpse of Krus T. "No...please..."

Mario stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. Luigi, his face stained with tears, brought his head up to look up at his brother. Mario gripped Luigi's shoulders, and brought him gently to his feet. Kylie watched wordlessly as Mario put a hand on Luigi's back, and softly nudged him out of the room. He looked back at Kylie, his eyes asking her to follow.

* * *

I never liked hospitals. I mean, sure, they help people who are sick, and dying, and all that, but...their hallways, to me, remind me of death. They're just so...sterile, and white. And the smell of antiseptic, or whatever that stuff is. That smell, it always bothers me.

* * *

They walked solemnly down the hallway, leaving the breathless body of their friend behind.

"Does...anyone know exactly where we are?" Kylie asked quietly.

Nobody answered, telling her that now was not the time. She bowed her head. Listening closely, she could still hear Luigi's sobs.

_Why are they so surprised?_ she asked herself. _It's not like they were actually gonna be able to save her. Krus was doomed as soon as she came in through the emergency entrance, _she thought bitterly.

The elevator dinged, jolting Kylie back to the white hallway. The Mario Bros. stepped into the elevator, and she followed. The elevator, this time around, seemed so much smaller.

"I...never really knew Krus T., but...she seemed like a good Toad," Kylie tried, when she noticed Luigi was no longer leaning on Mario's shoulder.

All was silent for a moment, and Kylie thought once again that she had talked at the wrong time. But Luigi spoke.

"She was good. She was very good. She was the only one who knew my name when I wasn't with you," Luigi replied.

Kylie was taken aback, and looked at Luigi in confusion. That is, until she realized he was looking at Mario.

"So she was a friend?"

Luigi nodded. "Yes, she was. And...I could talk to her. And she'd talk back," he said, looking at Mario with a wry smile that faded in seconds.

Kylie looked at the ground. She felt like she didn't belong in the conversation. She didn't know Krus T. Not like Luigi did.

_Ding_

The elevator doors slid open, and the three of them stepped outside. They were on the first floor again, but the air of urgency that they had earlier was gone. Kylie looked around in vain for any sort of colour or sign of hope for people coming in with hurt relatives. The entire layout of the hospital was sterile, serious, monochromic. White and grey.

She hated it.

_Don't they even realize who's going to be waiting here?_ her mind screamed angrily. _These people need hope! Not grey, white, and powder blue!_

For some reason, they came to the waiting room. Mario and Luigi took a seat on the chairs, and Kylie decided to follow. Kylie assumed Mario and Luigi were sorting out their thoughts. But she wasn't. She knew what happened. Krus T. was taken to the hospital to be treated. They failed. She died. Surprise, surprise.

Kylie scrunched her eyes shut, and tried to convince herself she wasn't in a hospital. It didn't work. So she took out her diary, and began to write.

* * *

I hate hospitals.

I don't know, maybe it's just me. But it makes sense to me, because, when you usually go into a hospital, it's because something's wrong. And sometimes, when you go in, it's because something serious happened, and your friend's weight is on you because she can't stand on her own, or walk on her own, or defend herself from sickos in the alley. And you're carrying her in your arms, and she's whimpering from all the stab wounds, and you're waiting for your number to be called because they didn't think this qualified as an emergency. And the receptionist calls your number, and you go up and tell her what happened, and she says they can't treat her. They can't help her. And they keep talking, spewing medical jargon, but the only thing that sticks in your six-year-old mind is that they refuse to help your dying best friend. And you know you can't take them to your parents; they'd kill her. They'd shoot her. And suddenly you're running through the hallways, ignoring the doctors yelling at you as you try to find an empty room, with those weird beds, hoping against hope that if you put her on one, she'll somehow magically recover, like they do in video games. And your eyes are flitting from room to room to your friend to the blood soaking your hands and her fur, and she stops breathing. And all that's running through your six-year-old mind is that they refused to help. They let your only friend die. And you're alone.

And you walk back home, knowing that coming back to your parents won't be pleasant, but you don't care. You start to blame them. Y'know, 'maybe I wouldn't be so sad if I had other friends, but nooo, friends make you _weak!_ Friends drag you down! You need to be tough, Kylie, you need to be _tough!_' And...maybe, you think, maybe you don't want to be tough. Maybe you want to be weak, just for a few minutes. And so...you stop walking, and you let yourself be weak. You sit down on the curb of the sidewalk, and you let yourself be weak. You cry. But I don't know your life; maybe you hate hospitals for a different reason. Maybe you don't hate hospitals at all. I do.

I really, really hate hospitals.

* * *

She looked up. Both of the brothers had their heads hung.

"Can we get out of here? Please?" she asked, no longer caring about what they thought about the timing of her speech.

Mario looked at her, and nodded. They got up, and left.

* * *

**A chapter of a bit of a...different style. Tell me what you think of it. Until tomorrow, ciao.**


	38. Closure

**You know...reviews are very much appreciated...And I'd be thankful for any kind of them. Seriously, review. I need them. I need a lot of them.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 38: Closure**_

The night air was cold and damp. Wet cement reflected light from the flickering streetlamps, lighting up the road with a soft orange glow. The sound of wind blowing gently, weaving its way through the maze of skyscrapers, filled the air. Above them, the moon shone, cold and distant. Luigi took a deep breath.

_She's gone, Luigi. Crying won't do anything about it._

Luigi began to walk. The liquid mirrors under his boots shattered as he shuffled down the street. He didn't care whether Kylie or Mario decided to follow him or not.

_No, that's not true. I want to be alone._

He stole a look back at them under the shadowy cover of his cap's brim, and he saw that Mario was holding Kylie back. He knew. He understood.

Luigi had to be alone.

His boots clacked on the pavement as he walked down the deserted sidewalk. Looking up, Luigi saw a bus stop. He made his way over and sat down. He had to be alone.

* * *

Dear Krus Toad,

First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was too weak to save you. I should've thought of saving people when I went into that fire, but all I thought of was how I wanted to be as good as Mario. If I had thought about saving you first, you wouldn't have died. But there's nothing I can do about it now. You're up there, in that hospital bed, and there's nothing I can do about it now. So...this letter is to say goodbye, Krus.

You were a good friend to me. You listened when I talked. And you gave your two bits. That's something Mario didn't do. So thank you, Krus. I hope I was as good a friend to you as you were to me. I'd hate it if I was only that young boy that barged in, complained, and drank your tea. You talked to me about stuff, too. I just wish that I could make it up to you. But there's nothing I can do about it now.

No, Krus, Kylie isn't my girlfriend. I also feel like I should tell you that she lied to you about the school project. She's actually from Earth. The same place I'm from. And no, I don't know how she got here. Actually, that's why I'm with her. To help her get back. I know what you're probably asking yourself now. 'Are ye plannin' tae go back s'well?' I don't have an answer yet. I don't know. I might stay here, I might not. But I don't know about Mario.

He's probably going to stay here. He has a lot of weight on his shoulders. He's the racing champ, the top doctor, the best astronaut, renowned Smash Brother, number one plumber, golfer, basketball player, soccer athlete, Olympian, and all around Saviour of the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm his brother, the housekeeper. I have no obligation to stay here except for Mario himself. I can't live without him. As much as I hate to admit it, he's my life. Nearly everything I do revolves around him. But that's normal.

You know, Krus, this thought about leaving never really occurred to me until I imagined you asking the question. It's like you're here with me right now. Maybe that's what I need. Then again, maybe I don't need it. As much as I hate to say it, Krus, you being here just makes it more painful. It makes it harder to let go. So this letter will be the last time I'm going to talk to you, Krus. I need to let you go. Because you're not coming back.

Goodbye, Krus.

~Luigi

* * *

Luigi tore the page out of his diary. He wasn't sure how to send this to her. She was...wherever dead people went. Maybe he should burn it.

He dug into his bag, and found a Fire Flower. Taking it out, he picked up his note with the other hand. Luigi absorbed the flower, and felt the heat surge through his arms. He sat like this for a long time, letter in his right hand, fireball in his left.

"Goodbye, Krus," he whispered.

The letter went up in flames.

Putting out the fire, he picked up his bag and stood up. Kylie and Mario were probably wondering where he was.

The clack of his boots filled the abandoned streets as he made his way back to the flickering lights of the towering hospital.

Sidestepping a manhole leading to the sewers, Luigi came back to the entrance of the hospital. Kylie and Mario were nowhere to be seen.

"Mario! Kylie! Are you here?" Luigi yelled.

The front doors burst open, revealing the harried face of Kylie. "The hospital's gone."

"What?!" Luigi exclaimed, heading towards the door.

Kylie screwed up her face. "Well, not _gone,_ per se, but...it's definitely different."_  
_

Luigi stepped inside, and instantly saw what she meant. The walls, previously clean and white, were now dark, worn, and splattered with an unknown substance. Everything was much more dark and gritty than before. "What do you think happened?"

Kylie shook her head. "I have absolutely no idea. Maybe the Mushroom Kingdom remodeled itself right under our noses."

Luigi didn't like this atmosphere. "Let's get out of here," he suggested.

Mario popped his head back into the foyer from further in. They pushed the no-longer-working automatic doors open, and stepped out once again into the darkening city.

* * *

**Please. Review. It can be anything. Just...I need reviews. I _need them._ More than any of you will ever understand-**

**Sorry. I got a bit carried away. You don't have to revi ewthe mif youdon 'twa ntto.**


	39. Mercy

**Review. Please. Er...I suppose you have your free will, but...reviews are appreciated. Seriously. I need them. More than you can comprehend. I promise you won't regret it. Even if it is for something useless like pointing out the lack of an Oxford Comma. Any reviews are appreciated. Any.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 39: Mercy**_

I knew where we were. But I couldn't tell them. I couldn't tell myself. I can't even let on that I know. Because if I did...

* * *

"Okay. So...let's get back to Toad Town," Kylie suggested.

Luigi turned to her. "Toad Town?"

"Yeah," Kylie affirmed, nodding. "I figure they might want some help restoring it."

Mario gave a nod of approval. Luigi crossed his arms. "Alright. But how do we get back?"

Kylie's mind halted. "Uh..."

Mario tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to see him holding a map of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Kylie squinted. If she was right, it was the one from Partners in Time, judging from the presence of places like Thwomp Mountain and Gritzy Desert. "Look, I know you mean well, but that map's outdated. It's useless."

Mario shook his head, and pointed at the map again. Kylie looked at where he was pointing, and realized what he was trying to say.

Apparently, Luigi got the message as well. "Peach's Castle. It's a landmark. If we get clear of this city, we should be able to see where Peach's Castle is. And if we find Peach's Castle, we find Toad Town."

Mario nodded. They turned, and began to walk.

_Please...no gunfire...no gunfire, please..._Kylie repeated in her head. _If there's gunfire..._

But no gunfire came. There was only silence. Kylie breathed a sigh of relief. All that mattered now was to get to the perimeter of the city. Once they got into proper Mushroom Kingdom, they'd be safe.

It was quiet, walking along the streets in the dead of night. None of them really said anything. Kylie noted that Luigi no longer seemed bothered by Krus T.'s death, so that was good. But she herself couldn't help but feel like she was forgetting something. She made a point of discreetly checking around each corner for...something.

Luigi must've noticed something was wrong. "Kylie, are you okay? You look like a nervous wreck."

"Huh?!" Kylie whipped around to face him. "Oh? No, I'm fine. Just, uh...the pressure of the situation getting to me, I guess."

Mario shot her a doubtful glance, but neither he nor Luigi questioned the subject further.

_I don't like lying to you guys, _she thought, frowning. _But this is for your own good. It's best if you don't know._

"I think we're near the edge of the city," Luigi stated, pointing out grass tinted blue by the moonlight.

Kylie nodded. They picked up the pace, and were soon clear of the cramped urban environment. Kylie took a few seconds to look back to confirm her suspicions.

There was a sign right outside the paved road that was abruptly cut off. "Welcome to Fairfield!" it read. Kylie's eyes widened as she fully realized just what she and the brothers escaped.

"Bad news, Kylie," Luigi sighed. Kylie turned around. She didn't see anything, and in that instant realized the problem.

She didn't see anything.

"We're on the wrong side of the city," she said, disheartened. "We'll have to walk around it until we see Peach's Castle."

Mario shook his head, sighing. He began to walk, followed by his brother and Kylie.

Time and time again, as the trio made their way around the perimeter of Fairfield, Kylie felt her eyes drawn to the large imposing silhouette of the hospital. She shivered as memories came back to her. She never was good with horror games.

The sun began to rise on the grassy field and the out of place city.

"Mario?! What on earth are you doing here?" a familiar voice called.

They turned towards the direction of the voice, and saw a certain Koopa stroll out of Fairfield to meet them.

"Kolorado?" Luigi exclaimed. "I could be asking the same thing!"

"Ah, Luigi! So nice to see you again, chap! Now, ah, I know this is sudden. But might I ask you of a favour?"

"Depends on what the favour is," Kylie stated, "and the difficulty of the favour in relation to our level of strength."

Luigi shot her a glance, but Kolorado didn't seem bothered. "Oh, yes, you're Luigi's sweet-" he stopped suddenly, stealing a look at Luigi. "Er, tourist friend, aren't you? I don't quite remember your name, you'll have to excuse me."

Kylie shook her head. "No, I always forget to introduce myself. I'm Kylie."

"I'd introduce myself, but if memory serves, you already know who I am," Kolorado stated, striking a pose. "I must say, I'm quite flattered."

Mario cleared his throat, jolting Kolorado's memory.

"Ah, yes! The favour! As you no doubt know, places like this...Fairfield...have been popping up all over the Mushroom Kingdom like coins out of a coin block. I've been investigating these places, including Mossdeep City-"

"It's Saffron City, actually," Kylie corrected. "Mossdeep City is on an island, and has a Space Center. Saffron has...uh..." she slowed to a halt as she noticed the questioning stares of everyone present. "I'll shut up now."

"No, no, go on," Kolorado said, waving his hand. "You are a tourist, are you not? This is information I was not aware of before. Tell me, how did you know?"

Kylie dug her foot into the ground. "I...I'd rather not say," she mumbled.

"Ah, a secret source. I don't blame you; you never know who you can trust in the espionage business."

"Espionage?!" Kylie exclaimed. "You think I'm a spy?"

"Why, no! What gave you such an absurd thought that would undoubtedly 'blow your cover'?" he exclaimed loudly, looking around dramatically.

Kylie sighed, rolling her eyes. "What was your favour, Kolorado?"

"Oh! Yes, you'll have to forgive me. I've been quite scatterbrained as of late. Anyways, as I was saying, I came to investigate Fairfield for any archeological finds, and I was not disappointed!" he said happily, shaking his satchel. "Unfortunately, my compass was damaged by...er, impact, and I am unable to navigate. Would you be able to lead me back to Toad Town?"

Luigi laughed lightly. "Actually, we were going there ourselves. You could join us."

Kylie, however, seemed suspicious of his explanation of his broken compass. If it was broken by what she thought it was broken by, he couldn't come. It'd be too dangerous for them.

"Hey, do you have any injuries? Cuts or...bite marks?" Kylie asked offhandedly.

"Bite marks? Heavens, no!" he laughed. "Where do you think I've been, dear? This city is deserted! Anywho, onward ho, wot!"

Kylie gave him an uneasy glance, but decided it could wait for later. They continued their walk around the perimeter, looking for the three-spired outline of Peach's Castle, three of them unaware of the fourth's praying for nothing to breach the city walls.

* * *

**Review, please. Just thought I'd remind you. It's very important. Very, very, very important. Very, very, very, very, very, very.**


	40. Gunfire

**eviewr**eviewr****eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr**eviewr****eviewr**eviewr****eviewr**********************************evie******

* * *

_******Canon Fodder******_

_******Chapter 40: Gunfire******_

The city, though the waning moon shone above it, seemed to be eternally dark. The imposing outline of the towering hospital dominated the horizon. Looking close, Luigi could've sworn he saw flickering letters on the side of the building.

"ME...Y H...SP...AL," Luigi spelled out under his breath. "What could that be?"

"Watcha lookin' at, Greenie?" Kylie asked, jolting Luigi back to reality.

"Oh, just the hospital. It's...pretty huge, compared to the other buildings, don't you think?"

Kylie's eyes flickered an unknown emotion for a moment, then returned to their previous state of polite attentiveness. "Yeah. Kind of weird, huh? I mean, I live in a small town, so our hospital's only one floor. It doesn't even have a maternity ward."

"Those letters, though," Luigi continued. "What do you think they say? The flickering ones, on the side of the hospital. What do they say?"

Kylie's eyes again flashed the unknown emotion, a bit longer this time. "Uh...no idea. Sorry!"

With that, she picked up the pace, and rejoined Mario and Kolorado near the front. Luigi frowned. Something was up with her.

The night was quiet. There wasn't much conversation as they made their way around the city. At some point, Luigi decided he didn't want to bring up the back of the pack and caught up to Mario, Kylie and Kolorado. Kylie and Kolorado were having a conversation. Normally, Luigi would've joined in, but his suspicions about Kylie and what she was hiding made him hold back.

Kolorado was in the middle of a sentence. "Normally, I wouldn't. I do train for these types of situations, you know. Endurance, bravery, combat-"

"Combat?" Kylie interrupted. "What would you need to combat in there? It's deserted."

Kolorado said nothing. He simply stared at Kylie, and shook his head slightly. Luigi couldn't see his face, though, so he wasn't able to tell what emotion he was wearing.

"It isn't deserted, my dear. There is a reason I wanted to travel with this group. Safety in numbers, you know," he said, taking a quick glance over his shoulder at Fairfield.

Kylie's shoulders tensed up. "It's...not deserted? What do you mean?"

"I heard noises. Scary, scary noises. Growls and gurgles, coughs and hacks, and groaning..." he said, shivering. "So many groans..."

Kylie gulped audibly. "G-groaning? You didn't happen to hear...gunfire, did you?"

"Gunfire? No. But...I knew for a fact I was not alone in that city..."

"Hey, Mario? Maybe we should get away from the city perimeter a bit..."

"To anyone who can hear this!" a radioed voice rang out from within Fairfield. "Proceed to Mercy Hospital for evacuation! Repeat: proceed to Mercy Hospital for evacuation!"

"Oh, God..."

As she turned around to face Luigi to tell him something, Luigi finally recognized the emotion in her eyes.

Pure, bone-chilling fear.

* * *

_Earlier..._

The setting sun cast an orange tint on the windows of the towering buildings. Kolorado was just about finished with his expedition, too. It was perfect timing. Now all he had to do was get back to Toad Town to get all his artifacts analyzed by experts-

_Rrrrrrr_

Kolorado whipped around quickly, ready to run away from whatever made that noise. But there was nothing. But to be safe, he looked around, and found a frying pan on the ground. He picked it up, and waved it around a bit to get a feel for his impromptu weapon.

"Here's to hoping I must never use this," he mumbled, before continuing onward.

Now that he thought about it, the places that he had investigated did have strange substances on the walls. He couldn't quite place what it was then, but now, with an imminent threat hanging over his head from one growl, he was quite sure what it was.

Blood.

Gripping the handle of the pan tightly with his hands, he looked down at the utility compass attached to his belt. East, if he remembered correctly, was the way back to Toad Town. Now if he

_Grrrrrrrr..._

It was back. Whatever that thing was was back.

* * *

"Kylie...what's in that city?" Luigi asked, his tone measured and deliberate. "Don't lie. Don't say you don't know. I know you do."

Kylie hung her head. "Alright. I thought if...I didn't mention it...they wouldn't be there...but they are...it's happening..."

"What's happening?!"

"No Mercy!" she looked up and whispered frantically. "No Mercy!"

"What are you talking about!?" Luigi yelled, grabbing hold of her shoulders.

"Shhh! They can hear us...they have really good hearing..." she whispered, running a hand through her hair. Frazzled, she turned back around to Mario and their companion. "K-Kolorado...I have a really important question for you. And I need you to answer truthfully. How...did that compass break?"

* * *

"Who's there?" Kolorado called, his voice trembling. "Show yourself!"

Growling echoed, bouncing off the sharp edges of the buildings around him. He couldn't see anything; it was too dark. The sun had set.

_GrrrRRRrrRRrrr..._

The voice didn't even sound sentient. It was distorted, as if their throat was warped. He heard something crawling on the ground near him. Whipping each way, Kolorado's wild eyes darted back and forth, trying to find the source of the growling.

"I'm armed!"

_RRRRRYYAAAAAAGHH!_

"AAIIIEE!" Kolorado screamed, dropping his frying pan. Hitting the ground with a loud _klang_, Kolorado twisted his head around, looking for the threat. Seeing nothing, he bent down to pick up the frying pan.

Time stopped. Kolorado heard the scrabbling of long fingernails as they propelled their host into the air. The sound of shoes slamming into the pavement as something rushed towards him at top speed. The metallic whine of the pan as it was lifted from the rocky cement. The roar of a dark, hooded figure with long, spindly arms outstretched to greet him. The piercing feeling of claws as they dug into his waist, threatening to tear his belt apart. The unmistakable twang of metal as the frying pan he didn't even know he had swung hit its mark. The thump of a dead body hitting the ground.

Breathing heavily, Kolorado dropped the pan. He stared down at his predator. It was wearing a ripped hoodie, tied down with rings of duct tape. Long, jagged fingernails sprouted from small, bony, grey hands.

_Was he alive?_

Kolorado had to get out of here. He checked his compass.

It had a hole in it. The paper showing the direction was torn, making the needle useless. The...hunter must've punctured it. Angrily, he flipped it back up into his belt.

He had to get out.

* * *

"Hunter..." Kylie's glazed eyes stared down at her shoes. Her breath was quick and shallow. She seemed in danger of hyperventilating. Her skin white, her hands clenched, her shoulders bunched up to her neck. "Hunter...that's it...that's his name...Hunt. Smoke. Boom. Witch. Tank."

"Kylie, are you alright?"

"Tank. Tank. We need to go," she murmured, her head shooting up to lock eyes with a now terrified Luigi. Her hair was frazzled, as if it had been electrified, and her voice... "We need to go now. Now. Tank. We can't see a Tank. No Tank. No guns, no Tank, right? The Designer wouldn't have it any other way, right? Tank equals death. Simple math. Witch equals death. Hunter equals death. Boomer Smoker death Spitter death Jockey Charger death death. Right? Left dead left left left dead. We need to go. Right?"

Luigi, Kolorado, and Mario helplessly watched Kylie's apparent descent into madness, orchestrated by the distant sounds of gunfire.

* * *

**ewreview**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewrevi**ewreview******************************************


	41. Trauma

**Review please. Please.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 41: Trauma**_

Kylie gripped her shoulders, whispering to herself. "Better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry, better safe than sorry, no...Kolorado isn't infected, is he? No, he's fine. He has to be. He's with us right now. If he was infected, we'd be infected too. Carriers? Are we carriers? Immune? Better safe than sorry...We need to go. We need to go right now, right? Right. Left. Left. Left. Left. Dead-"

"Kylie!" Luigi interrupted. She whipped her head to face him. "Take deep breaths, please! You're freaking me out!"

Her eyes were glazed over. She didn't hear him. What did he say? Was it important? No. The only thing important is getting to Mercy Hospital - NO. AWAY FROM FAIRFIELD.

"Where are the spires of Peach's Castle? Didn't we see them?" Luigi asked.

"It'd be hard to spot them in this dark light," Kolorado said sadly. "I'm afraid we'll have to wait till the sunrise."

Kylie's trembling doubled. She was not ready to spend moonhigh to sunrise right next to this cursed city. "Prepare for the horde...prepare for the horde...Quiet, I hear a Witch, shut that light off..."

"What are you talking about?!"

Kylie froze. Crying. She heard crying. "Do you hear that?" she whispered.

"Hear what?" Luigi asked, annoyed.

"Shh! I don't know if she can hear you or not!"

"Who can or can't hear us, Kylie?"

"The...Witch..." she hissed. Slowly, shakily, she raised a finger to a road leading out into the grassy plain.

There, illuminated under a flickering streetlight, was a sobbing, woman, wearing shredded clothes. Her face was hidden by long fingernails and wiry white hair. Her skin was a sickly grey, and her cries broke the silence of the midnight air.

"It's somebody in trouble! We should-"

"Stay the _heck_ away. You get close to that thing, and...and..."

Kylie's head began to swim. Nightmares. She felt her thoughts slipping away, giving way to tangents.

"...two seconds...one thousand hitpoints...can't crown it, we don't have a shottie...where's my combat...combat..."

Luigi grabbed Kylie's shoulders and shook her violently. "Don't go back to being insane! We need you! You're the only one who-"

"Rrah?!" the woman turned to face them, her eyes glinting yellow in the streetlight. All four of them froze.

"Don't...move..." Kylie whispered. "She'll go back to crying if we're lucky."

"And...if we're not lucky?" Kolorado asked shakily.

"Whoever disturbed her dies an agonizing death nearly instantly. That'd...that'd be you, Luigi."

Luigi gulped.

* * *

There's four of us. Just like in the game. The stars are lining up in all the wrong ways. I really hope we can last until sunrise...even if we don't have weapons.

* * *

For what felt like forever, the five of them stood there, motionless. The witch stared at Luigi with eyes of hatred, and it began to growl louder.

"Not good...not good..." Kylie repeated. "Back away slowly, all of you. Just leave it alone."

"Kylie, I'm scared," Luigi stammered.

Kylie nodded. "So am I."

As they took their steps backward, the Witch stopped growling. Soon enough, she hunched over again, and her sobs once again filled the air.

Kylie sighed in relief. "You're in the clear, Luigi. We're all okay. We'll all be okay."

"**GG**G**R**RR**AA**A**AH**HHA**AA**HH**G**H**!**"

"TAANK!" Kylie screamed involuntarily.

The Witch sprang up under the streetlight, and Kylie's heart dropped. She was dead. She was going to die. The witch was going to tear her limb from limb and she would never see the light of day again.

The Witch, however, had different plans. A huge, muscular..._thing_ came from the road, and roared at the Witch. Screaming, she rushed towards the Tank with blinding speed, and jumped on its head, which it began to claw at.

"Okay! Time to go!" Kylie exclaimed, and she started running. She looked back and found Luigi, Mario, and Kolorado hot on her heels.

After a while, Kylie stopped running. "I...I...haah..." she panted, holding up a finger. "After all...this, I'm...still not...fit. I...think we're in...the clear for real."

"Alright. Kylie, this needs to stop. All this needs to stop now, or I'm afraid we're all going to be in constant danger," Luigi said lowly. "How do you know all this? About...Tanks, and Witches? And...shotties? What are they, and how do you know about them? Is this what Earth is like now?"

"Luigi, you know I can't-"

"No, Kylie! If I'm going to keep going, I need to know!" Luigi yelled, balling up his hands.

_This is it..._she thought. _I can't lie to him any longer. If I get ripped apart with the fabric of the universe...No. I just have to hope to heaven and back that doesn't happen._

"Alright, Luigi. I'll tell you. Everything I know about this," she gestured to Fairfield, "about Radish Ruins, where we met Kolorado, how I knew about Kolorado, how I knew about Mario, you, Saffron City and Mossdeep City...It's because..."

_How do I put this?...There's no light way to do it._

"It's because I'm the only one here that's real."

* * *

**Review. Do it. I need them. More than any of you could possibly comprehend.**


	42. True or False?

**Alright, I'm back, guys! After...well, after that fiasco with the characters doing something different than what I told them to do, I was...a little flustered, to say the least. And I found I couldn't write Canon Fodder. So I got my co-author Chaos7 to write this story for me. He has...a bit of a different writing style than I do; I wonder how many of you even noticed? But anyways. He was unavailable for a few days, hence the last two days being un-fanfic-filled. But I've recovered from my stupor, and Multikirby's back, baby! Yeah!**

* * *

**_Canon Fodder_**

**_Chapter 42: True or False?_**

"It's because I'm the only one here that's real."

Luigi rolled his eyes as Mario and Kolorado looked at Kylie in confusion.

"I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. Did you just imply...we're fake?" Kolorado asked, more perplexed than offended.

Luigi crossed his arms. "Of course not. She's just saying that because she doesn't want to tell us the truth."

Kylie's eyes, which had been squinted shut, opened carefully. Standing up straight, she shifted her eyes from the sky, to the far off hills, as if looking for something. Seeming satisfied, she let out a breath. "No, I'm serious. Or...well, I admit, it's a bit of a radical way to put it."

"I would certainly say so!" Kolorado agreed, chuckling a bit.

"Okay. The world isn't crashing down around our heads, and I was pretty obvious, so...I guess I can tell you," Kylie said, nodding to herself. She looked at Luigi. "Look. It's hard to take, and I didn't really put it in the best way. But to my world's standards, everyone here except me is a work of fiction. Now I'm not saying that's true," she corrected herself, waving her hands frantically as she saw Mario's expression grow more doubtful, "because that would mean that I'm a work of fiction, too, which I know I'm not."

Luigi threw his hands up. "How does that have anything to do with knowing things you shouldn't know?"

"I'm getting to that!" Kylie scolded. "As you know, Luigi, I'm from Earth. But...Oh, man, this is going to get messy..."

Mario looked at the rising sun, realizing that they could easier spot the spires of Peach's Castle in the orange horizon. He motioned for them to walk as Kylie explained.

"Okay. Where I'm from, all of you are part of a series of video games. You are familiar with the concept of video games, right?" Kylie asked, looking past Mario at Luigi. He nodded, his expression still disinterested.

"So you mean to say that we are simply characters made for the enjoyment of children?" Kolorado's expression, however, was decidedly more horrified than Luigi's.

"Mario especially. He's the protagonist of most of these games. That's the name of the series, you know. Super Mario. It has a few variants. Like you, Kolorado, were in the video game Paper Mario. And Luigi, your adventure cleaning out the mansion you won in a contest you never entered? That game's Luigi's Mansion."

Luigi began to frown. "So all of our adventures are played out by little kids? Every single one?"

"Hey, I resent that!" Kylie huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "I play those games, too. But I don't think it's all of them. As far as I know, this," she gestured to herself, Luigi, Mario, Kolorado, and Fairfield, "never happened. Otherwise, I would've heard about it."

"You know all this stuff, then, because you saw it in a video game," Luigi asked, still unconvinced. "Look. You haven't told me this entire time, and I know you have your reasons. But if you're going to tell the truth, tell the truth. Don't try to trick me with this sort of stuff."

Kylie looked at Luigi sadly, but said nothing.

Kolorado, however, spoke up. "I say she makes quite a bit of sense, my boy!" he exclaimed. "How else would he know about that...Witch...that we saw earlier? I know for a fact that it has never existed in the Mushroom Kingdom or surrounding areas...ever. It has a much grittier and bonier structure than even the literal reanimated skeletons that we have inhabiting castles and haunted houses. Therefore, I don't believe it, or it's hooded counterpart to be anywhere near the Mushroom Kingdom. And yet Kylie knew exactly what to do when it spotted us."

"About that, actually," Kylie said sheepishly, shuffling her feet as she walked. "I've been thinking about the places we've visited, Luigi, and what they have in common. I've been thinking about why I woke up in Saffron City. I've been thinking about a lot of things, and...I don't have all the answers yet. I don't know any connection between the places we've visited. But I want to find out."

"So you don't know everything, then?" Luigi asked.

"Of course not!" Kylie laughed. "No! I just have intuition and stuff."

Luigi wasn't angry. He was just disappointed. But he had already said what he was thinking now, so he decided to just keep quiet about his doubts. Mario made an exclamation, and pointed over the horizon. Luigi followed his finger, and saw the unmistakable outline of the castle. They were homefree.

Luigi looked over at Kylie, who was having a chat with Kolorado. Was she lying? He shook his head. For a lie, it was pretty out there, especially when he remembered how easily she had lied to Krus T. when they had first met. Why would she make this one so unbelievable? Luigi sighed. If she wasn't going to tell him, she wasn't going to tell him. For now, he decided to let it go.

But he would find out what she was hiding. One way or another.

* * *

**Again, sorry for being gone so long. And sorry if Chaos7 was a little demanding with reviews. While they are appreciated, he was laying it on a little thick. So sorry about that.**


	43. Something Important

**Y'know, these things are still primarily here to make sure the 'Canon Fodder' stays centered. If it wasn't here, it'd be askew. The More You Know.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 43: Something Important**_

Kylie stole a look at Luigi. He had a look in his eyes she didn't like, as if he was more than just suspicious. Redirecting her attention to the silhouette of the castle in front of her, she decided she'd talk to him later.

"Well, I'd like to thank all three of you for helping lead me back here," Kolorado said graciously, bowing his head, as they came closer to the castle and Toad Town. "I would probably be in a very dire situation had you not come along."

Luigi smiled, the acidic look gone from his eyes. "We wouldn't have just left you there, right, Mario?"

Mario nodded enthusiastically.

"Actually, before we get to Toad Town, I've been meaning to ask you, Kylie," Kolorado continued, turning his head in her direction. "That Fairfield...what exactly do you know about it, my dear?"

_Oh, boy. I gotta keep this E for Everyone, huh?_ "It's...um...Well, obviously, you don't want to be there for an extended amount of time. That zombie thing you saw, and the two that we saw, were victims of an illness called the Green Flu. It mutates your body. It's gross. And that place, Fairfield, itself..." Kylie paused, not knowing how to continue. "I may be wrong, but I think it's actually modeled after a real town on Earth."

"Astounding!" Kolorado breathed. "So if I were to investigate that town, we could divine what Earth itself is like?"

Kylie bit her lip. "...Probably not, actually. First of all, as I said, don't go there. Ever again. Secondly, it's _modeled_ after the city, so it's not the actual city itself. Whatever you'd find probably wouldn't properly show what Fairfield's actually like."

Kylie, once again, looked over her shoulder at Luigi. He was scowling. At first, Kylie was put off, but then she realized what this must sound like to him. She was feeding Kolorado lies from Luigi's perspective. She'd definitely talk to him about it later.

Still, she felt like she was forgetting something.

The four of them passed in front of Peach's Castle, and quickly found themselves on the road to Toad Town.

"Well, this is where our paths part," Kolorado said, saluting the three of them. "Thank you for all of your help; I can handle myself from here. Cheerio!"

As they watched Kolorado walk off into the main square of the half-rebuilt Toad Town, Kylie found herself at a loss.

_What do we do now? We only found ourselves in Fairfield because we followed the ambulance, which was because Toad Town was on fire,_ she thought. We_ discovered that after Doopliss left, which happened after we found Luigi. So...what was I doing before then?_

"Kylie?" Luigi asked quietly.

She turned around to face him. "What's up?"

"Do you remember what we were doing before you...before we got separated?"

Kylie suppressed a laugh. "Actually, I was just thinking about that. But I can't actually-"

"Remember Blackfire Crater?"

Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't belong in the Mushroom Kingdom. She was trying to get home to Earth. Back to her parents, back to Masachussettes.

"Shoot," she whispered. "I completely forgot."

"There isn't anything standing in our way now. We could go right over and see if your portal thing is there," he suggested.

Kylie blinked, and time slowed to a crawl.

_There's nothing in our way now. We could go there, and if we see the portal, the adventure ends. I'm back on Earth, and everything goes back to normal...Isn't that what I wanted from the start? Why did my heart shoot up into my throat? Why am I feeling sick at the possibility of going home? Isn't that what I wanted? What's wrong with me?_

"Y-yeah, we could," she whispered, her eyes staring off into nothing. "We could go right over and see if my portal thing is there."

Mario, who had walked on without them, turned around when he had noticed Luigi and Kylie weren't behind him. He called to them, getting their attention.

"Alright, Mario! We'll be right there!" Luigi called, before looking back at Kylie, a melancholy look overtaking his face. "It, uh...it might not be there."

Kylie nodded uncertainly. "Maybe."

Luigi took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I don't know if you're telling the truth or not, Kylie. But I've never let it bother me this much. If you don't want to tell me...that's fine. And maybe you already have, and honestly," Luigi stopped to chuckle a bit. "I don't know which possibility's worse; that you're lying, or telling the truth. But even with my doubts, you're a good person, and I shouldn't hate you for only one thing you did, especially if I'm not certain if you actually _did_ it or not. So..."

"It's a hard truth to take," Kylie agreed. "And maybe it is best for you to feign ignorance. And if-"

Mario interrupted their conversation, asking what the holdup was. Luigi and Kylie looked his way, and decided it could wait. So the three of them headed back to Mario's house for the final time, all of them forgetting one important thing as they left the charred, black buildings of the decimated Toad Town behind them.

* * *

**For those of you who want action...you'll get it. You'll get it good. Don't you worry.**


	44. Fade to Blackfire

**This story's just getting started, guys. We're really getting into it now!**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 44: Fade to Blackfire**_

Kylie was the last to step through the doorway into the Mario Bros' house. She closed the door behind her, and looked up to see Mario already raiding the cupboards for snacks. It was a funny habit of his, and though it was obvious Luigi didn't quite endorse it for its promotion of unhealthy eating habits, it made Mario happy.

Kylie sat down at the dining room table. "Okay. So...I guess we head to Blackfire Crater and see what's going on there, right?"

"Yeah," Luigi nodded, sitting down across from her, watching Mario gorge himself out of the corner of his eye. Kylie looked over at the kitchen to watch Mario gorge himself. Maybe this was why he never looked any thinner from all his walking and jumping around.

Kylie rested her head in her hands. She smiled sadly. "We never really got the chance to explore Blackfire Crater, huh?"

"You didn't. I was...too distracted to explore it on my way out," Luigi said.

Mario sat down beside Luigi, munching on a mushroom.

Kylie sat up straight. "How can you eat those nonstop? They're gross."

Mario suddenly stopped chewing. He stared straight at Kylie, and didn't stop. Without looking away, he took a Super Mushroom, and pushed it across the table, in front of Kylie. She raised an eyebrow, and her eyes flitted from the mushroom to Mario.

"Uh-uh. No way."

Mario simply nodded at the mushroom.

Kylie shook her head. "I've already tried them. And they're-"

"He's not going to let this go, Kylie," Luigi said, smiling. "He's going to keep at it until you eat that mushroom."

Kylie stared at him pleadingly. "...All of it?"

Mario nodded. Kylie sighed, defeated, and picked up the mushroom. Staring at it, she turned it around.

"B-but it has eyes..."

"They're aesthetic," said Luigi, waving it off.

Kylie frowned as she turned the mushroom around. Luigi pulled out his diary while waiting for her to finish. He began writing. For some reason, this annoyed Kylie. Nonetheless, she could feel Mario's eyes boring into her skull, so she took a small bite. Instantly, she felt a shiver crawl up her spine. She didn't like mushrooms at the best of times, and this was no different. Taking another bite, she convulsed again. Shaking her head and screwing up her face, she made eye contact with Mario, whose expectant expression had not changed.

Luigi looked up from writing in his diary. "You need to eat the whole thing before it takes effect."

Kylie looked at the half of the Super Mushroom in her hands. Deciding it'd be easier to get out of the spotlight if she did it quickly, she stuffed the rest of it in her mouth, and chewed furiously. Thirty seconds of the mushroom's taste filling her mouth, and she swallowed.

"Gah!" she gasped, rushing into the kitchen. She threw open the doors of the cupboards, looking for the cups. Her eyes locking onto a glass like an eagle to a shrew, she snatched the cup and clumsily put it under the tap, before turning on the water. Impatiently, her eyes watched the glass fill up as the aftertaste of the Super Mushroom lingered on her tongue. Deciding quickly it was good enough, she downed the water in record time, gulping it down in a desperate effort to get the mushroom's flavour out of her mouth. Setting the glass down on the countertop, she gasped for breath. Bristling, she heard laughter from the table.

Kylie opened her mouth to say something to the laughing brothers, but closed it when she realized how ridiculous she must've looked. Letting out breath she didn't know she had been holding, she smiled.

"Okay, okay. I ate your stupid mushroom. Now are we going to figure out what we're going to do or what?"

Luigi stood up, and passed Kylie, going down into his library. "I'll be right back."

Kylie sat down at the dining room table again, across from Mario. She pursed her lips when she realized he was smiling wryly underneath his mustache.

"Oh, you enjoyed that, huh?" Kylie asked sarcastically. "D'you think it'd be as funny if you had a bowl of Superspicy Curry?"

Mario, looking up, nodded his head slowly, as if admitting her point.

"Hey, Mario! Go check the mail for a new atlas!" Luigi's voice came from downstairs.

Mario, giving a look at Kylie, got up and went to the front door. Kylie, with nothing better to do, got out her diary.

* * *

I'm, uh...actually at a bit of a loss of what to write other than a summary of what happened today. A while ago, I would've said this experience feels so unreal. But if I'm going to be honest, this is most of what I remember, thinking back. My family life, back in Massachusetts seems like a bit of a blur compared to this. I mean, here, every day's different, distinct, daring, uh...descriptive...? Well, it's a stark contrast to Earth life. Back there it's a basic formula of wake up, skip breakfast, go to school, skip lunch, come back home, train with parents, convince them it's time for dinner, more endurance training, gaming, bed. This seems really weird to write, especially considering the circumstances, but this feels more real than Earth. Which is super weird.

* * *

Kylie stared down at her diary, tapping her pen to her chin.

Mario came back clutching a large book in his arms. He called to Luigi, who was still down in the library, and he was quickly up and back at the dining table.

"How do they get these done so quickly?" Kylie asked, staring in wonder at the large book in front of her.

"Satellite images and coffee," Luigi explained as he flipped the book open.

Kylie made a face.

Luigi pointed at the map of the entire Mushroom Kingdom. "Okay, good. Blackfire Crater is still there. Look, they've documented Fairfield, too."

"Really? What'd they say about it?" Kylie asked, her interest piqued.

Luigi looked at her. "Not to go there. What else?"

Kylie nodded. "That's good. We can't have another incident like Kolorado's happening. So anyways, what's the plan? We head out to Blackfire Crater tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that'd be the best plan. If the Deus is there, we don't know how long it'll stay. So it'd be best to go there as soon as possible," Luigi agreed.

Kylie stretched. "Alright. Well, I guess I'll sleep in the library again. You still have that spare toothbrush, right, Mario?"

Mario gave a quick glance to Luigi, but nodded.

"'Kay. See ya in the morning. G'night."

* * *

**They're still forgetting something...or some things...**


	45. I'm Half Crazy

**Dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN DUN _DA da da...! DA da da...! DA da da...! _Da dum!...That was Mission Impossible. These things never work out in text, do they? Eh. This whole thing is for filler anyways. By the way, this chapter title's a hint to something I've been hinting at these last few chapters.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 45: I'm Half Crazy**_

"Good morning!" Kylie called from downstairs, jolting Luigi awake. Carefully taking the covers off, he looked down over the railing at the kitchen.

"What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"One in the afternoon," Kylie said absently, looking at the stove clock.

Luigi's head felt like it imploded. "_What?!_"

Panicked, he stole a glance at Mario's bed while getting dressed. Good, he was still asleep. Maybe if he worked quickly to make breakfast, Mario wouldn't notice that Luigi had-

Why was Mario sleeping at one in the afternoon?

Sighing, he looked back down at Kylie, who had a huge grin on her face.

"What time is it?"

"Seven o' two."

"Okay, good," Luigi wiped his brow, and put his hat on. He climbed down the stairs, and began making breakfast.

"So..." Kylie sat down at the kitchen counter. "Today's a big day, huh? The day we see if I was right about Blackfire Crater."

Luigi stared into the eggs he was cooking. "Yeah...It won't take as long this time, huh?"

"As long as we don't run into that weird whispering dude again," Kylie said, resting her head in her hands.

_The adventure might be over,_ Luigi thought as he stared down at the sizzling substance in the pan. _Today might be the last day of my shining moment...and it might be the last day I see Kylie ever again...I hope the Deus thing isn't there-_

"Agh!" Luigi gasped, pulling his hand away from the pan.

Kylie sat up. "Something wrong?"

"No, just...the pan's hot," Luigi said, gesturing to his singed gloves.

_What are you thinking, Luigi? That's selfish! Why do you not want her to go home? You made a promise, Luigi, that you'd do everything in you power to get her home. And hoping she doesn't? You're disgusting!_

_But I didn't shine. I barely did anything. I just followed Kylie around until she died. And when I found her I followed her around some more. Kylie's the shining star, not me.  
_

_And so you want to keep her here until you can play the big hero? Listen to yourself! What about her family, Luigi? What about her friends?_

_Am...am I not her friend?_

_Oh, that's what this is, then? You're keeping her here because you're lonely? Because Krus T. died!?_

"AGGH!" Luigi yelled hanging his head, tears falling from his face, evaporating on the scorching surface of the stove.

"Luigi!" Kylie got up from her chair and went over to Luigi's side. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I-I-I'm fine," Luigi forced out. "I'm fine. Just...give me a minute, the burn was worse than I thought. I'm g-gonna go get some Refreshing Herbs."

Luigi ran down into the library, and closed the door at the bottom of the stairs. He threw himself on the couches by the coffee table, and buried his head in his knees.

_No! That's not why!_

_Which one, Luigi? Are you selfish or possessive? Maybe both, Luigi. Maybe you're both._

_Shut up! I'd be fine if Kylie went back! I'd be fine if she went back to Earth today!  
_

_Don't lie to yourself, Luigi. You would not be fine, and we both know it._

_I'm not selfish! I'm not possessive!_

_You're lonely._

Luigi's head lifted up slightly from his knees.

_It's alright, Luigi. You're lonely. You don't want her to go because she's your friend. And when she leaves, you're going to lose something. You can't help feeling this way, Luigi. But you can't let this hold her back. This is her decision. And if she goes back to Earth...she goes back to Earth._

Luigi, wiping the tears from his eyes, nodded slowly. He understood now. He went back upstairs to make breakfast.

* * *

Luigi, Mario and Kylie looked at the northern desert stretching out in front of them.

"Blackfire's thataway, huh?" Kylie asked.

Luigi nodded. "You ready?"

"Yep. You?"

"I would've liked to pack more-"

"Don't start that up again. Let's go!" Kylie smiled, and the three of them began the walk to Blackfire Crater.

* * *

The setting sun illuminated two lone figures on Vista Hill. They sat at the bench, overlooking the remains of Bowser's Castle. The taller one sighed sadly.

"He forgot," she said.

The shorter one looked up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I went to Bowser's Castle for a reason, y'know. I was trying to find Mario."

"So you went to Bowser's Castle? Gee, your logic is just grand."

The taller one glared at the other, and he shut up.

"I was looking for Kamek. Apparently, he was the last one to see Mario before he disappeared."

"Okay, but who forgot? You didn't say anything about him."

"...We said that we'd meet back here in three days. And...he isn't here."

"Maybe he's dead."

The taller one was going to give a sharp retort, but realized that the child was going through the same doubts. "He's not dead. I saw plastic wrap around his house a while ago. The last time I checked, it was an intact window. Someone probably broke into his house, and he came back to fix it."

"Well, why'd he forget? Is he an airhead or something?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's held up somewhere. But...Luigi's tough. He may not look it, and he'd never tell you, but he's tough. He can hold his own," she said slowly, as if trying to convince herself.

"Yeah, and if he can't, he's a great runner," the child chuckled.

"That's true," the girl replied.

There was a long silence between the two.

"Daisy?"

"Yes, Junior?"

"Do you think my dad's okay?"

Daisy looked down at Bowser Jr. "Do you think Bowser can be taken down by fire alone?"

"Pssh, naw!" he said, laughing. "He's been plunged into lava countless times! A fire can't do him in! But..."

"But what?"

"He...he's never been away this long. He's always come back, and...if he's not...if he's not back, that means..."

"Bowser Jr." Daisy stated. "Is your dad king?"

Bowser Jr. glared up at her. "What're you trying to say?! You don't think he's king!"

"Okay, let me rephrase that," Daisy said slowly. "Do you believe your dad is a king?"

"Well...He's tough. He's really really tough. And he never gives up, ever. And he's a good leader. And...yeah. He's a king."

"And would a king leave his son?"

"No. Every one of a king's subjects is important to him!"

"Then he's doing everything in his power to get back to you. He may be a princessnapper, and he may have a nasty reputation, but there's good in him. Somewhere."

Bowser Jr. sniffed. "Sh-shut up. No th-there's not," he said between sobs. "There's no g-g-good in him anywhere. He's evil...evil to...to the..."

Daisy stiffened as she felt the Koopa Kid hug her. "J-Junior?"

"...Thank you, Princess Daisy..." he whispered, so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"You're welcome...ya little brat," she said, smiling lightly.

Bowser Jr. let go of Daisy, then stared straight ahead. "This never happened. I didn't hug you. I didn't say thanks."

Daisy rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the likes of you...**


	46. Action!

**Lights...camera...**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 46: Action!**_

"Here we go again..." Kylie breathed, watching the sandy expanse in front of her. "You guys see any change in the environment in the last two hours?"

Mario shook his head. Luigi took a look backwards, and agreed.

Kylie sighed. "So we might be going in circles, then." She looked up at the overcast sky, frowning. _This weather's great for walking through a desert, but it sucks for navigation. _She decided not to think too hard about where the moisture that made the clouds came from.

Hours passed. The sun's blocked light sank lower into the horizon. Kylie was beginning to get frustrated.

"Okay, idea. Uh...Alright, that's it!" she called, enunciating every word. "There's nothing here! We're going back to Toad Town!" She turned around, walked a few steps, and turned around again.

Still nothing. "Shoot, I thought that would work."

"Kylie?" Luigi asked quietly.

"What?" Kylie asked happily, turning to face him. "Do you see something?

"...No," Luigi admitted. "But maybe we should take a break. We've been walking all day."

Kylie stared at him for a long time, then at Mario, who was panting. It was at this time she realized she was absolutely exhausted. "Yeah. That's a good idea. Let's rest."

She collapsed to the sand, breathing heavily. After recovering her breath, she decided to kill some time by writing.

* * *

I'm almost home, Diary. Almost back to my ordinary life.

And looking back, this has been a pretty awesome adventure. I met Mario and Luigi, I protected them from a zombie apocalypse, I got to see Saffron City up close, I fought the literal god of time, and it's all going to wrap up at Blackfire Crater. Maybe. But...where have I heard that name before? It's not like Fairfield or Saffron...where did I

Oh my God. Oh...my...God.

I get it.

All these places. Saffron, Fairfield, Radish Ruins, Blackfire Crater. I know what's with them. I know why I woke up in Saffron's Pokemon Center right after I died.

I just played them. Right before I came here.

I played Kirby and the Amazing Mirror. I played Left 4 Dead 2. I played Pokemon FireRed and _saved in Saffron's Pokemon Center_. And...Blackfire Crater...I just read that story. On FanFiction.

Just. Before. I came here. That's why! I brought these things here! That's what I'm doing by being here! That's what Krus T. was talking about!

...God, I feel stupid.

* * *

Kylie closed her diary slowly, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She looked at the Mario brothers, who were asleep, wondering if she should tell them.

_No, there's no point,_ she thought. _Well...I might as well get some sleep._

She laid her head down on the sand, and tried to get comfortable. She drifted off to sleep almost instantly.

She woke up to the sound of screaming. Specifically, Luigi screaming. She forced her eyes open, and saw him shaking in his boots as he looked up at the sky. Kylie looked up as well.

It was raining fire.

Kylie was up almost instantly, grabbing her bag. "C'mon! Let's go!" she yelled at the Mario brothers through her sleeve.

They began running through the desert faster than they ever had run before. Kylie noticed something was wrong. Her foot was asleep.

"Oh, come on! Not now!" she groaned, slapping her leg as hard as she could. She tripped, sliding a few inches across the sand. Mario grabbed her hand, and pulled her up forcefully.

"Thanks," Kylie told him. Mario simply nodded as another ball of fire exploded behind them.

Luigi shielded his eyes, looking ahead. "I see it! The ground's different!" he exclaimed, pointing.

The ground did in fact change from sand to rock. The fire instantly stopped. The three of them turned around to see giant balls of fire raining from the sky

Kylie turned around, back to Blackfire Crater. "We're here," she whispered. Kylie took slow steps forward, taking it all in.

"Kylie, watch out!" Luigi called. Kylie stopped and turned around to face him, and was promptly beaned with a spike ball. She was then met with a face full of debris.

"Ow," she groaned, pushing herself up. "What was that?"

Luigi ran over to help her up. "It's a Spike. He...horks up spiked balls."

Kylie turned around, and was faced with a small green thing with large lips. She sighed. "Well, at least we finally get combat."

Rushing towards it, her eyes registered it puking up another spike ball.

_Jumping's out, then,_ Kylie thought. _Then again, I wasn't planning to do that anyways._

Crouching down closer and closer to the ground, she kept running towards it. She jumped, ready to kick it in the face. Her foot connected with its target. And the spike ball connected with its target.

Both the Spike and Kylie were thrown off their feet, forced onto their backs by each other's impact.

"Be careful, Kylie!" Luigi yelled as he got closer. She got up, and watched Mario trounce the Spike with ease.

"I, uh, loosened him up for you," she said, dusting herself off. Mario smirked.

Luigi lifted his eyes. "Don't get too comfortable yet," he warned.

Looking up to see what he meant, Kylie was faced with a horde of Dry Bones.

"Hey, Luigi. Do you think that Drill Run move could work here?" she asked.

Luigi shrugged. "It's worth a shot," he said, tossing his hammer to Kylie. She caught the handle, but the head dropped to the ground.

"Man, this thing's heavy!" she grunted as she tried to start up another pirouette, like the battle with Dialga. With tremendous effort, she was able to get it off the ground long enough for her to build up momentum. As she spun, she used the hammer, her arms, and her legs to propel her faster and faster. The world spun around Kylie as she accelerated. She was beginning to get out of control.

_Which way was the horde again? _she thought absently. Her surroundings were blurred by her motion, and in the back of her head, she could hear Luigi's concerned voice. She couldn't quite make out the words. She decided to try her luck, and tilt herself in one direction, hoping she hit multiple targets instead of just two. She heard the shattering of bones around her, and realized happily she had chosen the right way. As she cleared the crowd, launching separate Dry Bones pieces near and far. As the sound faded, she realized something. She couldn't stop.

Kylie began to panic as her feet began to burn from the friction with the ground. Her hands began to hurt from gripping the handle as hard as she was. And still she gained speed somehow.

"Lu-uu-uu-ui-ii-ii-ig-ii! I-I ca-aan-n't stop!" she yelled.

Once again, she heard Luigi's voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Her feet seemed to move on their own, propelling her faster and faster. Her sight was divided into blue above, black below, and the clear view of her hammer. Her chest began to seize up from fear, and her hands began to sweat.

The hammer began to slip.

"Lu-ui-igi! I'm go-on-na dro-op the ha-amm-mm-mmer!"

This time, she didn't hear anything. She tried to hold on for as long as she could, the metal head still forcing her faster and faster.

Her hand slipped. She let go, and collapsed, breathless, onto the rocky ground. She heard an explosion of rock somewhere in front of her, but she couldn't pinpoint where. Her head was swimming, and she felt like she was going to be sick. Gasping for air, she stared at the ground, trying to get her bearings.

"What...what was...what happened...to my...my..." she tried to force out a question, but found she couldn't without the imminent threat of being sick presenting itself again.

In the back of her head, she heard footsteps. Probably Luigi's. She felt his hand on hers, but she waved it off.

"Not...not yet..." she breathed.

Luigi bent down. "What happened to you?"

Kylie shook her head. "I don't...don't..." She stopped, covering her mouth with her hands. Once the threat was gone, she rested her head on the ground. "Uuuugh..."

Mario didn't say anything. He simply looked at where Kylie's hammer had landed. It had blown apart a large mound of rock, and Mario could see an unearthly glow in the crater. Giving a quick look at his brother and his friend, he decided to investigate the glow closer.

"O...okay. I'm fine now," Kylie said as she stumbled to her feet. "Where's Mario going?"

Luigi turned his head to see what Kylie was talking about. "He's probably checking out the site of the 'crash'."

Kylie nodded. "Should we, too?"

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

**For those of you wondering 'how was I supposed to know that?' You weren't. I made it impossibly hard on purpose. You're welcome! But...where did the balls of fire come from? They weren't there before...Huh. Weird.  
**


	47. Goodbye

**I wonder what that light is...**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 47: Goodbye**_

Kylie and Luigi ran after Mario, curious as to what interested him so much. Soon after, they came to the crater where the hammer had landed, all three unaware that they were being watched.

"Whoa," Kylie breathed, as she saw the unearthly glow reflect off the blackened rock. "What is it?"

Luigi looked too, and saw...a large...white...circle? What? It's...it's just floating there. Oh! Sorry!

"I'm...not sure," Luigi frowned, walking around it. "Do you think it's the Deus?"

Why is that thing even there? It's supposed to be Super Boots! Luigi's supposed to get them and bring back Toadette, and they're supposed to have a moment!...Sorry, this is really unprofessional. I'll keep going.

"Possibly," Kylie agreed. "But be careful. We don't know exactly what it is yet, so it could be dangerous.

Nonetheless, she, too, felt the draw of the...strange object. Kylie walked around the two-dimensional circle, inspecting it closely.

It was hard to describe. It was literally just a flat, white disk, floating about half a foot off the ground. When she walked around it, she was amazed to see...nothing. She couldn't see anything betraying its existence from the backside.

Kylie frowned in thought. Hold on...just, uh, give me a moment. Thought reading is usually instantaneous...unless...

Oh Buddha on a bicycle, not again!

"Hey, Slick! Nice to see your ugly mug again!"

Mario looked up to a nearby cliff and saw...

Doopliss!? Why is _Doopliss_ here!?

"What are _you_ doing here?" Kylie asked angrily.

"Relax, I'm not gonna mess with you," he said smoothly. "Well, not right now, anyways."

Luigi tightened his fists. "What does that mean?"

"I'm just here to give you some info," Doopliss explained, looking down at the three of them patronizingly. "That's all! No tricks! Yet!"

Kylie narrowed her eyes. "So you're suddenly evil now? Last I checked, you were being a Good Samaritan bringing Mario back."

"Eh, I'm done with charades," Doopliss waved her comment off. "Anyways, do you want to hear this, or not?"

Kylie looked over at Luigi, to see his verdict. Luigi shrugged. "It won't do any harm to at least listen," he said quietly.

"Alright, here we go. First of all, that white thing," Doopliss pointed at the portal. "That is the thing you've been looking for since Day One. The Deus, I think you called it."

"Prove it," Kylie spat.

"Okay," Doopliss shrugged. "Touch it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Touch the weird white thing."

Kylie bore an uncertain expression. I'm...really irked I can't see her thoughts. Hopefully this sorts itself out soon. She reached out, and gingerly touched her finger to where it was. The portal's center exploded into colour, and suddenly, Kylie saw

"My room!"

...Yeah. Her room, I guess...Wait, her _ROOM? _No! This is a huge issue! This is way too early!

"There's your proof, chick. Second little tidbit's for you two cookie dusters."

Luigi and Mario looked from the portal to Doopliss. "What?" Luigi asked, looking a little less certain that Doopliss was lying.

"You two have probably been wondering what caused the fire at Toad Town, and rained fire down on your heads back there," he said, smirking.

Luigi took his hat off in anger. "That was you!?"

"No, no, no. I'm not _that_ omnipotent. I'm working for a higher power. And it's going to strike and start killing everybody in about...uh..." he looked up at the sun, which was at its apex in the sky. "I'd say ten minutes."

Mario staggered backwards. Luigi's eyes widened in shock. Kylie's head slowly drifted towards the ground.

"Oh, looks like our neighbourhood chick's figured something out!" Doopliss laughed. "And before you ask, there's no sort of escape from this. You're too far away from the coasts, and it's going to attack the entire kingdom at once. So, yeah. Sorry to burst your bubble."

Kylie, instead of retaliating with a sharp remark, slowly began to shake her head. "No..."

Doopliss jumped down from the cliff. "You have a choice, chick. That portal? It's going to close in five minutes. And by that time, you're either in or out. So...what's it going to be?"

Kylie slumped down to the ground. She didn't hear anything except her own whispers.

"Stay or go? Stay or go? If I stay...I'm going to die. I'll die a fiery death. And...Saffron will be incinerated, too. I won't respawn. I'll be dead. If I go...I'll be safe. But Luigi and Mario and Toadette and Toadbert and Kolorado are all going to die.

"They're going to die no matter what, Kylie. Why die with them?

"Because they're my friends! I can't abandon them! It's wrong!

"They're FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. You said it yourself: you're the only real one here.

"I don't think that! They're real! They're real!

"Are they really? And even if they are, again, what's the difference? They'll die either way.

"No! I'm not leaving them!

"How important are they to you?"

Kylie stared at her knees, debating wildly in her head.

"Kylie?" Luigi asked, concerned.

"Just...j-j-just give me a moment..."

"Are you crying?!" Doopliss laughed raucously. "Oh, by the way, you have three minutes left."

"NO!" Kylie stood up, her eyes wild. Conflict flashing by on her face, she whipped her head from Luigi to Mario to Doopliss to Deus, back and forth, back and forth. Holding back a scream, she clutched her head, shaking it wildly. "I can't! I can't make up my mind!"

"You'll have to!" Doopliss sang. "Two minutes on the clock."

"Kylie," Luigi said slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. We'll be okay."

Kylie looked at Luigi, tears lining her eyes. "I'm sorry,"

No...that can _not _mean what I think it means.

She turned her gaze to Mario, who nodded solemnly.

Please. Don't do this. Don't end Canon Fodder. Not yet. Not like this.

She shuffled her feet on the rocky ground, and turned to face the Deus. She looked over at the Mario brothers, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm...so...so...sorry."

Not like this.

* * *

The portal closed as Kylie felt hard wood under her feet. The wooden floor of the attic was stained by her tears, as she hung her head in mourning. Kylie turned around, hoping to find one last glimpse of her friends.

She saw only wall.

"No...wait, no!" she yelled, her breath quickening as she began to pound on the wall. "I want to go back! Let me back! Please! I want to go back! Please! Please! Open up! Take me back! Take me back! I made a mistake! I made a mista-aa-aake! _NOOOOOOOOO!"_

As all the strength left her arms, she was left feebly punching the attic, wailing and crying about her mistake. Her knees buckled, and she sank lower and lower to the ground.

"...Please...let me go back..."

She jerked up to a sitting position as she heard stomps below her. She shook her head slowly, realizing what that meant.

Endurance training.

"Kylie! What're yoo doin' oop there?" her father's voice came from under the trap door, distorted and slurred. "Stop fraggin' distroyin' the bloody house, or I'm gonna distroy yoo!"

Kylie shakily got to her feet, and trudged through her room, weaving her way sluggishly through all her gaming systems.

_No,_ she realized, having a sudden epiphany. _Not gaming systems...bribes._

She forced open the trap door, and started to climb down the ladder. Before her feet touched the ground, she felt her father's rough hands wrap around her arms, dragging her sharply to the ground.

"Git up!" her father's intimidating face spat above her. "We're startin' trainin' now!"

"Y-yes, father," Kylie sobbed, wiping tears from her eyes, before realizing what she was doing.

Her father's face went red. "Are you _cryin'!?_"

"No, dad, I-"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?"

Kylie was thrown into the wall as her father brought the back of his hand to her cheek.

"I called you father!"

"LIAR!"

Unwilling to open her eyes, she felt the sharp pain of his boots jabbing into her ribs. But she didn't cry out. She couldn't. Crying meant weakness. She had to be strong. She had to endure.

Kylie chose this.


	48. The End

**Goodbye, Kylie.**

* * *

_**Canon Fodder**_

_**Chapter 48: The End**_

The soft fabric of her bed pushed gently against Kylie's back. For the first time she could remember, it felt foreign. Raising her head slowly, she looked around at all of her gaming systems. Her parents had called them rewards for doing so well in training. She used to spend countless hours playing each one to distract from the pains of her endurance training. Now they only served as reminders of what fate she had left the Mario brothers to.

The tears from earlier dried on her cheeks, she rested her head back on her pillow. Her eyes stung, threatening to force her to cry once again. Kylie held back the tears. She had to be strong. She chose this.

Heaving a sigh, she stood up, turning her head to see the attic wall where the portal had been not an hour earlier. Her throat tensed up as her mind ran rampant, projecting images and sounds of pain and torture emanating from the Mushroom Kingdom. Her breathing became shaky as she thought back more and more. Doopliss had said there was no escape...did he mean it? Was there really no hope for anyone? Could she have done something?

"Luigi...Mario...everybody, I'm...I'm sorry..." she whispered, tracing her hand down the wooden wall.

Suddenly she was bathed in darkness. Kylie sighed tiredly; this was her parents' signal to go to bed. She knew the path there from anywhere in her room. But...tonight, she would not sleep. Kylie had too much on her mind.

Kylie knew she had to go back. She had to at least see what had happened to her friends. But what could she do? There was nothing; she had made her choice.

Tears flowed freely now, as she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, waiting for something to happen. Kylie stood there silently, watching for some tiny glimmer of hope, some sign she could somehow return and help.

Nothing happened.

Defeated, Kylie's feet moved of their own accord. Turning around slowly, she shuffled towards her bed, her shoulders hung and heaving from heavy breath. Her legs bumped into her metal bed frame, and she took the covers off, preparing to slide underneath.

But she didn't. She stood motionless at the side of her bed, unable to move. Her eyes were tired and irritated, her body heavy and drained. Yet she did not climb into bed. Instead, she sank to her knees and lowered her head onto the bed. For the final time, she clasped her hands together and wished.

_Please...I don't know who granted my wish the first time. I don't know how it happened, or what I did to deserve it. But...Please. If it's in your power, take me back. Take me back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Take me back to Vista Hill. Take me to Luigi. I need to know what happened to them...whoever you are, please, hear my wish. I want to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom and see what happened._

Kylie stayed in that position for what felt like an eternity. She did not move, for fear of her lack of concentration being perceived by lack of will. Kylie wasn't sure if this was criteria for wish-granting, but she didn't care. She couldn't take any chances. This was her one and only chance to make it up to her friends. This was her final gambit.

Kylie's knees felt sore, her hands red and shaking from how hard she was holding them together. And still, she stayed, head bowed, wishing harder than she ever had before.

_...please...please, take me back..._

Kylie's consciousness began to fade as fatigue proved too strong for her to withstand. Kylie's mind, after three long hours of vigilant wishing, finally drew back into a state of sleep.

* * *

_Grass..._

Kylie shot up from her laying position, eyes wide open. She was outside. Her heart jumped.

_Is this...Vista Hill?_

She looked behind her and saw the burnt remains of Bowser's castle.

"I'm back!" she yelled happily. "I'm back!"

"Yeah, looks like it," a familiar voice said wryly.

Kylie's eyes once again began to water as she turned around slowly. She was face to face with Luigi. Getting up quickly, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him, her tears soaking into his shirt.

She felt Luigi grab her shoulders and gently nudge her off of him. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm great," Kylie laughed, rubbing her eyes. "Dang it, Luigi, you're gonna make me run out of tears!"

"Yeah, you'd better not run out of those," he agreed.

Something in the back of Kylie's mind perked up at that statement, but she ignored it. "What happened after I left? What was that disaster Doopliss was talking about?"

Luigi shrugged. "He lied, I guess. Nothing happened. Everything was absolutely fine."

"Really? What about the fire?" Kylie asked.

"Never came," said Luigi.

Kylie frowned a bit. "Huh," she mumbled. "I was sure he was serious...but it's great the Mushroom Kingdom isn't eternally doomed, right? Where's Mario?"

"He's back at our house," Luigi explained. "He's cooking dinner. Do you want to come?"

"Mario's cooking?" Kylie asked skeptically. "Mario doesn't cook."

Luigi smiled. "He wanted to give it a try for when you came back."

Now Kylie began to notice the alarms that had been frantically ringing in the back of her head. "You two...knew I'd be coming back?"

"You wouldn't leave us. You're too important to us! You know how much we need you here!"

Kylie's breathing began to quicken. This was wrong. "Luigi..." she said slowly, shakily. "Luigi...where's your diary?"

Luigi stared at her, his expression unchanged. "It's back at the house. I can show you if you want."

That was it, then. Kylie shook her head. "Luigi didn't know I knew he had a diary. He thought he was being secretive about it. You aren't Luigi. Who are you?"

Luigi pulled down the brim of his cap. "That's your evidence, chick? Pretty weak stuff. Maybe Luigi was under the impression that you knew?"

With a quick motion, he looked up. But he wasn't Luigi anymore. He was Doopliss. "But, hey, if you want to get this over with now, chick, let's do it."

"Wh...what are you saying?" Kylie asked, backing away.

"Luigi, Mario, everone who was ever in the Mushroom Kingdom? Burned to a crisp," he said, walking towards her slowly.

Kylie didn't take her eyes off the ghost. "But...the hill looks fine! It's not charred!"

"I kept it like this so that I could fool you. And it worked for a while. But you wanted to rush this along."

"Rush what along!?" Kylie asked, before she tripped over the bench on Vista Hill. She tumbled backwards, and landed on her back. Doopliss jumped onto the back of the bench, smiling widely.

"You dying. And before you ask, no, I don't know why. Remember that higher power I mentioned, chick? For some reason, he wants you dead. So who am I to argue? He promised me this world. And I don't know if you've noticed, but this place is _perfect _for a little sandbox. Y'know, messing around, trying out ideas. He'd make me omnipotent. I could do whatever I wanted. I could make inhabitants just to mess with them! Their sole purpose: shmucks! Ha!" Doopliss jumped down from the bench, walking towards the terrified girl slowly. Kylie, her heart beating faster and faster, began to backpedal.

"No...don't kill me, please..." she whispered.

Doopliss said nothing. He just kept walking towards her, and she kept crawling backwards.

Finally, he broke into a wide grin. "Okay, fair enough. I won't kill you."

"Th...thank-"

"You'll do that yourself."

"...What?"

Doopliss made a quick jumping movement towards her, causing her to jump backwards. But when she landed...she didn't. She had fallen off of Vista Hill.

As the rocky wall rushed by her, she stared upwards at the smiling face of Doopliss as he turned around and headed away. Time slowed to a crawl as Kylie faced her final moments.

All that accompanied Kylie in her lethal descent was a sense of sadness and guilt. Not only had she left Luigi and Mario and everyone to die, she had damned everyone else on this planet to a Fate Worse than Death. She smiled weakly. _I wonder what trope this fits into? Bullet Time, I guess...and Face Death with Dignity. At least...I _hope _I fit that trope...But...Luigi...I'm so sorry...I'm so...so..._

Kylie's body slammed into the rocky ground at 120 miles per hour. She laid there, at the foot of Vista Hill, motionless...lifeless.

Kylie Kannet is dead.

* * *

Suddenly, Kylie woke up. _What?_ she thought, confused. _I thought I was dead!_

Kylie opened her eyes, and saw only white. _Weird..._

"No...no, you can't be...he _killed _you!? No! No, no, no!" A voice came from behind her. He turned around and saw a boy.

He was about two or three years younger than she was. Fifteen, or sixteen. He was a frail kid, and he didn't look very strong. His eyes flitted between her and something she couldn't see with a look of terror, shaking his head in denial.

"No...You're dead? You can't be dead!" he said softly to himself, before collapsing to his knees on the...ground.

Was there a ground? Everything Kylie saw around her was white. She couldn't tell where the ground stopped and the sky began.

"What's going on here?"

The kid looked up. "I'm...I'm so sorry. This is my fault."

"Who are you?"

"My...my name is Multikirby. I brought you to where you were. I put you through a lot of what you just experienced. And...I killed you."

"W-What? I'm dead?"

"Y...Yes. You're dead. We're dead. I'm...I'm so...so...sorry."

* * *

**Oh, don't stop now...the fun is just getting started...**


End file.
